Having a Hard Time Trusting Him.... Posted: 04-26-07 15:54pm
i'm not really sure what to do. I'm having
a really hard time trusting my husband and
we have been together for three years and
married for two. He has never cheated on
me that I know of but I have had a really
bad past and everyone I have trusted in my
life has really hurt me. Like my Dad!! I
trusted him so much and I was a daddys
girl then one day I came home from school
and he had a letter on the table saying
that he cant take this crap no more and
all his things were gone. Then my best
friend wanted to go to the movies (he was
a boy)and he took one of his friends and
then we went riding around town and he
gave me a pill that I thought was alieve
and it was not but him and his friend took
advantage of me. Really that is not even
the half of it but Its just always seems
like he is trying to hide things from me
and I guess it because he hardly ever
smiles but if I ask him if everything is
ok he says everything is fine why do you
ask and i'll tell him and then he will get
mad. We really dont talk that much because
when he comes home from work he wants to
just watch tv. I'm not sure what to do I
just feel like he is hiding things from me
and it is really bothering me. I hope this
made since and someone can help!!!
|
meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2131 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Re: Having a Hard Time Trusting Him.... Posted: 04-26-07 19:12pm
bamagirl
wrote:
i'm not really sure what to
do. I'm having a really hard time trusting
my husband and we have been together for
three years and married for two. He has
never cheated on me that I know of but I
have had a really bad past and everyone I
have trusted in my life has really hurt
me. Like my Dad!! I trusted him so much
and I was a daddys girl then one day I
came home from school and he had a letter
on the table saying that he cant take this
crap no more and all his things were gone.
Then my best friend wanted to go to the
movies (he was a boy)and he took one of
his friends and then we went riding around
town and he gave me a pill that I thought
was alieve and it was not but him and his
friend took advantage of me. Really that
is not even the half of it but Its just
always seems like he is trying to hide
things from me and I guess it because he
hardly ever smiles but if I ask him if
everything is ok he says everything is
fine why do you ask and i'll tell him and
then he will get mad. We really dont talk
that much because when he comes home from
work he wants to just watch tv. I'm not
sure what to do I just feel like he is
hiding things from me and it is really
bothering me. I hope this made since and
someone can
help!!!
This is a tuff one. But I am going to tell
you what I feel from your post. Please
don't take this as being hard on you.. I
am not trying to do that. But I think you
have been hurt so many times in your past
that it has followed you into the present.
I don't think there is anything wrong with
your relationsip, but you as looking for
something. Unless there is something you
can put your finger on, just relax and
show him a little attention and let him to
the rest. Men are so much different than
women. They feel everything is okay and we
feel something is wrong. Just try smiling
and let the day go on. No question asked
and see how that goes. I would just be
yourself don't ask a lot of question, feel
secure in yourself and see what happeneds.
It might even make him wonder.. ??
|
Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4038 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 142
Thanked:13
Re: Having a Hard Time Trusting Him.... Posted: 04-26-07 19:18pm
bamagirl
wrote:
i'm not really sure what to
do. I'm having a really hard time trusting
my husband and we have been together for
three years and married for two. He has
never cheated on me that I know of but I
have had a really bad past and everyone I
have trusted in my life has really hurt
me. Like my Dad!! I trusted him so much
and I was a daddys girl then one day I
came home from school and he had a letter
on the table saying that he cant take this
crap no more and all his things were gone.
Then my best friend wanted to go to the
movies (he was a boy)and he took one of
his friends and then we went riding around
town and he gave me a pill that I thought
was alieve and it was not but him and his
friend took advantage of me. Really that
is not even the half of it but Its just
always seems like he is trying to hide
things from me and I guess it because he
hardly ever smiles but if I ask him if
everything is ok he says everything is
fine why do you ask and i'll tell him and
then he will get mad. We really dont talk
that much because when he comes home from
work he wants to just watch tv. I'm not
sure what to do I just feel like he is
hiding things from me and it is really
bothering me. I hope this made since and
someone can
help!!!
Hey there, it sounds like you have quite a
bit of anxiety about men leaving you or
violating you, which makes sense b/c of
your past history. Paranoia and
insecurity can ruin relationships. I
would recommend that you seek out a
therapist. This kind of stuff-father
abandonment & rape- can stick around
and leave you emotionally confused for
years. Please seek out help! Best of
luck to you!
|
LennonLove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 May 2007 Posts: 5 Location: Pennsylvania
Posted: 05-03-07 12:34pm
To be quite honest with you, everyone has
trust issues. You can never fully put your
trust in someone, nor should you, due to
the fact you may be letdown more than you
know. Honestly, it sounds like you lack
communication in your marriage. If he
knows about your past then he should be
willing to give you that reassurance,
however, when guys say nothing is wrong
most of the time there really is nothing
wrong. They don't like opening up and that
can frustrate the hell out of a woman. I
have the same problems with my boyfriend,
however, I opened him up completely. You
need clear communication and reassurance
in a relationship. Perhaps sitting him
down and explaining your insecurities and
letting him know you don't want to bug him
every day, but that he should communicate
with you more. I'm sure that would put
your mind to ease. Building trust takes a
lot of time and effort. If he loves you,
then he should be willing to do his part.
As for you, I'm sorry to hear about your
horrific past experiences, but just know
you need to learn to open up a bit and
give everyone a fare chance. It will take
effort on your part as well. I hope i've
helped you out as much as possible. Let me
know if you have anything else i can help
you out with. Good Luck!
