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mina

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 7
Location: london, england
Uk Abortion...
Posted: 02-22-04 19:16pm

I've recently discovered that i'm pregnant. I know from reading some of the other posts that some of you are very much against abortion. Please do not judge me and start telling me not to have an abortion, please respect my decision, I am here to find advice. Let me say that I have not yet decided to have an abortion, I am trying to find out as much information as I possibly can before I make a final decision.

I'm 18 and have just started university. The father of my child and I are not together as a couple, we just slept together on a one night (drunken) stand, although we are still in contact as we are quite good friends and socialise with the same people. I'm roughly, by my own calculations, about 10-12 weeks pregnant. There couldn't be any other worse time to fall pregnant. I've just started getting my life on track, and my family are irish catholic (need I say more?). I'm yet to tell the father, but i'm pretty sure he won't want anything to do with me or this baby. I'm not trying to offer any kind of justification for having/not having this baby, in my mind I don't need to justify anything to anyone.

What i'm looking for is as much information and/or advice as possible. I've researched the methods (gruesome as they may seem) and I need to know where the procedure would take place (in the uk). Would it be done in a special abortion clinic or in my local nhs hospital? Would I have to be referred to hospital by my gp? How long would I roughly have to wait for the actual appointment? Will I have to stay overnight in hospital or will I be able to leave soon after the procedure? Thanks for any advice and for not judging. Remember: I have not decided to have an abortion, I am finding out as much information as possible, while I assess the situation and all the other options. And of course, I need to tell the father, which i'm doing tomorrow. Eeek!
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sparklypixie12

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Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099

Posted: 02-24-04 18:43pm

Im biting my tongue so hard not to say too much.......
I am irish catholic too and yeah I know we're strict but our families wont abandon us-they are meant to be there for us in our times of need so perhaps you shud tell urs.
So...I guess you dont practice your religion based on how your baby was conceived & what you plan to do but thats ur caca I guess
so...U know how the baby will be aborted right? U will have counselling to see if your emotionally up to it.Im not 100% sure but you will probably be in as a day case in a clinic cos I dont think this will be a medical termination (using drugs) but you may be in overnight if you have surgery cos you need monitoring.Marie stopes in london may be somewhere you go but ur gp will tell ya.
Have you considered adoption? Its just something else to consider.
I suggest in the future that you go on the pill, use condoms and refrain from getting so p I s s e d that you dont think of these things.You know that makes sense so u cant slag me off for suggesting it!!
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mina

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 7
Location: london, england

Posted: 02-24-04 19:37pm

Thanks for biting your tongue, it was very much appreciated. Wink

so if I do decide to go ahead with a termination, it will be done in an actual abortion clinic, not my locl hospital? Do I pay for it? Me and the father are going to be talking about all the options (adoption is definately still an option).

You see the problem is, I was on the pill. D'ya reckon I can sue mycrogynon? I know, it's no laughing matter. Thanks for all your help again
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sparklypixie12

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Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099

Posted: 02-25-04 10:06am

Yeah-my tongue hurts! Lol!
I am on those pills! We're up using it properly? Like never got sick on them or had diahhoroea (cant spell-u know what I mean...The caca s!!) but I mean even using it correctly theres a 1% failure rate.
Please consider adoption huni cos its not as 'final' is it?
If you went to somewhere like marie stopes-you would pay.A lot. But it could be 'done' on the nhs because of it being the early stages but then again,i think you may have to have a medical abortion.Im not too sure.Dont be too hasty in your decision-either way its a decision for life.
Liz
p.S. Check ur pm's-i sent u one
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mina

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 7
Location: london, england

Posted: 02-25-04 12:29pm

Thanks alot again Smile

i'm going to the father's tonight for a full discussion of what to do..... I'll let you know what we're doing. *crosses fingers*
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sparklypixie12

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Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099

Posted: 02-25-04 12:35pm

No probs.Please think carefully about what you're going to do and let me know.I hope he's a supportive guy
liz
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KissyBai912

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Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida

Posted: 02-25-04 13:26pm

I hope he's a supportive guy too. I really do hope that you give adoption a lot of thought though. It's just that abortion seems to tragic and final. It makes me wanna cry. Especially since if you wanted too, you could hear your sweet little babie's heartbeat right now. I understand that this is not a good time in your life to have children but please please please truly think this through. Think of everyone it could or would affect. The baby, you, the father, your family, his family, and maybe, if you gave the baby up for adoption, you could make two people the happiest they have ever been. I don't know much about abortions in the uk but I still really want you to think this through. But best of luck in whatever you decide. Sad
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mina

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 7
Location: london, england

Posted: 02-27-04 13:53pm

Ok....


So I told the father on monday and at first he was a bit "oh caca". So we decided that I would stay at his last night to discuss what we should do. After alot of talking we've decided to keep the baby. And when I say "keep the baby", I mean keep it, not give it up for adoption. I'm gonna be a mummy :d we've worked everything out and he seems really pleased. We've decided we don't want to become a couple just for the sake of the baby, but he does want to be a full time dad, not just a part time one, so we're going to discuss finding a flat together so he can be with his son/daughter all the time. We're both going to take a gap year from uni to try and make some money and his family are quite well off so he's quite confident his parents will help out. We just have to tell everyone now. Oh dear!

I can't believe how well he's taken it. He keeps touching my belly all the time. Crazy guy. The cutest thing was last night he woke me up and said he couldn't sleep becasue he couldn't stop thinking about what a good daddy he's going to be. Awwww. So there we are. I've stopped drinking and smoking, but i'm slightly nervous about a scan becasue between the time of conception and when I found out I was pregnant I had drunk quite alot of alcohol and i'm scared about what effect that will have on the baby. *crosses fingers*

i just wanted to thank everyone for all the support they gave me. *big hugs*. All the best Smile
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sammisa

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004
Posts: 250
Location: Washington, State
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 02-27-04 14:42pm

Oh im sooooo happy for you >. Thank you for deciding upon that!! Seee .. He wasn't upset Laughing oh man.. I just wish I could hug ya through the computer... Welllll, I have 4 children of my own, and I almost lost one when he was only 9 months old, so it really hurts me to the point of tears when I hear someone wants to have an abortion, plus feeling the baby kicking inside of you is the best feeling you will ever have !!! You should be feeling that in a couple of weeks if you aren't already.. Oh im sooo excited for you .. Good luck to you !!!!!
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rach16

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 78
Location: Scotland

Posted: 02-27-04 16:44pm

Hi nice to c another londoner on here! I never judge anyway one anyway people do things for a reason. Where bouts r u from?I still aint decided on what im doing but my situation is complicated. If you wana chat just pm k

chat to you soon
rachel xx
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2ferano

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Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 02-27-04 17:54pm

I am so happy for you! U r going to be a mommy. Good decision!
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sparklypixie12

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Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099

Posted: 02-27-04 17:59pm

Oh my gosh! I feel so happy for you! You have done the right thing & im so happy things turned out well with the father-he sounds great!
You both obviously are gonna put so much effort into this-taking a gap year both sounds like a good idea.
Im sure your parents will be fine after the initial shock & im sure they'll be delighted that the two of you are making a go of being good parents.
So,congratulations mommy!
Keep me updated by pm's or u have my email addy
liz x
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KissyBai912

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Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida

Posted: 03-02-04 12:36pm

Oh my gosh!!! Yay! I am soooooooo happy! I sound like a complete flake but I really am!!! I promise you won't regret your decision the first time you hear the heartbeat, or feel your little angel (or in my case linebacker haha) kick. And when you get to hold them for the first time (i get to do in about 19 days) oh goodness......*claps hands* I hate doing laundry but I am on my 3rd load for this boy....He should have about 5 loads maybe 6 altogether and I am actually enjoying it all! I put his swing together all by myself! Lol. I promise this won't sound so idiotic when your baby is close to being here you will get so excited and just feel the need to clean clean clean! Lol......Oh goodness I am so happy for you! Well, enough babbling on my part I think. Good luck to you and let us know what's happening with you and baby! Maybe you should come over to the teen pregnancy forum if you haven't already? The girls there are really nice I promise! Goodbye for now!
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sparklypixie12

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Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099

Posted: 03-02-04 18:05pm

I was so happy too chrissy-its great for her :d
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