Ive been pretty messed up with my eating
habits for over a year now.. and its just
getting worse. but what do you expect.
would a fasting/binging/purging cycle
cause me to be
-tired
-dizzy
-have shortness in breath (after going up
3 flights of stairs WALKING i can't
breath... its so weird)
-BAD anxiety problems
-not being able to pay attention
-losing interest in everything
-and i jump on everyone. they could say
the smallest thing and ROARR.. i go off on
them.
a lot of people say im not myself
anymore.. im just not happy.
is this like depression or just part of my
ed?
its so confusing. but im going to the
doctor this week to get some meds for my
anxiety or something. i can't take it. i
just dont want to get rid of my ed.
although i wish i could just praise my
body instead of hating it and just wanting
to kill it.
im 16, 5'3, and weigh around 107 right
now.
to me.. i'd rather be murdered because
thats just insanely high.
i know i need help but i cant bring myself
to it.
about 3 months ago i was so over the edge
i almost got help.. but i backed out and
didn't do it. but now my grades are
suffering like crazy.. and i dont mean to
brag or anything but i have a 4.6 GPA..
and its dropping rapidly and im still
trying. it's just the lack of interest
now.
anyone talking to me or posting back would
be appreciated. If you want to talk on
aim.. send me a pm or something. i just
need support because this is getting hard
to do on my own. especially hiding it.
my boyfriends mom is a freaking NURSE so
she can tell im up to something. she asked
him if i ate when we went out.. and he
said "Yeah i Suppose.." I went out to
brunch with his family for Easter a few
weeks ago and i did eat.. but i eat really
slow and dont eat THAT much so it probably
didnt look too good on my part.. but what
can i do. i just cant help it! He said
that he thinks she suspects the hatred i
have toward myself because it comes across
very noticable. It's that lack of self
confidence rising through. i hateeeee it.
thoughts, support.. anything greatly
appreciated. <3
sorry i havent posted in such a longgg
time.
just been busy.
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hawkeye69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 29 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 04-24-07 08:48am
It sounds like you have depression and
anxiety along with the eating disorder.
Keep your doctor appointment and get help.
Also admit the eating disorder. It won't
get any better if you don't get help now!
You have to learn to love yourself which
takes awhile with good therapy. Don't ruin
your grades and your future over this. I
work in a middle school and I have seen
this before. Being super skinny isn't
worth losing out on a terrific future.
Good luck on your appointment!
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-24-07 09:57am
Kayla,
you that killing yourself is not going to
bring yourself happiness nor satisfaction.
You won't be a better person for being
skinny. It's the opposite way: you'll be
checked up more frequently, get controlled
by lots of people - people you don't even
think that would imagine you suffer from
an ed -, you'll feel worse, you'll die.
Get help, yes, and leave your ed. You can
do it and you'll feel better.
Those sympthoms you described were much
alike what I was suffering from some
months ago.
Good luck, and give us some news
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Kayla343
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2006 Posts: 27 Location: ,
Posted: 04-24-07 17:52pm
Yes i know i dont gain anything from all
of this.. im just hoping that maybe ill
like myself better and find a new
confidence in myself when im skinnier.
but i went to the doctor today and he
prescribed me zoloft. we'll see how that
works and what that does to me. hopefully
it gives me some confidence and stuff.
the zoloft should help my depression as
well as my anxiety. ill keep you guys
posted though throughout the process :]
thanks for the support and concern
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-28-07 13:27pm
Kayla,
You're already skinny. If you didn't gain
confidence in yourself until now, getting
skinnier, why keep on doing this? Those
are clear signs that your body is asking
for help asap and that that is not the
way...
You must nourish yourself, treat yourself
right.
You'll find conficence in yourself in
other ways, really.
:*
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Kayla343
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2006 Posts: 27 Location: ,
Posted: 04-29-07 22:31pm
i just dont feel skinny. and when i look
at myself, im totally disgusted at what i
see.. i mean, when people laugh in
general, i think theyre laughing at how
fat i am and stuff. its crazy i know.. i
just cant help it.
i want to be happy the way i am, but its
just like impossible. im not at dangerous
weights or anything and i haven't purged
since last november. im alright.
|
v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-30-07 03:13am
Look, nothing is impossible!
And you are skinny already. You gotta
start believing in what people tell you..
:*
