Hi emily,
I hear the hurt and pain you're feeling
just by knowing what life is really like.
it sounds like you are young and that
you've reached a part of your life where
you realize how things run this world.
you don't have to be part of it if you
despise what others do.
the media and society has drilled into
your head that you want to be thin and the
only way you'll be happy you said is if
you're thin.
I think that's all in our minds. being
thin doesnt bring happiness but accepting
who you are does.
if you don't like yourself, than who are
you going to like?
yes the world is materialistic, but you
don't have to be.
I think the problem is that we're both
very sensitve people.
people who are sensitve feel too much
which in turn makes us see things more
than others would.
you see others just living their lives
every day not giving things as much
thought.
being too sensitve will make us feel
differnt and seperate from others
therefore making us feel we've always been
a loner when we were little.
I too have felt that way all my life. that
I don't somehow fit in.
I was the quite one in the back of the
class, not wanting to get any attention
from anyone.
I was the one with the skinny banged up
knees who didn't feel like all the pretty
girls who had on up to date clothes,
because my mom made my clothing. I hated
that.
I felt I wasn't raised as the typical
american child because both of my parents
were born and raised in a different
culture. so when they came to america and
had children here, it was as if they were
still living back home in Czecoslovakia.
I always felt like I never fit in.
when others would pick on certain girls
just because they were over weight or had
pimples and wore long skirts down to their
ankles, I was the one that made freinds
with them. I clung to them actually and
became best freinds with them.
I've always had a passion for people who
feel they don't fit in. because I know how
they feel and I love them more because of
this. they're the ones that need more
attention and to know there are people out
there who really do care.
I too feel the same way you do about life.
but not the same views on our country. I
do about the war though and feel there
should be no war. war comes from fear. we
fear that someone will take over or fear
someone will take our lives. everything is
fear. fear is the unknown.
I understand we have to protect our
country because so many people hate us for
what we are or what we represent.
we've helped so many countries and have
accepted so many different people from
different cultures to come into this
country so they can have their freedom.
they deserve it. everyone deserves
freedom. we live and we die.
and the only people who will remember us
is our direct family and loved ones, and
our freinds.
do you think that the famous actors and
politicans are going to be remember for
ever when they die? NO.
there is nothing special in anyone. we are
all the same and nonone is unique from the
other. we are alive and it's up to us to
make the best of what we have. you can be
negative which will only make your life
worst, or you can choose to make your life
better by being happy in side.
only you know what can bring you
happiness. materialism can be taken away
in an instant so self gratification by
that method is only short term.
maybe we're not supposed to know why we're
alive. but we are. so we can't go against
that, but search to become something
rather than wither away and turn into this
miserable, synical, unhappy soul.
my ex husband sounds just like you are. he
feels all bad things happens to him
specifically. that's becasue he LOOKS for
things to be negative about. why not
search for the good things that happen to
us?
if we keep thinking doom, it will be
doom.
I really wish I could help you feel better
but know only you yourself are able to
accomplish this. if you are clinically
depressed, which is something you will not
be able to overcome on your own, there are
doctors who can help you with this.
it made all the difference in the world to
me when I felt deprssed but didnt' even
know I was depressed. sounds silly, but
it's true.
not till I got on a specific medication
was the veil of doom taken off my eyes and
senses and than I blossomed into this
beautiful, free butterfly.
I wasn't bound up with anger and fear
anymore but saw beauty in life. and I
learned that the little things in life are
much more important than the big things.
you can be happy without being thin.
I wish you well and if you want to just
talk, I'm here for you.
sincerely,
Linda
