I hate to say it sweetie,but you said it yourself,it sometig that neds to be done and as long as he can he should work as much as possible so you can live comfortably with your child.I know you miss him,so maybe you should tell him that since he works so hard all week he needs to take the day(s) off he gets.that could also become a health issue for him,not eating or sleeping enough.tell him if you at least had a few days with him a week you would feel better.and maybe you could stay up a little later and wait for him to get home?I'm sorry about all this,I know it must suck.

and I don't think it is affecting your child unless your under *a lot* of stress and are depressed or something.(but I don't know too much on that subject)

no, i'm not depressed over it, although i do suffer from depression diagnosed by doctors. i eat when i'm hungry, which is quite often & i've put on weight. i get decent sleep & such. i exercise, i walk daily. i'm just sad that he's never around. but, we need this money. and, as much as i might hate his long hours, there's nothing i can do about it. it's going to make living comfortable for all three of us.

What type of feild does he work in? Would you be able to bring him dinner occationally or something?

unfortunately not. he works as a chef. there's plenty of food where he works. his breaks are short, if he decided to take one, which usually he doesn't because he's apparently become a workaholic. his job is also 45 minutes from where i live, so i don't visit him due to [1] gas prices are outrageously high & [2] my car is not at all reliable.

but for a 21-yr old, just graduating college this friday, his boss has offered to start him out at $52,000 a year. it's just, his work schedule is 12-hour days, 5 to 6 days a week. and he's set to work on mondays, which is the only day that clinic i go to sees high risk pregnant patients. he could get some of those days off, but not every appointment.

not to mention, we were all set to move in june or july & this put a question mark on whether or not it's still a smart move. i want out of new jersey, but he thinks with this new job we'd be able to make it on our own here. either way, i can't stand the state. ugh! drama...

My husband and i had tons of problems once I got pregnant again. After the death of our first baby things were great we were closer than ever but then when i got pregnant again he started to pull away because he said that he was worried about loosing me. But then he did become a jerk and he left. unfortunately he passed away before we had the chance to patch things up and well i don't know how things would have turned out if we had just gotten past all of that.

I hope things get better for you and your b/f.

I meant you should tell him its not healthy for him not to take a dat or so off so he can get the proper sleep and nutrition he needs.and about the depression thing,I was talking about depressed in general.can or do you take anything for it?

things changed dramatically when i was pregnant with my son. i was really just an awful pregnant lady. i was such a huge health forum. we always argued & i was really controlling & emotional & over dramatic about everything. it made him hate me a little bit.. lol. we were under so much stress, he was working 50 hours a week.. he kinda cracked under the pressure & broke up with me right after our son was born. i think we both just needed to clear our heads. he came back & we're becoming stronger than we ever were. don't stress too much, hun. remember that this is a stressful time for him, too. communication is key. & .be glad you have a hubby with a good job! he's not a dead beat & thats something to happy about!

Mike and I were really really close during my whole pregnancy. He was great. I know I was such a witch sometimes with the mood swings and emotional roller coasters, but he was awesome.

You are going to want to spend as much 1:1 time with him while you are pregnant, because once your baby is here it's hard to get it.

Me and my husband are really getting closer during my pregnancy. We are also going to counseling which has changed our marriage drastically! Our marriage was good before counseling but now it is awesome. The counseling is sorta a preventative thing but we are getting so much out into the open. Both of us have realized that we have unresolved issues with our parents and ourselves and we are trying to fix them. We are hoping these sessions will help us be better parents to .Luke.

edited to add- Even though I say that our relationship is awesome it wasn't always that way. The first trimester was horrendous because I was a health forum and ignored him. By the grace of God our marriage is better now.

Me and .Dom did fight more during my first trimester, we were going through alot with this pregnancy what with his family being so caca, our ages, my hormones being all over the place and just generally adjusting to our lives changing so dramatically. During my second trimester we were really really close always hugging and holding hands etc. Now i'm in my third trimester some of the fights have come back but i'm putting it down to my tiredness and how soon it is until .Mika's born, we still love eachother but it's just a little difficult at the moment but i know once our little girl's here we will be back to normal again

thank you, girls. after reading the responses, i feel a little better. i just calmed myself down by taking a 40 minute walk around my neighborhood. i texted my boyfriend to see if he wants to get together for dinner tonight, after he gets out of work. he seems a bit hesitant, because of how i reacted to him working on his day off. i was more than a witch, lets leave it at that. but, i think we'll be seeing each other tonight. i hope so. i miss him & i need to apologize. i was acting really immature & out of line.

i love that he is making great money, but it doesn't seem worth it to me if this is all we get to see each other. it wouldn't be so bad if we spoke more, but since he started working this job, we barely speak at all. we're lucky if we get to fit in a 15 minute phone conversation.

we used to see each other at least once a day, or every other day. to cut it back so much, so fast - i can't deal with it. i feel like he's missing out on seeing me pregnant. in the last two weeks, we've seen each other twice. it sucks, i hate it. but what can i do? logically & in reality, we need the money. especially if we want to get a place of our own before the baby is born. plus, he's trying to make it so that i can take however much time i want off to be a stay-at-home-mom.

ugh! i need a hobby. or friends. since i got pregnant, it's like i don't fit in anymore. everyone i used to hang out with is now of drinking age, so it's no longer dinner & a movie, but bars & clubs.

maybe i should look into going back to school? i only need four more classes to receive my associates degree.

I think going back to school sounds like a great idea! You could also get involved in some mommy-to-be classes so you can meat a group of women more at your stage in life.

I understand how you are feeling about not seeing much of your man. My husband used to work second shift and his hours were 4pm-12am. Many times, he would not get off till 3 or 4am. So, I was asleep when he came in from work and he was gone before I even got home from work. The only time we had were the weekends. Every other weekend, we would have his 2 kids, so ultimately we really only had every other weekend. And many of those he had to work. This went on like this for a little over a year. It was terrible; almost like being single again. But, he finally got transferred back to day shift and our lives are little more normal now. His working second shift with the longer hours helped us to buy the house we are in now; so some good did come out of it. Just be patient and maybe things will settle down after he's been working this job for a little while. Plus, it makes what time you guys do have together that much more special.

mommy-to-be classes, are they for woman only? or are they something that couples do like lamaze classes? because i can say my boyfriend most likely won't have time for them. and where are they usually held? i never thought to join something like that. and it actually sounds like fun. do a lot of younger girls participate in them? no offense to anyone of older age here, i just wouldn't feel comfortable with people who are going to look at me like, "oh she's still a child herself." i'm starting to get a whole lot of odd looks when i go out. i'm 21, but i look like i'm 18 still. my boyfriend would say even younger than that.

and yeah, i really think i'm going to get myself back into school. i miss it a whole lot. never thought i'd say that, but i mean it. i dropped out of college a year ago, mainly because i couldn't afford it with the circumstances i was dealing with. i've been on my own since i was 19. i also got into a really bad car accident, which caused me to miss two weeks of classes. after that i couldn't keep up, so i withdrew to save my GPA. maybe i can take one or two summer classes to keep me occupied.



did it cause you to fight at all? or did it put any tension on your relationship? how did your children deal with it? i'm so afraid that once the baby is born, if he is still working this job which i'm sure he will be if we decide to put off moving, he won't be around much to play the role of daddy. i don't want him to miss seeing his own child grow. i'm going to try change my attitude & wait it out. your right, things might be okay once he settles into his work. and he's been there for a while. he is still very new at the place & he has to do whatever it takes to get on the good side of his boss.

I meant classes geared toward mommy-to-bes. Like preggy yoga classes and stuff like that. Then you could have some female friends that are not into drinking and whatnot. (hopefully). I'm sure there are other options. That is just the first to come to mind....someone else can pipe up!