the Affair!

Melissa. I know your pain it hurt worst than anything in this life. Having someone you thought would never cheat on you betray you is just awful.. But some times the reason people cheat can change and the relationship even be better.
I don't think in every case " once a cheater always a cheater" I think men and women grow apart and look for what they had in another person. Some find out it was wrong and go back and the relationship grows back to what it was. That relationship can survive.
I don't believe you can ever fully trust again.

I don't think I could keep on going with a man that hurt me that bad. But I all so said I would never stay with a man that cheated and I did. But it hurts so bad I don't think I couild go through it another time..
I'm sorry for your pain!!

Did she want to try and make it work?

and now you are remarried and have a child?? Happy?

ditto. . .

don't you wish they could just keep it in their effin pants?my god. . .but I would definetly not be able to stay with someone I knew was activly cheating. . .

my mother cheated on my father and she ended it when she confessed. she thought it was still ok to talk to him on the phone and hang out,which was totally inapropriate.she blamed the fsmily pretty much that we were putting so much stress on her and a lot of probles bertween her and my father.Imo,tht was *not* the way to handle it.I asw it coming and I was so angry at her for it when she did it. . .I felt like she cheated my whole family. . .what made it worse was that they both worked a tthe same place I did and everyone knew,because someone followed them after they left work one day and caught them in the act.I was mortified.and I am over it but talking about it just maked me think how disgusted I was. . .

what about you meblonde?

yes I was cheated on too. After being with my H for 20 years, we had grown apart. I was more concerned with home and job then I was with him and his needs anymore. I thought we where stable and we would always be just fine. I always said I would never stay with a man that cheated on me.. H found a girl at work giving him all kinds of attention and wanting to do things with him I use to do. So he took up with her, for 2 weeks I thought I was going to die! I did not beg him back I just told him how I felt and let him do his thing while all the time I was dieing inside. He Cried every time he came over for anything and after awhile he realized me loved me and could not be without me and that me made a Big mistake. I forgave him. I felt I was to blame for some of it. I'm not saying that gave him a reason to cheat, But to tell you the truth, I would have cheated on me too. That was just over a year ago. We are loving and caring toward each other and we do everything together again. He tells me over and over he does not know how he could ever hurt me like he did. I feel very loved.. BUT if he ever did it again.. I would not go through the pain.. To he honest it would not hurt as bad the next time.. So out the door he goes!!

Word of advice. Stay close to what you where when you first met. Because when it leaves is when another person can move in and replace you.. I know that sound hard because we all change, but believe me there is a lot of truth in it. People don’t look on the other side for greener grass if the grass stays green and doesn’t turn brown

me too,if I ever found he did it again,it would be a lot easier.I never could figure out why.maybe because I always have my guard up or I still had some pride left in me and didn't want to be hurt again. . .

Your advise is great,and i also try to follow the same thing!

I figure is you are a good wife. suporrting, loving and caring, If he does it again there is no guilt on your behalf. I'm not saying being a mouse or wall flower. Just be yourself, but stay focused on a good relationship and all the nice them that go along with it.