I’ve been in an exclusive relationship
with my girlfriend for over a year. We
were comparing old relationships, and she
indicated that I was the shortest guy that
she has ever been with. I’m only
5’5”, she is a few inches taller than
me, and I’m not uncomfortable with that
situation. However, the conversation
turned to penis size, and she indicated
that he last boyfriend was much larger.
This was very painful to hear! She
reassured me that she loves me, my size is
fine, and would not trade anyone for me. I
truly believe what she said, and I’m
grateful for her love. But, I can’t help
but be concerned that she wishes that I
were larger. I’ve never been too
concerned as I’m within the normal
average of around 6”, but since our
conversation I’ve become very
preoccupied with my penis size. After
spending way too much time thinking about
it, I realize that she has a preference to
be on top, and this compounds my concern.
That is, I think that she prefers to be on
top to get maximum penetration from my
comparatively smaller penis. This has
become such a problem for me that I have
totally withdrawn from her sexually. We
used to have a very active sex life, but I
have been avoiding sex with her for the
past few weeks. Yes, she has noticed, and
it is starting to cause other problems in
our relationship.
Now, I’ve read a great deal that
indicates that many women are not very
concerned about penis size, and that
technique and being in a caring
relationship is more important. I
understand that, but just how much more
sexually exciting is it to have
intercourse with a large man? I know that
my girlfriend would never say anything to
deliberately hurt me, and she would never
admit to wishing that I were larger. I
would do anything to make her more
satisfied, but this is something that I
cannot change! I need an unbiased opinion
about moving from a partner with a large
penis to one with an average penis. Not
with respect to love, but just sex. Not
with respect to technique, but just with
respect to penis size.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 04-18-07 09:49am
wow,dude,your trying to fix something that
is not broken.there was no problem until
the cnoversation and obviously she is
satisfied with you. being about 6" is not
bad.I've had biggeryes,but bigfger is not
always better.your not small and your not
big.I think you need to stop obsessiong
over things like that.as you can see,you
being like that all of a sudden is ruining
your relationship and for
what?nothing.there is nothign wrong with
you size and obviously she doesn't
care.and who cares if she gets on top for
more penetration?Lots of women including
myself like to be on top and if your with
a big guy,that hurts! your looking at
everything the wrong way!
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 04-18-07 10:07am
I agree with Mel, 6" is a good, great
size. If she weren't happy with you then
she wouldn't be with you. Trust me, if
the sex isn't good ladies don't hang
around. you are fine.....
here is a chart i found.....you are very
average in your size
If you obsess about your size you may
start failing in sexual department. Yes
we like/love being on top but not always
because of the max penetration. a lot of
wemon like being on top because they can
control the penetration, if you were much
larger (unless her cooch is very large) it
would hurt her to take anymore than 6.
You are making a big deal over something
that isn't. and it's going to end up
ruining your relationship because it seems
like you are obsessing over the little
things (pardon the pun) and not seeing the
big picture. who cares if her last
boyfriend was larger? she is with
you...and your going to end up ruining
that.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 04-18-07 10:27am
Sunflower_pie81
wrote:
I agree with Mel, 6" is a
good, great size. If she weren't happy
with you then she wouldn't be with you.
Trust me, if the sex isn't good ladies
don't hang around. you are fine.....
here is a chart i found.....you are very
average in your size
If you obsess about your size you may
start failing in sexual department. Yes
we like/love being on top but not always
because of the max penetration. a lot of
wemon like being on top because they can
control the penetration, if you were much
larger (unless her cooch is very large) it
would hurt her to take anymore than 6.
You are making a big deal over something
that isn't. and it's going to end up
ruining your relationship because it seems
like you are obsessing over the little
things (pardon the pun) and not seeing the
big picture. who cares if her last
boyfriend was
*claps hands* well said!
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 04-18-07 10:56am
I agree with the others. You're worried
about something that isn't even a problem
to begin with. Like Sunflower said, some
women (not all) like to be on top, but
it's actually usually for other reasons
than thinking their partner is too small.
I have had different partners, and in my
opinion, it isn't really a big deal at
all, even when you don't factor in love or
emotions of any kind.
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tooshort
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 04-18-07 11:44am
Thanks for the input! I’ve tried
discussing this with my girlfriend, but
she REALLY does not want to discuss penis
size. Her reluctance to talk has only
added to my fears. I'm afraid that she is
simply protecting my feelings.
I realize that I’m average, and that
size is not everything. But, with the
premium that is placed on size, it must
have some impact on sexual satisfaction?
My fear is that she became accustomed to
the larger size of her pervious boyfriend.
Granted it has been over a year, and I
hope that she has become accustomed to my
smaller size. But, I’m afraid that I can
never satisfy her the way his larger penis
was able to both physically and
psychologically. I know that she loves me,
and enjoys sex with me, but the idea that
I’m lacking in this aspect is very
painful. I want to be everything for her.
So, from a woman’s perspective, just how
much difference does it make on sexual
satisfaction to move from a partner with
an above average sized penis to one with
just an average penis? Would introducing
above average toys help compensate for the
change? Beyond the physical aspect, is it
possible to minimize the psychological
impact?
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 04-18-07 11:46am
it's been over a year? I can garontee
that she has forgotten what it felt like
to be with him. you are making something
a big deal when it's not....and you need
to stop preasuring her to talk to you
about it. she doesnt' want to talk about
her exs with you and you need to
stop....it doesn't mean that she liked it
any more than you
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 04-18-07 13:49pm
tooshort
wrote:
Thanks for the input! I’ve
tried discussing this with my girlfriend,
but she REALLY does not want to discuss
penis size. Her reluctance to talk has
only added to my fears. I'm afraid that
she is simply protecting my
feelings.
I think a reason for that
is not to avoid hurting your feelings,its
more that she might feel your making a
bigger deal out of it than it is and
doesn't think it needs to be talked about
tooshort
wrote:
I realize that I’m
average, and that size is not everything.
But, with the premium that is placed on
size, it must have some impact on sexual
satisfaction?
Well just to let you
know,if your worried abouther getting off
during sex,most women can't get off on
that alone.Most have to have oral
stimulation!
tooshort
wrote:
My fear is that she became
accustomed to the larger size of her
pervious boyfriend. Granted it has been
over a year, and I hope that she has
become accustomed to my smaller size. But,
I’m afraid that I can never satisfy her
the way his larger penis was able to both
physically and
psychologically.
honsetly,psychologically
its nothing unless your like 4 inches and
our not.no girl really thinks about her
man having a small one,expecially when he
really is average.And like I said
earlier,bigger is not always better.I've
had a guy who was 9in long and a guy who
was 6 1/2.the 6 1/2 was better because it
was less painful to ride him.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 04-18-07 14:33pm
Maybe she does not want to talk about it
because she is sick of talking about it.
If you keep asking her about it, she just
might get sick of the subject in general.
It doesn't necessarily have anything to do
with your penis.
I have had a few partners, and honestly, I
don't notice a difference. Most women
orgasm from clitoral stimulation and only
have those sensitive nerve endings within
just the first couple of inches of the
vagina. So length really isn't that
important because most women aren't going
to feel it anyway, unless the man is so
long that he hits the cervix, which hurts
for most women.
Your average woman would be more likely to
feel size differences when it comes to how
big around the penis is, rather than how
long it is. But even a penis that is big
around isn't what every girl wants, and it
isn't going to guarantee an orgasm.
Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal.
When I am with someone, I don't lie there
thinking about past lovers.
You could always look into counseling too.
If you are really preoccupied with this,
even though she and many other women have
indicated that there isn't even a problem
there, and if it is taking its toll on
your relationship, there's no harm in
talking to a therapist about it to help
you deal with it and boost your
confidence.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 04-20-07 11:39am
In my experience, bigger is not better,
it's painful. I hate all of these
porn-like ideals of a man's penis. Would
you really want something the size of
texas shoved inside of you?? It is not
pleasant.
And I like to be on top, too, but it has
nothing to do with size. I just orgasm
easier that way because I can control the
speed and such, and make sure my man isn't
done before me : )
Honestly, as long as you aren't abnormally
small (which it sounds like you aren't)
there is no problem.
