Hi All,

Quite a long and complex story but really hoping that somebody can help me with this.

I'm 30 years old and have recently started a new relationship. We have been together for only a short time and I have been having erection problems during this time. I do seem to be able to gain an erection when kissing/during foreplay but it is often short lived, in fact often my erection goes when I move to intercourse. If I do manage penetration, my erection has even dissapeared during sex which is pretty horrible. My girlfriend has been very supportive of this problem but I do find myself putting pressure on myself to perform.

I have just come out of a long and difficult relationship/marriage where I have spent the past 2 years without having any sex at all. I had masturbated quite a lot during this time as I have always had a very high sex drive, and always felt *very* sexually attracted to my wife.

I am still going through divorce but have met my new girlfriend and have been seeing her for a couple of months now. Before I met my new girlfriend I found myself not really thinking about sex at all and she is only my second sexual partner. When we first slept together I did have a lot of anxiety I had attributed this to my erection problems. However,
since then I have become much more comfortable but still find myself with erection problems, both gaining and maintaining.

These problems aren't just when I'm with my girlfriend either, I have masturbated a few times since meeting my new girlfriend and even looking at pornography doesn't directly excite me and my erection fades very quickly

The bottom line is I'm not sure what's wrong. I do get spontaneous erections in a morning/at night so I'm not convinced it is physical. I feel that it is more psychological, maybe I don't 'fancy' my new girlfriend but why would this affect my erection during masturbation? Why have I seemingly lost my sexual desire?

Sorry for the long post but this is really getting to me now. I really like my new girlfriend and I'm already very nervous about seeing her as I know sex will come up and I'm terrified of not being able to perform adequately which I'm sure is affecting my feelings towards her.

Any thoughts/comments/suggestions would be very welcome. I'm planning on going to see my GP or a counsellor. Is this a good starting point?

Thanks,
M