Ending a Relationship Forum - Should I End It?

Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum > Should I End It?

Q: Should I End It?

asked by: mayclmbr on April 25th, 2007

New User

hi all, i'm new to this site, but wanted some advice. i've been with my boyfriend for almost four years. things have been going great between us up until about six months ago. i feel like its all on my end of why things aren't going so well either. basically we had a fight and it was all my fault. i never cheated on him, but it was because i like this other guy. but i tried to get over it and my boyfriend wanted to give me a second chance. and we both agreed we need to change some things for it to work out. and he basically said he never wanted me to hurt him like that again because he doesn't think he could stand it.
so now a couple months after that happened i've started to see this guy i have a crush on again (at work, we kinda work together) and my feelings for him are coming back. but now its more then that, his parents are going through a really bad time right now and i'm not sure whats going to happen with that. my boyfriend is probably getting a new job which will be good for him because that would take some stress off of him. but when he gets stressed and cant' be in control of things he gets migraines. and i've had to deal with that since i've been with him. i just don't know what i want and i feel like with all this happening i'm not the same when we first started dating. i just want a change and to explore and figure things out.
i don't want to sound selfish, but i love him to death, but i don't want to have to deal with his family and their situation if anything more happens with the relationship.
any advice?? please?

Replies(3)

Birch

replied on April 25th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Hey, welcome to the forum!

I think you really need to ask yourself two questions, and be really sincere and honest answering them.

1. What do you want?

2. Why do you want that?

And this is just my reflection: your post came off as if you are itching to break up with boyfriend, and justifying this desire; while at the same time hoping to not come off sounding really superficial.

Just be honest with yourself and what you want. It won't do anyone any good to stick around under false premises. Plus, if you are eager to try something new, you may not be ready for a long term committment, and it''s better to figure this out sooner than later. I believe people who commit to marriage without getting this knocked out of their system are more likely to sow their wild oats later on.

Best of luck to you!! Keep posting and let us know how you are.

DPantelones

replied on April 26th, 2007

Experienced User

Well May you've made it pretty clear you're wanting out of that relationship...flirting with the new guy and all that, you've already made up your mind that it's pretty much over with the bf. Just be an adult and tell him how you're feeling and that you need some time and space to work things out, either you come back to him or you don't.

Just don't play games, make it a clean break when you're ready to make that final decision. Don't be fooling around with the other guy until you've made it clear to your b/f that it's over. Good luck!

princessnae

replied on April 27th, 2007

Experienced User

Don't Do Something You Will Regret..

What I mean is don't stay with the boyfriend if you aren't feeling it but feel guilty about ending it and start dating the new guy. You will regret cheating later. I understand where you are coming from.. But it really sounds like you don't have the same feelings for your boyfriend like you had before. It is normal for people to change.. but it sounds like you have grown apart.

And as for his family issues.. I don't want to be rude but you sound very insentive about it. In my opinion if your heart was really into your relationship then you would be there no matter what happens with his family.

It does sound like you are just trying to justify your decison but that you have already made up your mind. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself what it is you truely want... but I think you know the answer already..

Best of luck.. welcome to Eheath

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