hi there! I have been wondering about this same issue lately. i am 26 and married, but my husband and i love to party and don't plan on ever having childre (just so you know that kids aren't an issue in this). we both made good money at jobs we like, save a lot or pay off student loans of mine, and don't ever blow money on clothes, shoes, and other crap we don't need. like i said we live simply but we do like to party. my husband (who is 31) has been smoking week for a very long time, probably 12 or 13 years and i am totally cool with that. i don't smoke much weed, but i don't care if he wants to spend money on that. our big problem is mostly ecstasy... we can't even keep it in the house for more than a couple days, and at one point were doing so much of it that we had to make a rule that we will do it no more than every 3 months (of course special occasions don't count.... weddings, vacations, birthdays, etc.). I did coke only once in high school, and was so drunk and didn't know what to expect that i don't even remember feeling anything from it. plus it was probably crap.

sorry for rambling, just wanted to get the back story out there so we can talk and you'll know where I'm coming from. Anyway, coke is pretty new to me, but it is AMAZING how much I want it now. My friend and I each bought a half ounce from my sister's boyfriend who is a dealer and we do each other favors so we get it pretty cheap and it's good caca ($500 for a half ounce.... where I live that's pretty health forum' price-wise). Anyway, we got it about two weeks ago, did a bunch of it that night, and I just assumed we could get together to party once in a while and it would last a long time. My friend is having me keep it and ration out small amounts to her because she used to use it alot and said if it stays at her place it won't be around for long. But I am starting to wonder just how trustworthy I am.

Ever since that first night two weeks ago, I have used every single day. I have a beautiful silver necklace that conventiently has a spoon and holder as the pendant, and no one knows the difference. So for the past two weeks, I have done probably between 4 and 8 lines a day.... I don't know how much that gram-wise cause we don't own a scale. My husband has done a couple with me, twice when we were alone and one other time when my friend was over. I am starting to wonder if it is possible to be addicted to this caca after just two weeks. I mean, in my life I have been a heavy drinker for about 8 years, smoked cigs for a total of about 5, done X a LOT (every single weekend of my senior year of high school and halfway through my fresh year at college i did about 3 rolls a weekend until i started dating this really straight-edge loser). In any case, as I am currently high (of course) I am rambling again.

SOOOOO - it comes down to this. Do you think I am an addict???? I read your post and to me (I am a psych nurse who deal with drug addiction all the time but can't be objective with myself, what hypocrite I am!!) I think you probably have a psychological addiction to it.... knowing its there if you want it makes you happy, and it's sort of like most guys (and girls) over 25 who like to go home a couple times a week and drink a bit or go get wasted every weekend. To me that is much more destructive than using coke 3 or times a week like you are doing. I would classify yours as recreational use with psychological dependance. YOu could give it up if you wanted to, if your life depended on it you could drop it (albeit not happily i'm sure).

Do you think I am addicted to this stuff?? I actually wore my necklace on the unit at work the other day and snuffed little bits from the spoon whenever i felt tired or down or anxious, and i tell you what, it helped enormously. it's just that I feel like i need it all the time, i sleep okay but if i go a whole day without it, i will make up an excuse about not being tired to come out to the living room to snort some lines. The other day I was cutting up a line in a pillbox in the parking lot at the grocery store! Am I wrong or is this bordering on a problem??? I could try giving it up completely, but if i don't give it up completely and do it when it's around, i will just fall back into this and want more and more and more. What do you think, from one coke-lover and user to another. Thanks for your advice and for reading this looooooooong post. peace. *edie*

It can get to be a pretty expensive hobby that is for sure. My own son spent thousands of dollars. But, had no trouble at all stopping. He even has a deveated septum from it that is pretty large. Nice hole. So, in my opinion, I think the jury is still out on this subject. I still think it is quitable with will power.

Carrie

I had same questions like that. One way I understood better was making limits for myself. I would tell myself "okay, i'm only going to do 3 lines today"
I was very tempted while I was on it, but declined the offer for another line.

Try saying that. Tell yourself to only do a certain limit that is a bit less than what you usually do, and see if you can stay true to that limit.