Getting Pregnant Forum - You Know What angers Me Off...

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Q: You Know What angers Me Off...

asked by: monkeygirl22 on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

People at work that think they know how I should live my life. I am 22, almost 23 years old, and as you all know my dh and I are ttc. We just had that early miscarriage too. I was telling some girls at work about it and one of them just blurted out. I think you should just not try and finish school first, on and on and on. I really get pissed at people that think they should try to tell me how to live my life. The only people that say these things to me are people that have reasons to regret getting pregnant so early. This particular girl just got divorced last year. She is so anti love right now that she just can't believe that someone should trust their husband enough to have a kid before school is over with. Another girl who is bad about this is one who got pregnant at 18 when she moved in with her boyfriend. They did get married and she had two more children with them but she is still hell bent on telling me that she knows what's best. I understand that it will be harder to finish school after I have a child but I know this is the right time. I have prayed about this for so long. I am going to finish school. I wouldn't have spent all this money if I wasn't planning on it. Actually, I only plan to take one semester off for when we have our baby. I don't know. I just needed to vent.

Replies(19)

mc4ever02

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I'm sorry that people think they have the right to *know* what is best for you. I think that you have a great plan. Allot of people try to get pregnant while still in school and go on to raise wonderful child(ren) and finish school. I think it may be harder if it were unplanned. But you have a plan and you know what is best for you. ( Something that no one else knows! ) That is just possibly the most selfish, insensitive thing I have heard of someone saying to someone. Even more so considering that you just experienced a loss that they are aware of.

If it makes you feel any better I know how it feels. I am 20 and a newlywed. Evidently that means that I am to young and have not experience enough of the world to be in a position to plan a pregnancy. Well they can all kiss my butt. I have a plan, we are financial and emotionally stable. We have been together for almost 5 years. When I told my mom, she said " I am so excited, if you need any advice or just an ear let me know!" That was all I needed. If my mom doesn't have a problem I don't know how anyone else could.

Hugs!

negar

replied on March 26th, 2007

Experienced User

Ladies

As far as I am concerned, there are lots of ignorant individuals that have so much lack of confidance and control over theri lifes and decisions, they tell you how to live your life to make themselfs feel better. Nobody but you can decide on what is best for you. I think you two are smart to begin a family now. If I knew all that I know now at your age, I would have done exactly the same. Next time someone tells you how to live your life, think twice about who it's coming from. Unfortunately, there are also many insensitive people around.
There are also good people, and so just focus on them Smile

monkeygirl22

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Thanks guys!

MC-I know just what you mean. My husband and I have been together for five years as well. We have only been married for one year but I don't see that as a bad thing. It's not like we are little kids trying to keep our boyfriends. We are adults that have planned things out. We prevented the entire time we had sex until we knew we were ready. Heck we double prevented. I was on bcp and he wouldn't do anything without a condom. On top of that, he pulled out even though we used condoms. We knew when we were not ready for a baby. We could have handled but we knew it was best to wait. I know that now more than ever is the best time for us. They can all just kiss my butt too.

Negar- I have tried to explain myself to so many people but I am just not going to do it anymore. I shouldn't have to do so. I really don't care what any of them say. They aren't true friends if they can't be supportive.

mc4ever02

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Exactly! We used both the pill and condoms until we decided that we would be thrilled if it did happen. Then we just used the pill. Then I went on some medicine that would have been detrimental to a pregnancy. So we went back to using both. Now we have decided that we want a child now. So we are using nothing. I just wonder were all these people were when we were being so responsible. No one ever told me, wow how mature...your making the right choices. Stay on that birth control! So why do they care now? Sorry...that kinda tuned into a vent. Laughing

And I also agree with the point of us not being children trying to keep our significant others. My husband wants this just as much as I do. It is something that he is ready for (he will be 27 next month). Yet no one has said anything negative to him. Maybe they don't understand that *I* will be the one he is planning to have a child with. Rolling Eyes

monkeygirl22

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I totally feel your vent. My dh will be 25 in about a month. We are both well old enough to handle this. How long have you guys been married?

mc4ever02

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Six months in a couple weeks. We were together for 2 years before we got engaged. And we were engaged for 2 years before we got married. It was definitely not something that we rushed into. He is the love of my life. I am very fortunate to have him in my life.

Have you already celebrated your first anniversary or is it coming up?

monkeygirl22

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Our first is in a little over a month, May 6th. He turns 25 the day after. We will be in gulf shores at the beach on our anniversary. Yeah...I can't wait!

mc4ever02

replied on March 26th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

That sounds great! Nothing beats a few days of fun in the sun!! Congrats on the one year! He better get you something good!

Volaremos

replied on March 26th, 2007

Experienced User

monkeygirl22 wrote:

Our first is in a little over a month, May 6th. He turns 25 the day after. We will be in gulf shores at the beach on our anniversary. Yeah...I can't wait!

Wow sounds exciting, Well girl enjoy every bit of it. May be your anniversay DH birth day is going to bring a big big suprise. Well i hope so & pray for it too.

Try to forget about those annoying ppl, who has done nothing right in their life but still try to tell others how to live.

Hopeing & praying for a BFP for you soon. HUGS

*star*

replied on March 27th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

monkeygirl22 wrote:

Our first is in a little over a month, May 6th. He turns 25 the day after. We will be in gulf shores at the beach on our anniversary. Yeah...I can't wait!

That's awesome, our 1st anniversary is in less than a month. Hopefully it will be your lucky month like vol said while you are away.

People have a habit of sticking their noses in places where they do not belong. I also agree with negar that sometimes people are more concerned with other peoples problems and issues than their own, because they want to take the focus off of themselves. They don't want to have to look in the mirror and face their own reality. It's sad really, but you will always run into those kind of poeple.

I don't think you are too young. Personally I wanted to be married with children at 25. Well that didn't happen. I was in no shape, physically and emotionally to have children at 25. I didn't even get married until I was 28. Now we are finally ready to settle down and have a family. I wish I would have settled myself down earlier, but better late than never. Better to get them grown while you are young.

DLosGirl82

replied on March 27th, 2007

New User

Ya know, my friend and I were just talking about this earlier today...Both of us (we are both 25) are in the process of ttc, and we have not one, but several coworkers who just cannot seem to get that we are adults and that we are perfectly capable of making adult decisions. I can't tell you how many times since I've been open about wanting a baby I've been told "But you're sooo young" or "Enjoy your life first, then have kids". I actually feel like I will truly begin to enjoy my life when I have a family of my own! And 25 really isn't that young...its definitely not too young to have a child. I've come to the realization that people are going to say what they're going to say...You just have to stay strong and remind yourself that they are not the ones entitled to making the decision for you. If you and your hubby are ready for a baby then by all means, girly, keep trying! Very Happy

shortgeek

replied on March 27th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

I agree with you all.

mg - you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone, no matter what their past experiences were. You are ready to have a baby when you believe you can offer that child love, support, and a happy home. People get to that point at different points in their life.

I've known plenty of people who had babies while still in school. Most during graduate school, but still in school. I think the stigma is very different for women than for men. When a woman has a baby right before comps, others say that she is crazy and she won't be able to handle it. When a man has a baby right before comps, others say they hope he can get out of the house for some peace and quiet. I think the subtle difference is the assumption that a man only has to turn his back and he's unaffected, but a woman is taking on too much to be a mom and a student at the same time.

BTW, my second anniversary is May 7th. My birthday is the following week, too. I warned my husband about getting married so close to Mother's Day. It will always be hard to make reservations for an anniversary dinner on the weekend around our anniversary.

mc4ever02

replied on March 28th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

shortgeek wrote:

BTW, my second anniversary is May 7th. My birthday is the following week, too. I warned my husband about getting married so close to Mother's Day. It will always be hard to make reservations for an anniversary dinner on the weekend around our anniversary.

Did you tell him that you just want one *really* good present for all the occations. Or do you want seperate gifts for each. That's a tough one. But I think I would want something for each Laughing

shortgeek

replied on March 28th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

I said we had to do something different for each, but not that he had to get me something different for each.

mc4ever02

replied on March 29th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

That's kinda what I meant. To me we normally celebrate by going to dinner and a movie or show. Thats my gift. I get to pick Laughing

shortgeek

replied on March 29th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

I just don't want him to eventually get lazy and use the proximity of the dates to combine them all into one. I'd like each acknowledged separately even if I don't get separate gifts.

megums1211

replied on April 3rd, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

My husband and I just had our first and I'm only 20. People said the exact same things to me but I am so glad I had Brianne now b/c I have time to wait between kids. Like, I want to have my next one when I'm 23, and the one after that 26, and maybe a 4th at 29. If I had waited until I was older, I'd be well into my 30's before I was finished having kids. All I can say is... Don't let someone else tell you what is best for your family. I knew that it was time for my dh and I to have kids and I didn't listen to anyone when they told me otherwise. Now, I have a beautiful 4 1/2 mth old and life couldn't be better! Smile

I'm so glad I didn't listen.

Volaremos

replied on April 3rd, 2007

Experienced User

I wish if only i have decided to have a baby early, I am due in Nov so i would be nearly 27 when i have my first. I am so praying for a happy & healthy baby.

littlesqueaks

replied on April 3rd, 2007

Experienced User

I am 31 single mom of two boys been divorced for 4 years and I am in my second year of college. I regret not going to school right out of high school but I made that choice myself. It can be done (having kids and going to school) Your mind is set on it you will get it done and enjoy the blessing of parenthood!!! You have had the strength to endure what you have had to go through so far you will have the strength to accomplish anything.

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