It sounds like you have some chemical problems there, likely brought on by poor diet and health. I do not suggest taking a medication like that unless you have a serious problem related to the physiology of the penis, not something that may be mental related. It's obviously an anxiety problem, but likely caused by inner chemical disturbances that are best corrected with healthy living. To start, my recommendation is to always try first something called saw palmetto. Get it in capsule form and try that for a week or so. There are no side effects and it should increase your erection potential, sex drive and overall sexual health. If not, there is something you need to change in your lifestyle to correct this. Erections get stronger just before orgasm so the semen achieves maximum distance (speaking of biology).

If your doctor said you seem to be healthy and able to get erections, you could try a therapist. You are certainly not alone here. A lot of men are in this same situation. It is often psychological, especially if you find that you are getting morning erections and are able to keep an erection during masturbation. People with this problem often to do well in therapy.

Don't worry about what your friends think. If they tease you or think it's weird, then maybe they're not very good friends.

Sounds like you're normal, but you freaked out a little too much. The very second time you tried to have sex you were on a prescription ED drug? That sounds drastic and it sounds like your doctor is just handing them out. It's a drug for ED, which you don't have. You're able to achieve erections when masturbating and even with girls, and the doctors check up was normal, you don't have ED.

You're problem seems to be psychological. Healthy living, diet, and exercise are great for that like Stan mentioned. You could also go to a therapist like Llewellyn mentioned, if it's a real big problem for you. Do you have anxiety in general, or only in this situation? If in general, then you should probably seek help from a therapist or your doctor. I had anxiety as a result of a stressful health condition and was given anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. I wanted off so I used the program you see advertised in infomercials late at night for Attacking Anxiety And Depression. It works well, and is the most natural as it only involves changing your thoughts, exercising and removing some bad things from your diet. I also found Amoryn and Serodyn, natural products, work great as well without the side effects of the prescription drugs.

If your anxiety is only in these sexual situations, then talk with a therapist or sexual therapist could help. However, you might not need that. Like I said before, you sound normal, you just freaked. You worried about ED, because you lost your erection your first time. Guess what, that's normal. Many men have some difficulty with erections their first few times with a new woman. Erections may be weaker, fade quickly, or even leave. The trick is not to worry about it, but that's easier said than done right. If it happens, be honest with the girl, let her know you might just be a little nervous and this happens naturally as a result. Then do something else such as please her and she'll have a good time. Sooner or later you'll feel more comfortable with her, she won't abandon you because of it, and you won't have the problem anymore. You don't want to sit there and try to get an erection from touching yourself, or having her do it if it's not working. Erections come from arousal and the mind, so over stimulation would only make you worry about it more when you see that it's not working.

If it helps you can build a relationship before you even get to sex and it'd be easier to explain, because you care about each other. However, if I were you I'd bite the bullet and go back to the girl you had problems with recently. Whether you want to explain why beforehand, or just put yourself into the sexual situation and see what happens, is up to you. If it doesn't happen, you're good, if it does, you can explain it then. Nerves can definitely effect erections, even if you feel calm. The good thing is, nerves settle. Sometimes in one session, sometimes after several times and you get to know each other better, what to do, etc. I also find honesty to settle nerves. If you're hiding you're feelings, you're inside yourself worrying, wondering what's wrong, wondering what she's thinking. If you talk about it, you'll see her calm and accepting response and that should calm you. You'll probably also find that she was worried too, thinking it was her, and in effect you'll be calming both of you. So try not to worry about, talk to her about it, be honest and if it happens continue on and have fun other ways. Staring at your penis, concentrating on getting erections and stimulating just doesn't always work. Letting yourself relax and casually thinking about things that arouse you do often work. Such as watching her, looking at her body, thinking about what you want to do to her, how it's gonna feel, etc. Just don't concentrate on it like you're trying to get an erection. The erection is what happens, it's not what you're aiming for.

thx I do find your posts very helpful, especially yours "Healthysex" I'm actually in a very good shape physically, I work out many times a week. And my diet should be ok as well, i eat 5 good meals a day. But yes i think i have some mental problems, i often feel anxious, tired, indifferent, i'm pretty sure I have some form of depression. I usually wake up tired, which i know is a bad sign. But I think it has been like this for most of my life. I sort of cope with everything but this sex issue seems too hard to overcome. I've heard that anti-depressants could kill the libido, so that wouldn't be good for me. But yeah, I think the only chance for me is to talk to the girl about my issue.. that should calm me. Thx again for your thoughts.

Glad to help and hop you've talked to the girl about it.

For people who have relatively healthy lifestyles (exercise, diet with fruits and vegetables, low on sugar/caffeine), sometimes just adding an Omega 3 supplement can be a great benefit to relieving depression/anxiety.

Also, sunlight and full-spectrum light bulbs for in the house could help. Negative Ion generator could help. Or EMF blocker. There's really a million things that improve health, so start with diet (including/excluding things), then Omega 3.

You are probably suffering from performance anxiety.

I have some experience with this also.

The problem is, that because you had problems maintaining an erection during your first sexual experience, in your mind you have built up that failure to be a huge thing. Then everytime you have tried to have sex since, you are constantly worrying about that previous encounter. Worrying, that the same thing will happen. It sounds so similar to what I have experienced. Unfortunately it is a bit of a downwards spiral, because its like a self-fulfilling prophercy. You think you will have a problem maintaining an erection during intercourse, and then ultimately you do.

If you have tried Cialis and it didn't make much difference you can probably rule out a physical problem. This sounds like its psychological. In other words, its in your head. Like I said before, I know something about this, because I have the exact same problem. And your symptoms and the way you talk about it is very similar.

Unfortunately I do not know of any way to really solve this problem. One thing that may help however, is being with a partner that you can be really honest and open with. Build up a lot of confidence and trust with that person. Talk to them about them about the problem, and that might rebuild your confidence. One thing I am finding out though, from these forums and such, is that this problem seems to be alot more common that I thought. So at least you are not alone in this one.

Oh my God, I feel so sorry for you. I guess you are having some erectile problem. I read about a syringe called Caverject which helps in these situations. You need to give it a try.