when you talk to
the child, try to take him or her back,
with your words, to the time before the
incident/s took place, convincing the
child that they should wait to be an adult
to do adult things…..To wait, and not to
let their childhood be stolen from them
(they should reclaim or recapture
it)...That childhood is not a time to be
an adult [it's a training period to learn
by growing, with adult examples, but not
everything is to be tried yet; like not
flying a plane until you're a trained
pilot]; a childhood free from the miseries
that most "adults" got themselves into, or
were forced on them. Tell the child to
"rebel" against going too fast past their
personal speed limit, and enjoy simply
being a child in an innocence of their own
imaginative creation that actually becomes
real…..Try to recapture their childhood by
the picture you paint with your words,
taking them to a real land they should
inhabit before becoming an adult! Read
the phantom tollbooth [by norton juster]
to them, so that they can learn ‘figures
of speech’, how to use their imagination,
and how to recapture "rhyme & reason"
in their lives; and, read the apostle
paul's letters to them from the good news
bible [best translation for
'understanding'], 13 letters-romans thru
philemon, because the lord's spiritual
words can heal any "injury"
my best to you &
yours…….Captain church
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 02-19-04 13:37pm
If you had been or had dealt with or had
had a child who had been abused you would
know that their childhood is taken away by
the abuse & telling them not to go too
fast into adulthood, not to try everything
yet is abusive in itself - you are telling
the child that it's their fault it
happened after all if they hadn't rushed
or tried to rush into adulthood etc then
it wouldn't have happened.
You need to stayaway from anyone who has
been abused be they adult or child. I for
one think you would cause so much
additional damage that you might as well
just go straight to it & abuse them
outright, actually that would probably be
kinder.
And yes, I have training & experience
from all sides of the fence.
|
CaptainChurch
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Stevens Point, WI
Purple 333 Posted: 02-19-04 20:07pm
No I am not, you misread the post....Be
more careful next time and see what the
meaning is before you to jump to
conclusions! After the fact, you show
them they don't need to "act out" what was
done to them when their childhood was
stolen and they were rocketed into adult
things...No one said it was their fault,
except you! Can't anybody read anymore
what is there, instead of what they
'think" is there?
|
Guest
Guest
?? Posted: 02-19-04 21:37pm
Iam sorry but I don't get what the 1st
post was??
No one can take away the abuse I lived
threw as a child and as an adult threw
words.No one can put words in place of it.
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 02-19-04 23:04pm
I don't suppose (given your total lack of
comprehension & your seeming total
lack of empathy - look it up) that you
stopped to consider for even a momewnt
that either a) your post was not clear,
hence my response? Or b) you might be
wrong - again hence my response???
However in the interests of communication
& given that I am capable of
misinterpreting I have just er-read your
post twice & you never refer to
talking to the abused person when they are
an adult only of doing so when they are a
child & how would yu be sure the abuse
had stopped or even that it existed since
many children do not tell until much
later.
Also you talk about talking to the child
about not rushing into adulthood etc - you
really just do not get it do you?? When
they are still children talking to them in
the way you are suggesting would simply
increase tenfold their guilt, their belief
(taught to them by the abuser) that it was
& remains their fault.
When dealing with an abused child, the
first things you need to do are:
1) ensure they are ok medically
2) gain over time (often years) their
trust by giving them - love
-total sometimes painful honesty
- trust them
3) repeatedly show them that it was not
their fault, they did nothing wrong at any
time, the abuser was the one who did the
wrong & that needs to include letting
them know that it was ok to tell what was
happening
4) help them learn not to fear everyone
will do the same
5) help them to seek & gain (from
counselling & support groups) mental
& emotional healing. This can also be
through a church, but it must first &
foremost be what suits the child not what
suits you or me.
So I repeat until you learn through having
been there & having to live with it
for the rest of your life &/or your
child's life stay away, the harm you do
could be fatal.
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 02-21-04 06:57am
Yeah, and if a child has already been
abused, obviously they have already dealt
with what you refer to as "an adult"
problem. What you are suggesting would
only make them block it out or act like it
wasn't really a big deal. Which in the
long run would only cause more problems.
when you talk to
the child, try to take him or her back,
with your words, to the time before the
incident/s took place, convincing the
child that they should wait to be an adult
to do adult things…..To wait, and not to
let their childhood be stolen from them
(they should reclaim or recapture
it)...That childhood is not a time to be
an adult [it's a training period to learn
by growing, with adult examples, but not
everything is to be tried yet; like not
flying a plane until you're a trained
pilot]; a childhood free from the miseries
that most "adults" got themselves into, or
were forced on them. Tell the child to
"rebel" against going too fast past their
personal speed limit, and enjoy simply
being a child in an innocence of their own
imaginative creation that actually becomes
real…..Try to recapture their childhood by
the picture you paint with your words,
taking them to a real land they should
inhabit before becoming an adult! Read
the phantom tollbooth [by norton juster]
to them, so that they can learn ‘figures
of speech’, how to use their imagination,
and how to recapture "rhyme & reason"
in their lives; and, read the apostle
paul's letters to them from the good news
bible [best translation for
'understanding'], 13 letters-romans thru
philemon, because the lord's spiritual
words can heal any "injury" 
my best 
to you &
yours…….Captain church
