Sexual Health - Men Forum - I Need Help (stimulation Problem)

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Q: I Need Help (stimulation Problem)

asked by: troubledteen on April 26th, 2007

New User

I have a HUGE problem that has slowly been demoralizing me for about a year now

Im 17 years old, and i have been sexually active with girls for about a year, although i am still technically a virgin.

My problem has to do with not being able to ejaculate, or even feel ANY pleasure whatsoever while recieving blowjobs, handjobs, etc.. Its like i just sit there and its not even fun, and after about a minute i almost lose interest completely

I can reach orgasm while masturbating, but it usually takes a little while (at least 5 minutes) and for the most part doesnt even feel good until climax

I have absolutuley no problem getting an erection and i can stay completely hard for as long as i need to. I have become so frustrated with my problem that i have tried to jack off in all different ways, at different speeds and positions for even hours on end, and it never seems to feel good, or right and i end up feeling even more depressed.

The wierdest part is i can only reach ejaculation under certain circumstances while masturbating, such as i need porn or some visual stimulant. I am pretty much unable to ejaculate, or even pleasure myself at all just freestyle like in the shower, in my bed, or anywhere that isnt in fron tof the computer pretty much.

I exercise almost everyday, I eat EXTREMELY well (no fast food, soda or sugar)

I have thought through many reasons for why this could be and the only thing i can come up with is that my sleep patterns are way off as i almost never get more than 5 or 4 hours of sleep a night, but i am trying to correct this. But this sounds like a false reason.

I feel very demoralized by my situation, because i think its safe to say that sexual pleasure and sensation is something that everyone pursues

I guess what i really need is some way to make my penis more sensitive or my sexual instinct better.

if anyone has ANYTHING that will help my situation it would be very much appreciated. I am considering consulting a doctor, and i have even considered that maybe it is a phycologicial problem and i need mental counseling.

any relpies are appreciated so much, thank you!

Replies(5)

Tylanas

replied on April 26th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

This isn't due to your sleep patterns. I don't know what is causing it, but it does sound psychological.

I would certainly go talk to a doctor; the sooner you do, the sooner you can get on the road to enjoying sexual touching Smile

HealthySex

replied on April 28th, 2007

Experienced User

Never hurts to go to a doctor and make sure everything is working right.

That said, how do you reach orgasm through masturbation? You mention you've tried many different ways without success, but which way works?

What about the porn helps you achieve orgasm? Is it the female figure, the sound of her having pleasure? Perhaps in your dealings with women, you are missing one of these aspects. You could try to think of these things, not concentrating like, but arousing like. If it's the sound of the woman receiving pleasure, that may be something you're not getting from hand jobs, etc because she's not moaning. When you reciprocate for her, do you get turned on by her sounds? Some people get their arousal from within, and others get their arousal from without, whether that be touch, visual, auditory. Some may even get their pleasure from other's pleasure as opposed to even concentrating on the physical feelings of their own. Such as a man paying more attention to the cues from a woman being pleasured, and barely noticing the very sensations building in his penis.

Also, please check out some of the comments in this thread...
http://ehealthforum.com/health/viewtopic.p hp?p=568009#568009

In it I mention Kegels and Histamine levels.

troubledteen

replied on May 1st, 2007

New User

in response to healthy sex,

I can sit down and complete masturbation and orgasm in about 5 minutes

but standing up in the shower doing every different hand motion I can for hours and never reach orgasm

I will try to figure out what my "niche" is if there is one, whether it be sounds visuals or what

what i have notcied is that while masturbating sitting down, if i stand up at any time during masturbation, i lose ALL sensation...and i have to start over sitting down again

there is just something wierd going on, i think it is beyond lack of sounds...

SO on a furthur note, what is the first step in getting medical attnetnion..whether it be medical or phyological?

who do i contact, and how do i present this situation?

any responses are greatly appreciated!

Tylanas

replied on May 1st, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I am a girl, and I find masturbating while standing a very difficult if not impossible thing as well...

HealthySex

replied on May 2nd, 2007

Experienced User

If all you're having problems with is masturbating while standing, that's not a big deal. I too have difficulty achieving orgasm while standing. The jokes about masturbating in the shower just don't apply to me, because I've always found it difficult to do while standing. I can still do it, but it requires a lot of work and quickly. Are you familiar with your pelvic floor muscles (often called the PC, more correctly the BC in males)? Perhaps you've heard of the exercises for them, kegels?

It is with these muscles that I am able to achieve orgasm while standing. However, it is still difficult and I must contract them tightly and for extended periods which can be very tiring and not worth it.

So that's not a problem.

As for not being able to reach orgasm when a partner stimulates you, you could work on that. Like I said earlier about arousal, finding what gets you excited would help. Stimulation alone isn't always what brings about orgasm. If you find it to be a real problem and want to seek help, you could talk to a normal doctor and rule out any health problems (though, if you're able to achieve orgasm through masturbation it doesn't sound like there's any physical problem). Or a sex therapist could teach some things and perhaps techniques.

Another problem may just be that your partner just doesn't really know what she's doing, or what you like. Don't be afraid to tell her or show her what you like. Show her manually, tell her vocally, take her hand and show her, etc. If she does something you like, let her know.

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