I experience feelings similar to this. I commute a lot, in my car mainly, and when anyone is behind me I try to get away from them. I think they'll ram into my car, or do something crazy. When I'm walking/jogging (trying to be healthy, just started) I freak out because I think people are staring at my disgusting body (even though I'm not deformed, overweight - im just average joe i guess). Not to mention that the park I go to to walk around - it's about a half hour away from where I live because I refuse to go to the park 2 min away from my house because I DO NOT want to see anyone i know. When it comes down to seeing ppl I already know, I go WAY out of my way to get away. I don't like the main roads anywhere, i take all back roads to and from work and school.

Idk.. I think it's a mixture of a hectic atmosphere, feeling like im not understood, a superficial relationship with my parents, and everything else negative that comes my way that other people have to deal with on a regular basis.

But, my boyfriend notices me - when I'm sitting regularly, I sit all tensed up - i never sit still - always worry - and if i have a brief moment to sit and think alone, i somehow end up crying to myself from negative thinking that doesn't ever seem to go away.

I'm sorry if this doesn't help. :-/

I was raised by a mother who is afraid of everything. If she hears sirens outside she will call everyone in the family to make sure we weren't in a serious accident. She has so many fears that she always made me fearful. I know what you're going through because I had a difficult time because of the fear she instilled in me. I take medication for anxiety but when my kids started driving I had to put an end to the fearful thoughts or I thought I would just go out of my mind worrying about them. My psychologist told me that everytime I started to think about something negative to quickly put it out of my mind and think of something positive. I thought, yeah right, easier said than done but it does work. I take a deep breath and quickly change my thoughts. I do take Vistaril for it and Xanax on occasion but i've really trained my mind to stop thinking the horrible thoughts. Next time someone is walking past you that looks scary, and you think they are going to pull out a knife, just try to revert your thoughts to something else, smile and say hi to the individual, you'll find that most people are really nice and not as violent as your mind wants you to think they are. It's all just a mind game and you have to take control. I hope this helps.