You say that you don’t know what people want from you anymore but do you know what you want from the people around you. If some people have hurt you in the past it doesn’t mean that all people are bad and want to harm you. It might help you to consider that you don’t need to understand your existence, but only accept it. It seems also that you're struggling with a few very severe neurotic disorders and plus alcohol abuse. Support from family and friends can be replaced by help from your doctor. If you refuse your doctor’s help, you will probably begin to self-isolate because that is the only help you can get from the outside. Although your doctor is not responsible for your condition , s/he is doing everything to help you. Your conditions are not easy to be cured even for a mental health professional. Give yourself a promise that you will try to stop hating the world around you and that life is worth to living.