Well, if this is causing you think to suicidal thoughts every morning then you should definitely seek help. While you're there you can also build confidence about your penis size.
I'm gonna say this for the tenth time, because it seems like I need to. 5" is average and it's not a big deal. Women are not going to dump you or leave in the middle of sex, because of your penis.
Find a woman to date, to actually build a caring relationship with. When it comes time to have sex you'll see she's not going to laugh, she's not going to judge and she's not going to tell all of their friends. There is more to life than sex and penis size. There is definitely more to a relationship than sex and penis size. It's about friendship, love, having someone to talk to, be there when they need someone, etc. And sex is really just an extension of that, it's a bonding moment that strengthens everything else. It's not just some physical act separate from everything else where two people are vulnerable and trying to get physical pleasure, while judging the other's body. It's the same when a relationship is first starting, it's just that the act is strengthening those feelings as opposed to bonding them(though it continues to strengthen).
Your penis is average and it's not going to affect your ability to give a woman pleasure. Unless she's in the small percent of women that only wants a man that is 8" or bigger, she's not going to have a problem with you. Also, those women who only want 8" or bigger have a small pool to choose from as only 2% of men are that big.
Also, there are many women who do not achieve orgasm through sexual intercourse anyway. So a lot of your efforts at pleasing a woman will be done by your hand, mouth, and voice. For those women that can achieve orgasm through penetration, it is still mostly done through clitoral stimulation. Your penis is not what is touching the clitoris, it's your pubic area (or even a finger). For those women who can achieve orgasm through g-spot stimulation, you're still good to go. The g-spot can be reached by fingers, and I've never seen anyone with 5" fingers, so you'd be able to reach it. For the rest of the vagina, most of the sensitivity is in the first few inches and not much past 4". A vagina is usually only 3-4" deep and only expands when sexually aroused.
Finally, you're feeling really self-conscious about something that you have no control over and you probably feel like you're the only one. How do you think women feel? They're self-conscious about their breast size, their nipple color, their labia and color, if they smell, is their butt too big, "will he think I'm sexy," "will I turn him on," etc, etc. So you're not the only one that is self-conscious at that moment. People have a tendency to judge themselves, much more than they judge others, yet think others judge them as much. And usually, the more self-conscious you are, the less you judge others, because you don't feel confident enough to judge. What I'm trying to say is, that you'll find you won't be judged because she judges herself more, AND her self-consciousness will make her judge you even less. The same will go for you towards her. And what happens is you both make each other feel good and feel accepted and not judged and relaxed, and voila, you're both having a good time and like each other.
So what do you have here...
- An average penis
- A desire to be bigger
- A mind, mouth and hands capable of bringing a woman pleasure
- A penis fully capable of bringing a woman pleasure
- The ability to make a woman feel comfortable
- The ability to make a woman fall in love with you
Seems to me like you've got a pretty good list there, other than a desire to be bigger. However, that's not something you can control, and women know that. It's also a desire that does not need to be fulfilled to achieve the other stuff on the list.
You're probably seeing penis size in a few ways.
1. 5" is a small penis and it cannot pleasure a woman.
Well, that's just not true. 5" is not small, and it can pleasure a woman. The clitoris isn't stimulated by the penis directly, and 5" is more than enough to stimulate the g-spot and the rest of the sensitive area of the vagina.
2. A man is less of a man if he doesn't have a big penis.
Well, I'm not even sure what makes a man. A deep voice? Muscles? Athletic ability? A Y-chromosome? I don't know. Scientifically speaking, probably the Y-chromosome. In your mind, penis size probably means something, but why? Is it how other men view you? Well, first of all when do they even see your penis. And second of all, you're average, chances are they're average, so there's not much to judge.
Is it how women will see you? Well, we've already covered that you can satisfy a woman, so no reason to worry there. But what do you think women want? A 7" penis attached to a body that can get into various positions and make thrusting movements? Well, you'd be wrong. They want companionship, love, understanding, someone to laugh with, someone to cry on, etc. I don't see how your penis affects any of that. Yes, sex is part of that, but we've already covered you're good to go in that area.
3. Society is obsessed with large penises.
I'm not sure if that's true completely, but it doesn't really matter anyway. Are you living for you and the people you love and love you, or are you living for society? It probably partially stems from pornography where all men have big dicks. But porn isn't realistic. Men do not all have big dicks, and not all women are blonde, hot, have huge tits, and orgasm through sex. I also don't think that pizza delivery boys are the Casanovas of our time.
If society is enamored with large penis, it doesn't matter because it's not realistic and it's not something you can change. You can't change for societal ideals and you can't live for society. You have to live for you and what you want. I imagine you want a woman. Well, you can have that. We may make up society, but as individuals we do not express society. A woman doesn't want a big penis, just because society does.
It's all just a joke anyway. How can society be something that it's not? What's the penis size you always hear about when someone says what they have or what they want? 8 inches, right? Well, only 2% of men have that or bigger. So 2% of men is what determines the societal ideal? It's only joked about, because it's easy to make fun, because it's such self-conscious area for men. The same goes for women and breast size. If you want to make fun of someone you don't talk about something they love about themselves, it just doesn't make sense.
An interesting note about society and it's pressures is that in Roman times, a large penis was laughed at. So I suppose if you lived in Rome, had a large penis and there was the internet, you'd come on worried about your large penis, heh.
I really wrote more than I expected, but I hope you can take something from it. I think you should just dive in, feel the fear, and go for it. Find a woman to date, or even just a casual thing to get over your fear. A woman for a real relationship would be better though. If you can't do that, than maybe you should seek professional help. Someone who can allay your worries and give you confidence.
Good luck.