Way to fast, its almost may, jason leaves july reality is setting in that he could possibly die over there or get hurt, had an anxiety attack the other night wich i hope doesnt occur again but most likely will. But ahh i dunno what to do, i cant be here alone while hes gone or i will end up having full blown panic attacks and i have children to care for. Most likely going to nc but i dont wanna fly alone i dont know how im gonna get off the plane holding jordynne , with joseph and his carseat and keepin him from running away so i can get the stroller at the front of the plane to put em both in to get to the other gate, ah i wish they had nonstop flights, some stop in charlotte nc but i looked up from here to charlotte and they stop in washington then charlotte. charlotte is 4 hrs from my sister but raleigh is an hr away so im most likely flying in there so i dont have to switch planes twice to go into fayetteville. But there is still one switch. AH this is soo nerve racking and jordynnes passport if it takes 8 weeks would get here middle of june, so cutting it close with jason leaving, i hope we get it befor ehe leaves and our taxes so he can take me to the airport. We are still waiting for her ssn, the lady said u can go to the website to look it up and print out there ssn if it was applied for before the card to do the taxes but i couldnt find anything on there site about that i might call in a lil while, we got the form to do the amendment so we are able to do this yrs taxes, we do the amendment for sure may 2nd!. But the tax money is what im gonna be using for the plane ticket too so eh, right now its just like blah im stuck. Things will be a little better when jasons back he gets back sat night or sunday.
I hate the commercials on AFN here, theres one where they show teh guys fighting the war and theres a song on it and i can only remember one lyric where it says "im not afraid to die" everytime i see that commercial it depresses me. i saw it last night and started crying thinkin about when jasons gonna be over there and stuff. I wish we didnt have these depressing commercials from the military on TV , they dont help at all.