I need some advice. Im 27, I have been on meth for about a year and a half, it started out just a weekend thing then for the last 7 months its been daily. Heres a little background
I had never done drugs in my life!! My mom was (or is) addicted to speed thats what they called it back in the day, I'm guessing its meth now. My younger brother who is 22 was on it, in and out of jail now back in. My bestfriend of 13 years one night started talking to me about this drug, I was a little curious, I was scared, I asked a lot of questions then I told her I would try it. She had her roommate get some, he and I actually started dating around the same time too. I tried it, thought it was cool, I did a parachute (swallowing) for awhile it was just the weekend thing. Then in September of 06 my friend and I started doing it daily cause I had lost my job (not cause of that though) and we were hanging out all the time. My boyfriend (now its been 1 yr and 9 months together) would do it but usually after work or on the weekends, I should also mention that he used to have a coke problem but is now not on it. Lately he has been giving me a hard time about doing it everyday, I will admit that I wanted to cut back or stop but being that we all live together my best friend didnt want to so it was really hard for me to stop. I told him if he didnt want to do it then I wouldnt bring it up or do it around him but he would ask me about it then he would do it. Well this weekend he decides while he is out with a friend that he cant come home that he is moving out cause he cant be around it anymore. We have been talking about moving together for about 4 months now but we havent been able to find a place. We basically broke up, I'm devastated, he says that I love the drugs more then him which is completely false!! My heart is broke, I told him I would quit for him many times cause he is way more important but now I'm lost, I dont know what to do, I want to quit but I asked him to help me and he wont. I feel stuck cause I dont have anyone, I feel like we should be sticking together and doing this together but he refuses. So I sit here alone but not alone cause my best friend is here (who is still doing it and doesnt want to quit) and my boyfriend or ex whatever is over there and is barely talking to me. I can move back home and live with my grandma but everytime I'm alone with my thoughts I start crying cause I feel betrayed by a man that said he was in love with me then just bails on me. Can I do this alone? I mean I thought he would give me some support but no he is being a total jerk about it. If I wasnt around it I could quit but then I start getting depressed cause the love of my life isnt here. I apologize if I seem to be rambling or confusing, I just have a lot of thoughts going in my brain and I'm lost. Any advice is appreciated.
Crystal meth is actually a lot stronger than speed from what i've heard.. I feel really sorry for you because unfortunately it sounds as though you're environment is the reason for you getting addicted to drugs. I would strongly urge you or anyone on meth to go and get some professional help. You don't need to live a life like the one you're living. there are people out there who are willing to help you. doctors, AA meetings, case managers and more...
i may be hiv positive because of meth actually, i found out i had anal sex with an hiv positive top luckily we were interrupted and i got nervous and left, but of course we were smoking meth. The next day I did it all nght with 2 guys i just met, all raw, its bad cuz once u start smoking it u lose everything you stand for...but theres nothing like gettin used on it