Hi Georgi,
Yes, this can be a great place to download from the stressors of life. You will get a variety of replies and you remain anonymous throughout. If you connect with someone, private messaging is a choice. I have personally found Internet support sites to be an excellent resource to just let it all out. Just be discerning as to whom you take any particular advice from. Remember, we are all just human.

God bless...
Carol

Thank you. I have gotten alot support already and I have only joined this morning. I hope I meet new friends here.

Bingo , u have a finacee too? same here, lool
and i,m scared 2 death if he noticed the syptoms of depression on me, i keep sayin thats its just a bad mood. but i feel so weak inside recently

I either sleep all day or go days without sleeping. I think I said this before, but the stress of moving into my own home and bills and dealing with weight issues, it is starting to wear on me. I started cutting myself again and I even thought "All the bills would be gone for Steven (my fiance) if I just offed myself right now". That is sick. But please don't think of me as a freak. They are just thoughts. I wouldn't want to do that to my fiance and family.

as for the cutting, my fiance saw the ones i did about a month ago. he threatened to leave if i did it again, but he wouldn't do that. he cares too much for me and i am really lucky to have that. he trys to help out as much as he can. i don't want to worry him though. he has enough of that with his job. i shouldn't add to that.

cinderellaaa, how do you cope with having depression and a fiance? i really could use some advice.

Relationships are built on communication. The only thing you can do is be open and honest about what is going on. You need support and the person you love and who loves you should be the person to help you. If he truely loves you, as I'm sure he does, he will be very supportive and understanding. You may want to print out some information on it so that he is educated on the condition.

Remember that we are here for you too. If you ever need to talk or vent just feel post on here or pm me.

Are you on any antidepressants?

but its so hard 2 tell my fiancee that i,m depressed, the hours that i spent it with him i try 2 hide all the syptoms of depression, i try 2 draw a smile on my face even without a specific reason, of course i share him all my thoughts but i leave that dark part of me 4 myself.. cant tell him that i,m takin medicine, i usually take tranqulilzers when i meet him 2. 2 be nonstressed

yes. and welcome to eHealth.
feel free to ask or open up to us with whatever issue or problem that is on your mind. we all will do our best to help...there is no other reason for us to be on here than to help people out.

I know that it is hard. But he may be hurt by you not giving him the opportunity to help. I know my husband would be crushed if he thought that I couldn't go to him with *any* concern. I'm definitely not pushing you to do it. I just want you to concider reaching out and letting him in to this part of your life. It is much easier to deal with when you have someone there you know you can turn to for support.

If you don't feel that your antidepressants are working you should speak to your doctor. What works for some people will not always work for others. There may be another medication that would be better suited and help you better. That can make everything easier to deal with.

You can always come here with any problem/concern or just to vent.

NWKC, thank you for the welcome.
I am not on any antidepressants, but I have a drs appt tomorrow and I will talk to him about this. I am just hoping he doesn't want to ship me the hospital ASAP. I know my fiance would be supportive, its just that he sees me as this strong person who could handle anything and I don't want to let him down.

Everyone get depressed now and then. You should not be ashamed of being depressed. And if he finds out and then leaves you because of it, then he wasn't worth it. If you let your feelings come out you will feel better mentally and physcially. And there is no harm in talking to a therapist either. Talking to a stranger will help you get things into perspective. Good luck and if your bf loves you he will not care what is wrong with you.

They will not ship you off the the hospital. The only time they would do that is if you were suicidal or posed as a threat to someone else. It is important to be honest with your doctor. They will be able to help you best if they know everything that is going on. He will not judge you for your feelings so don't be embarrassed. Let us know how the appointment goes!

This definetly a good place to talk about how you feel and to be supported by others who have felt that same, however I think it is also important for you to seek out a therapist to talk to. Though alot of us here can give good advice that might be helpful, we don't always know the whole situation and sometimes we still haven't come to grips with handeling our problems ourselves. That is why it's important to talk to a licenced professional. To find out more information on therapy and where and how to find a therapist, you can go to http://goodtherapy.org . The website is run by a group of councelors and therapists who are devoted to helping and healing. I hope you that you find someone to talk to and begin the healing process soon. Never be afraid to discuss your feelings here either. If you ever want to talk, this is the place.

Peace to you -

Greta

Your fiance should know that having depression has nothing to do with you being weak. If anything, you are a stronger person because you have to deal with this every day. It is not something that you caused or chose.

In my opinion, he's going to find out eventually, you can't hide it forever. Perhaps seeking therapy as a couple so that you two could talk about it with someone who knows a lot and could help explain it to him so he understands?

Just a thought.

I have a little update. I am taking Xanax for my depression. My dr says he doesn't want me on anything stronger until I talk to a therapist. He is going to make an appt for me immediately, not only for the depression, but also for the ED and cutting. I told him everything and I think that was the hardest thing I have ever done. My fiance is behind me all the way. I also told a close friend about my problems and she had no idea what I was going through. She is also behind me. But my mom is in denial. I wish she could see that her daughter is not as strong as she taught me to be. I think she is thinking she is being blamed or going to get blamed for this, but I assured her that it had nothing to do with her. I will keep you guys posted on my progress, that's if you want to know.

Thank you for the support from all of you.

Georgi

Georgi,
That is good news! Just great!! You are much stronger than you give yourself credit. Depression is a chemical imbalance in our bodies and it takes a lot of courage to battle it everyday. I'm proud of you.

Xanax is a strong medication so be careful to only take it as prescribed. Does he have you taking it before going to bed? It's great that you have an appointment with a therapist. You will feel so much better, believe me.

Your Mother is probably having a hard time dealing just as you said. She brought up a strong daughter. I'm sure that she's hurting because her baby is hurting. She loves you. Mother and daughter relationships are very complicated. It took me 52 years before I finally "felt" love for my Mother. It feels so good.

Take one day at a time and please keep us posted. I will keep you in my prayers.

God bless...
Carol

so many things are thrown at us as human beings, but you can't let any of them get you down, or you're just going to be defeated

Good for you and I'm so glad that your fiance is understanding. I know that can be so important to have the people we love understand us and be there for us when we're going through rough times.

And remember, you are strong!! Depression has nothing to do with not being strong. It's a disease, just like any other disease, you have to be even stronger to live your day to day life than other people. Don't let anyone tell you different.

I hope therapy goes well for you.