Medical Abortion Forum - Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices?

ebarnhard33

replied on April 4th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

You might want to post this in the abortion forum...

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Kia

replied on April 4th, 2007

Moderator

Please keep posts about abortion in the relevant forum and not the pregnancy forums - thanks

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Tyrohvirgel

replied on April 4th, 2007

New User

thanks ebarn...im still very new here

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Tylanas

replied on April 4th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices?

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

Currently my girl friend is highly considering abortion. I love her so much and I know and always knew (even before the pregnancy) that she is my soul mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes this decision to kill the baby our relationship will be hurt. I want nothing more than for her to have the baby. Does anyone know any good reading on this subject that I can check out at the library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm looking for all the help I can get.

First, an abortion is her choice, not yours.

WHy do you want her to have this baby so badly? Are you going to marry her? Are you going to be there every single day to feed the baby at 3 am when she is tired? Will you help raise this baby until it is 18, and then help pay for his/her college stint? You need to think about all of these things. I hate it when boyfriends push their girlfriends to give birth, and then abandon them when the going gets tough. It happens way more often than you think.

Secondly, you have to consider her feelings about being pregnant and about the birthing process. It is extremely uncomfortable to be pregnant, and exceedingly painful to give birth.

Are you simply against abortion? If so, perhaps you can convince her to giv the baby up for adoption, if neither of you are in the financial position to raise the child.

And that's another thing: Money, housing, food. Can you supply these things, you and her together? Diapers are expensive and you go through them very fast.

Just think about these things before you try to convince your girlfriend to do something she clearly doesn't want to do.

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jenn_smithson

replied on April 4th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices?

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

Currently my girl friend is highly considering abortion. I love her so much and I know and always knew (even before the pregnancy) that she is my soul mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes this decision to kill the baby our relationship will be hurt. I want nothing more than for her to have the baby. Does anyone know any good reading on this subject that I can check out at the library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm looking for all the help I can get.

My husband and I chose an abortion and we couldn't be more close. It was a rough time but it was the best decision for all of us. Our relationship actually became much stronger because we were able to honestly talk to one another about our future together - what we both wanted, when we wanted it, our fears, our hopes, etc. We had always assumed that the other wanted to have children after graduating from college but after talking about it, we realized that we actually want to wait much longer than that.

This is a good time for you to talk, honestly, and to actually listen to your girlfriend about where you see yourself and where you see the relationship in the future. Good communication, while difficult and sometimes uncomfortable, only makes the relationship stronger.

There's a workbook that your girlfriend and you can go through together. Make sure you type it into your browser or search engine all in lower case.
http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnant. htm

In the end, this is her decision to make and you shouldn't try to force her to make one decision over another. You should support her even if that means biting your tongue and helping her through the abortion. She doesn't need a lecture or a sermon right now, she just needs someone to lean on.
Best of luck!
Peace,
Jenn

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kim00

replied on April 5th, 2007

New User

I would like to commend you on wanting to take responsibility. If only there were more men like you in the world today. It is no hidden fact that sex makes babies, even with taking precautions. I know I’m going to be criticized up and down for making this statement. But this man deserves an applause.

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Kypros

replied on April 5th, 2007

Experienced User

And his partner shouldn't be applauded for also wanting to take responsibilty?

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kim00

replied on April 5th, 2007

New User

In my opinion, aborting is not taking responsibility, it’s copping out. If she’s unable to parent, adopt the baby out.

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Birch

replied on April 5th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

kim00 wrote:

In my opinion, aborting is not taking responsibility, it’s copping out. If she’s unable to parent, adopt the baby out.

Your comments are best left on the debate forum, where they will be properly torn to pieces for lack of logic.

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Birch

replied on April 5th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices?

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

Currently my girl friend is highly considering abortion. I love her so much and I know and always knew (even before the pregnancy) that she is my soul mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes this decision to kill the baby our relationship will be hurt. I want nothing more than for her to have the baby. Does anyone know any good reading on this subject that I can check out at the library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm looking for all the help I can get.

http://www.womensmedcenter.com/faqs/studen tresources.asp

This claims to be an unbiased source for information.

As far as print media, I have no idea. Do an amazon.com search, see if anything pops up, and then go to your local library to try to find it.

Good luck, and remember, the only people who can hurt your relationship is you and her. If she makes a decision you don't agree with, you have to either reconcile that or leave.

Women have the majority of child raising responsibility. Therefore, while your input is valuable, she gets the final say.

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jenn_smithson

replied on April 5th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

kim00 wrote:

I would like to commend you on wanting to take responsibility. If only there were more men like you in the world today. It is no hidden fact that sex makes babies, even with taking precautions. I know I’m going to be criticized up and down for making this statement. But this man deserves an applause.

I would like to commend your girlfriend for coming to a difficult decision and looking realistically at her life and resources to make the most responsible decision possible. If only there were more .women who looked realistically at their lives when faced with an unintended pregnancy and didn't approach pregnancy and child raising with so much reckless abandon and romantic nonsense, there would be happier .women and better cared for and loved children in the world today. It is no hidden fact that sex can lead to pregnancy, even with taking precautions, and therefore an abortion is a last resort when those precautions fail you. I know I'm going to be criticized up and down for making this statement. But this .woman deserves a standing ovation!

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Tylanas

replied on April 5th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

kim00 wrote:

I would like to commend you on wanting to take responsibility. If only there were more men like you in the world today. It is no hidden fact that sex makes babies, even with taking precautions. I know I’m going to be criticized up and down for making this statement. But this man deserves an applause.

This post doesn't belong on this forum. This is the abortion support forum, not the anti-abortion forum.

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Kypros

replied on April 6th, 2007

Experienced User

kim00 wrote:

In my opinion, aborting is not taking responsibility, it’s copping out. If she’s unable to parent, adopt the baby out.

Well, according to your logic, if abortion isn't taking responsibility, then neither is adoption, since both result in the pregnant individual failing to be a parent.

Abortion and adoption are both, in fact, responsible actions, because they take care of a situation in which the woman does not wish to be found (pregnancy, motherhood).

Tyrohvirgel, my advice to you is to consider why your partner wants to have an abortion. Surely her reasons are well-grounded and for what she considers to be for the best. Gently discuss your feelings with her and what you would prefer as the father of this potential baby, although try to be clear that you will support her whatever her final choice happens to be. If you are personally against abortion but simultaneously acknowledge that parenthood isn't desirable right now, then you could see how your girlfriend feels about adoption, although don't be too forceful in the way you come across. It may even be worthwhile writing a list of the pros and cons of keeping and aborting the baby. Abortion may be the most humane thing to do if you are not in a sound psychological and/or financial state to raise a child.

I understand it must be very hard for a male who wants to keep the baby when his partner doesn't, but please respect the fact that it is your partner's body and your partner's choice, when it comes to the crunch.

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Tyrohvirgel

replied on April 9th, 2007

New User

i just found out she lost the baby

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Tylanas

replied on April 9th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

i just found out she lost the baby

Well, this does happen fairly often in pregnancies under 20 weeks. That's why many mothers are told not to announce the pregnancy until after that date.

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Tyrohvirgel

replied on April 9th, 2007

New User

don't worry only our parents know. and you guys

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Kypros

replied on April 10th, 2007

Experienced User

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

i just found out she lost the baby

Condolensces. I'm sorry to hear that.

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jenn_smithson

replied on April 13th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

You need to encourage her to see her doctor in about two or three weeks to make sure the miscarriage was successful. Also, if she should have unbearable pains, fills a pad in an hour or less, or starts running a fever, she needs to see a doctor as soon as you possibly can. Tell her to stay healthy!
Peace,
Jenn

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