Depression Forum - Me And My Friends

Hi!
Not sure if this is the right forum, but want to get this out in the open. I feel I recently have not be myself lately at all, especially with my friends. It all started I believe this past week when my college had a spring formal. People had been talking about it for a while, but I had no intention of going (don't know why) and when people asked me to go I said I had to work... it was true, but a lame excuse. I told my mom that I wasn't going and she was furious! I e-mailed her back right away and said "Ok tickets are still available -it's only 20,etc.) and she replied back and said "No I think it's too late!" so I didn't go. My friends didn't even ask me if I wanted to go with them if I did happen to say yes.

So every since then, I have been down in the dumps, been isolating myself from my friends and now it seems that for whatever reason , my roomate doesn't want to talk to me... Tonight at dinner I told her that I got out of class early and she closed her eyes and sighed like she didn't want me to talk to her.I honestly do not know why I am acting this way, but it upsets me because I don't know why.

I am on a medicine called Celexa for anxiety which was another issue with me earlier in life. When I was 14 years old, my family had an exchange student living with us and naturally because it was the first time I became jealous that she was "talking to my Dad" more than he was talking to me. I don't reember how the eating problem came about, but what I do remember is not eating at all, "passing out", and making myself throw up in the toilet. At dinner, lunch, or whatever I would get a "lump" in my throat and therefore not get anything down, just sit there and not eat. My parents were so angry at me. Or if I did eat and not want it anymore when they walked out of the room I would secretly throw bread or whatver in the wastebasket-they'd find it and make me eat another piece. I reemeber it took me almost a whole hour to eat a egg sandwich once. I also remember one time my exchange student crying in the sunroom with my Mom cause she wanted to help me, but she couldn't and I had to do it on my own.My mom was so upset with me. I seriously went down to 86 pounds and was hospitalized beacuse they thought something was physically wrong,but in the end it was anxiety the hwole time. It was so bad I wanted to commit suicide because I was not the same girl. My mom was concerned ''She was like where's my little girl-the smiley Katie- you're a totally different person". Thank God I didn't commit suicide- I eventually got out of it. But the moral of the story, the way I am feeling now is the same way I feel when I had my anxiety.

I am an only child and have always had friend problems with peers my age. My mom says that I need to be with kids my own age and not adults- she claims the only reason I like adults is "cause they're kind and patient with me" . She also says I have immature behavior-I'm going to be 21 but I am not interested in boys,looking good for myself and others,etc. she said that I am just happy to come home every weekend , be with my parents and watch TV, that's what old people do she said. As long as you eat, sleep, and watch American Idol you're happy. She said it's not healthy and I agree , but that is what makes me happy.

what should I do? I don't want anyone around just to be by myself is what is making me happy now.

Katie