Pregnancy Calendar Conception : When did I Conceive ? Forum - Am I the Father???????

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Q: Am I the Father???????

asked by: confused_guy on February 18th, 2004

New User

Hello everybody. I have a problem and I hope someone out there can help me. I am very analytical so I write everything down. Here is my story or chain of events:

september:
9/13/2003 - last known period

november:
11/12/03 – sexual intercourse with my ex-girlfriend
11/15/03 – spotting (approx. 5 days)

december:
12/10/03 – 3 positive pregnancy tests: urine
12/11/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test: urine
12/15/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test: urine
12/16/03 – 1st ultrasound: < 5w (nothing showed, ultrasound & pelvic)
12/22/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test: blood
12/26/03 – spotting (approx. 3 days)
12/31/03 – 2nd ultrasound: 6-7 w (visible sac, no measurements taken)

january:
01/06/04 – 3rd ultrasound: 7w4d – 13mm crl (official visit)

february:
02/06/04 – 4th ultrasound: 12w3d -5d – 58 mm crl
02/17/04 – 5th ultrasound: approx. 13w – 7 cm crl (official visit – no copies given)

here are my questions:
am I the father of this baby, because number don't add up?
How does the ultrasound machine measure the fetus?
How accurate is this? I.E. Margin of error.

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Replies(13)

hearenbaby8504

replied on February 19th, 2004

Experienced User

I Dunno

At the very beginning of my pregnancy I got 4 diffrent dates. The measurements are accurate, but the problem is the baby could stay the same size. This is what happened to me. I was told once that my due date was aug. 7th, now that I am 17 weeks and 3 days preggy they have said 3 times that the due date is july 25th. So as you see there is a two week diffrence. You wont be able to tell really, (size wise) till 4/5 months. Then you can figure when she got preggy. Do you not trust her?

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confused_guy

replied on February 19th, 2004

New User

Still Confused...

Thank you for your input hearenbaby8504. Let me rephrase some of the dates. The first ultrasound (12/16/03 – 1st ultrasound: < 5w (nothing showed, ultrasound & pelvic) ), this 5w is 5 weeks from pregnancy not conception) the doctor think that nov 15 was her lmp. The reason why I am asking is becaue i'm not sure whose the father, me or her current bf. If conception was on nov 12, that would put the first sonogram at 5w(of conception, and 7w of pregnancy). I understand that the first 12 weeks of the baby's development (conception) all embryos/fetus will grow at the same rate. Once after 12 weeks, the growth rate is dependent on the mother's nutional diet/exercise. Is this true?

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Amberlee123

replied on February 19th, 2004

Experienced User

No this is not neccesarily true, all pregnancies are different and things do happen that mother can't control. Sounds like you are just going to wait and get blood tests. With the dates you have down it looks like she became pregnant in october.

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purple333

replied on February 19th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Drs & dates can be so out. I was told that my son was conceived late april (but as my husband & I were sharing a room -while travelling in the usa with my mother & our almost 6 year old daughter we were quite certain that we had not & would not have had time or the immorality needed to conceive then!!) . Our possible dates were late march or 5th may - dr - specialist - said we were wrong - well while it's true our son was born one day before the due date as given by the dr - he was also what is termed "overcooked" very red with peeling skin s if he was sunburnt & over 9lb so we were told that he was obviously overdue!!!!!!

The only way to be sure whose child this is for everyone's sake (especially the child) is to ask for a paternity test. You should have to support your child but you should not have to support someone else's & the child has a right to know who it's real father is.

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hearenbaby8504

replied on February 19th, 2004

Experienced User

I Agree With Purple333

Hey, I just want to say I agree with ya purple333. Confused_guy, you have the right to know if you are the father. As does the baby to know its father. I think the paternity test is a must!!! I got a question though. Who does she think the father of the baby is?
About the 12 weeks it is the most critical time in baby development! During the first 12 weeks many great changes take place. There is a site that you can go to that shows you the development in every week. It is Pregnancyweekbyweek.Com I think that is it. If it is not go to keyword pregnany and then look up week by week. We are here to answer any questions to help ya out so if you have anymore or any concerns, or just want to know what its like, just ask.

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confused_guy

replied on February 20th, 2004

New User

Still Confused

Well, if the dr and dates are so out, please explain something to me, b/c i'm still confused. If I had sex with my ex on nov 12, and the development of the embryo/fetus are all the same in the first 12 weeks of conception, then why did we not see any thing on the sonogram on the 5th week of conception? She has sex with her current bf sometime after thanksgiving. Plus to add, her last known period was in september, I did not have sex with her in oct. I only had sex with her one time in november and none in dec. So can I still be the father? Thank you all.

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purple333

replied on February 20th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

No matter what tests you do, sonogram, blood, urine, whatever none are infallible!! Just like no form of protection is 100% safe not even vasectomy or tubes tied, well I guess with a total hysterectomy it would be safe to ssume yuo couldn't get pregnant!!!!

As to could you be the father: regardless of the ultrasound, the 5 positiive pregnancy tests 12/10-15 she was almost certainly pregnant then so yes you could be the father. As to whether the new b/f could also be - that would depend on exactly when they had sex??!! Also as women can ovulate at times other than mid-cycle(which is the norm) that would also make a difference. But overall at this stage I think i'd come down in favour of betting on you as the father.

Regardless though a paternity test is the only real way to be sure & for that you just have to wait!! Sorry.

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hearenbaby8504

replied on February 20th, 2004

Experienced User

When I had my first ultrasound I was 6 1/2 weeks preggy. The only thing we could see was a tiny thing that don't look nothing like a baby!! That was at 6 1/2 weeks, so at 5 it is very possible. Now on to the info about the ultrasound equipment, you have to have the best to see a really great pic of the baby, if you dont go to a place with high status or such, chances are she will be 10 weeks before she can really see a good pic of the baby. It will be a vaginal ultrasound of course to show such good pic. Did you say that she had both? If she did, is she really skinny? It all depends on the person, the equipment, and the instructions she was given. Hope this helped a little more.
Heather

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2ferano

replied on February 21st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I don't know much about all of these pregnancy things, but I do know one thing. I had a cyst on my ovary much larger than a fetus at five weeks, and the ultrasound did not show it the first three times! It all just depends. But, like purple said, just wait and get a paternity test. Doctors are hardly ever right with due dates and conception dates and such. You will just have to wait and see, sorry!

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Amberlee123

replied on February 21st, 2004

Experienced User

As I do agree just to be on the safe side there must be a paternity test,yet if her last period was sept. 13 and and you didnt have sex with her until nov. 12 then it really doesnt sound like your the father. But our bodies do play tricks on us sometimes. Who does she think the father is?

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confused_guy

replied on February 21st, 2004

New User

Sorry Still Confused

She thinks her current bf is the father. They had sex after thanksgivng, nov 29. And how accurate are these ultrasounds, b/c everybody is saying one thing or another. And I have to add that if the baby is mine, she will abort it and if the baby is her bf, she'll keep it. Right now she's at week 13-16. So can anybody help me.

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hearenbaby8504

replied on February 21st, 2004

Experienced User

I Am Trying

Hello confused guy its heather again. Listen these ultrasounds are accurate as if a baby is there or not. Now when it comes to date, they are not as accurate, it depends on the goodness of the machine. Also they really suck when it comes to twins or not so ya see they really are not as accurate as people think. When people go to ultrasounds they see one and don't even realize there is 2 till later down the line. I hope in someway I am helping.
As for the mother of the baby, I believe she is to far along to have the abortion which is not nice anyways, no offense to my girls. What I mean is to kill the baby just because it is yours and not her b/f's thats her fault not the innocent little baby's fault. I think if I was you I would just back off and let it rest for a little while till she gets further and they find out some firm dates, etc. Then when they come and you still think its yours try to get her to realize that you want to be apart of the baby's life.
Heather

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purple333

replied on February 22nd, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Given your statement that she'd abort if it's yours - what would/do you want?

1) do you want to be a dad?
2) are you ready to be a dad?
3) once the baby is born are there laws where you live which would give you the right to demand/get a court order for a paternity test?
4) do you want to be a part of the baby's life?
5) because if she has it & then finds out it is yours she could :
- decide she wants it (even if only to stop you having it!)
- decide to have it adopted
- require as much & more than you can afford in child support & be a real health forum about giving you access
- say since it's yours either you raise it or she has it adopted or taken into state care.
6) so use this time to give some long hard thought to what you want for you & what you feel you would want for the baby, if it is yours.

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