I in no way think that you should teach children abstinence, in some cases it can make them believe that sex is a dirty act that shouldn't be performed. I think that you should tell children everything about sex, from sexual abuse to contraception to pregnanct to sexuality etc. I tottaly agree with everything you've said, if everyone was taught in this way then there would be a lot less predigists towards sexuality and the unwanted pregnancy and sti's rate would be alot lower

I think sex should first be brought up when the child shows interest in knowing where the came from. I first learned about sex when I was six, because I was ready to know. If a child doesn't know anything yet by puberty, then they should be thoughroully informed then; and the kids who already asked should get a more in-depth lesson.

I think at this point, it needs to be stressed that sex is for adults who are in love, and that it is not an activity for children or teenagers. I'd explain why it is dangerous for teens to have sex - without lying. I would also encourage my child to talk to me if they ever had questions about sex, because it's not a taboo subject. I would assure them I wouldn't get angry at them about sex and that I felt it was far more important to talk to me and be safe, than to be scared and unsafe.

Once my child has a serious relationship, I'll help him/her get the proper protection if they seem interested in sex - if they are over the age of 18. If they're underage, I'm going to stress again that sex is not a safe activity for teens, and then get them protction, but I'll be paying a lot more attention to it and to their activities.

Girls aren't allowed to have sleepovers with boys. If my child is gay, then they're only allowed sleepovers with the gender they're not sexually attracted to, lol. On that note, my kid is going to know about homosexuality by puberty. I didn't know about homosexuality until around that time and I am still amazed about that fact to this day. I am totally comfortable with the idea of being gay, lesbian or bi, but I'm not going to push my child to identify their sexuality.

I've completely gotten off tangent, but I think a major point here is that much of sex education responsibility lies with the parents, not the schools.

Just out of interest what are the reasons that sex is dangerous for teenagers? I know that cervical cancer is more common in later life if you have regular sex at a young age but other than that i have no idea. Also are you worried that any of your future children could have a bad veiw of young mother's because you've taught them that sex before adulthood is wrong. None of that was meant to be offensive just incase it comes across as it is, it wasn't intended to be

I totally agree with all of you, obviously only so much can be done in schools etc. and that there is a huge part that lies on the parents. I think it partly depends on how it's taught as well. In my school, it was all a bit serious and you could sort of tell they didn't really want to do it (it was a catholic school) so I think the whole attitude should be more open so that if kids do have problems they feel more comfortable talking about it with someone.

There is also the issue of religion into this though, and some people who believe their kids should not be having sex at all until marriage and won't let them have any kind of sex education. I, for one, completely disagree with that, but that's just me.

I believe it is dangerous because of the risk of STDs and pregnancy. Those two reasons alone make it very dangerous. If teens used adequet protection and if they were taught properly to be responsible then I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I think the respect for the human body needs to be taught at a very young age. My children are going to be comfortable with their bodies. If they know and understand the dangers, then they are far more likely to use protection.

Ahh i see. I do tottaly see where you're coming from, i got about 4 sex ed lessons at school which i think anyone will agree is not enough. I knew all about contraception and sti's etc which is why i knew i was ready to have sex. I can't take contraception such as the pill because i have a reaction to it as does my mother and sister so we had to rely on condoms, subsecently i am 32 weeks pregnant at 15, i wouldn't change it for the world now because i love her to bits but it's not ideal. i am planning on teaching my daughter from a young age so that she knows exactly what can happen and how to prevent it, how to look after her body etc. I don't want the same thing to happen to her because it is extremly hard at this age, fair enough school ends in two months so i don't have that to worry about anymore but my plans of going to college this year have gone untill next year

I think for women and teens who know and understand the risk as you did, that I am totally okay with it. You knew what you were in for; you did the best you could and you knew what you were going to do if you became pregnant. I'll admit I didn't have a contingency plan for pregnancy beyond "omg freak out abortion?" when I first started having sex, but then again I was old enough to deal with it as well. Now I do have a plan; if I become pregnant and we (me and my fiancee) decide not to keep it, I'm going to adopt out to a gay couple

What frightens me are the teens who ask if they can get pregnant from grinding, or the girls who think that they can't possibly be pregnant because they didn't orgasm during sex.

it makes me sick to think that some people are so uneducated about sex that they end up in bad situation. It really really annoys me when people give out such messed up advice, i was once told that squirting coke up your vagina after sex will stop you getting pregnant just seems like a quick route to infection to me!

Oh my goodness XD Yes, there are some horrible birth control and protection myths out there. This is why parents need to talk to their children!!

Believe me that's why i'm going to tell my little girl everything. i don't want her going around thinking that sqiurting coke up herself is going to stop her getting pregnant. I would much prefer to go out and buy her condoms if she decides she's going to have sex young than have her thinking that

Same here ^^

My school had a great sex ed. program. My parents are kind of open about sex, but I know that I know a lot more about it than they do. So I learned more in school than I would have from just them alone.

We had a whole semester-long class called "Sex ed" rather than just that one chapter of sex ed in health class that some schools have. People came in from Planned Parenthood and Family Planning. They told us about all kinds of birth control. They brought in dildos and showed us how to put condoms on. We had a Baby Think It Over. They had fake breasts and testicles with lumps so that we could practice self-exams and get an idea of what to watch out for. We learned about STDs.

I don't remember anyone being pregnant in my high school, and it was a good sized school. I was teaching in another school just a few months ago, and there were pregnant girls everywhere. I have no idea what that school taught those kids, but judging from the rest of their curriculum, it wasn't anything very informative.

I want my kids to know all about this stuff, like I did. I started having sex before I was 18, but I knew a lot about it, and was able to go to my parents to ask to be taken to the doctor for a pap and birth control.

When I was a teenager, I took many risks, and turned out to be very lucky. Although most of my first experiences were with girls, I had a fair share with boys as well. Nobody ever told me that sex was supposed to be enjoyable, so I think I spent all of my time trying to make the other person happy, but never focused on what I was gettingoput of it-which was very little. When I got a serious boyfriend it changed quite a bit. The emotional attachment really helps to lay the groundwork for a healthy sexual relationship.

Sometimes I wonder if modern humans put too much emphasis on this whole thing in the first place. Historically there were orgies and places to go to have sex with a variety of people. there have almost always been prostitutes. I just wonder how the end-all be-all of human existence ended up this way. Nobody mutters under their breath when the neighbors cat is in heat for the 5th time and is out trying to screw the squirrels.

As for my children, I would like to think that I will give them any information they ask for and whatever they need. But, I wish I could shelter them away from all of it as long as possible. When I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, my then 4 1/2 year old had many questions about "how did that beby get in there? How will it get out? Can I watch?" Which we answered with just enough info to satisfy her curiosity. I want to think that I can talk to them about mastrubation, gay and lesbian sex, giving head, the joy of mutual orgasm, etc etc, but, alas, I am still shy about this, and cannot picture the conversation.

I guess I still have time to muster my courage.

The only other thing that I know is that I have been with my husband for 16 years and have been married for almost 13 years. We have a great sexual relationship, and that is becuase we have developed together. It sure did not start out where it is. It grows and matures with time. I wish we could know then what we know now.

I think openness, especially from parents, is really important.

If you've read my other posts you'll know the kind of problems I have, and I think it's all because my dad used to say 'don't ever let boys touch you' and he was quite protective. He wasn't massivley so, but I think it's impacted the way I think about sex, that it's 'dirty' and not allowed. And then when I first got with my boy, my brother said a similar thing. As for my mam, well I spoke to her about going on the pill when I was 15 and she was a bit dubious but she agreed that I go on it, and she said she didn't want me to do it til I was 16. I also know my dad spoke to my bf about sex and said that he would prefer it if we'd wait til I was 18. So when I eventually did do it, I had all these pressures of people not wanting me to do it and that it was wrong. I was a month away from being 16, and in the end I thought screw everyone else, this is my choice. I decided I wasn't going to be any different when I was 16 and decided I was mature enough at that time. In my opinion, I think all of this has reflected back on me and manifested itself into some unconscious disillusion about sex.

Basically I'm saying that parents can be more open with their kids about it, and discuss things like orgasms, masturbation etc cuz it's all normal. I didn't know I could even have an orgasm til I was 17.
I've rambled on a bit, sorry

Oh man XD I discovered orgasm when I first masturbated at age 12, and no one told me how to do it or that I should or shouldn't be doing it.

I wish I'd discovered it earlier lol

Actually, while we're doing our treatment, there is no sex OR masturbation. It's gonna be about 3 months long. I think I'm gonna die!

Auagh XD I'd go nutty

Actually once when my dad was in kosovo I made a "deal" with god (I was still kind of christian at the time) that if I didn't masturbate the whole time my dad was gone - 6 months (because I thought there was somewhere in the bible it said it was bad) then god would keep my dad alive. Well, I totally gave up after 3 months!!

Wow, that is a long time to go without! It can be done though. I once went about a year and a half without sex or masturbation. If I go without for long enough, then it's almost like my sex drive goes into hibernation until I need it again.

I have been masturbating for as long as I can remember (other than that year and a half in college). I remember masturbating when I was about five or six years old. I do not remember when and how I started. I remember having orgasms even back then, although I know that I did not know what they were at first. Not sure how old I was when I realized what they were.

I was the same way. I have no idea when exactly I started because it seems like I always did. My parents though were NO help at all when it came to sex. While they never said that it was dirty or anything, they pretty much pretended that it didn't exist. If I hadn't been such an avid reader, I might not have learned anything before actually doing it.