My husband and I have been married for only 8 months but I am really beginning to wonder about the nature of our relationship. What do you think?

He has a horrible temper and it seems like the slightest annoyance can send him into a rage. He doesn't break things or hit me (he's never hurt me) but he slams things and curses -- usually says "f**k!" really loud. When we first started dating I saw him do this every once in a while and it didn't bother me. However, now it happens at least 10 or 12 times a day -- the tv is too loud, the light won't come on, his computer won't re-start, and etc. I hate the fact that everything bothers him because I can't say anything while he's still pissed -- then I get snapped at or, I am to blame for whatever it is. He just rants and I watch him....a dozen times a day.

He snaps at me in public, micro-manages what I do -- my god, I am 28 and he tries to tell me how to wash dishes -- and he doesn't even wash them! He is never satisfied with my housework, where I put things, how I arrange things, my choice in sheets, how I set the table. It's gotten to the point where I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop -- "What did I do wrong now?"

The snapping at me in public thing is really humiliating. When he apologizes it usually ends with "but I was really annoyed about that fat guy who grosses me out because he can't get the f**k out of my way." This is a sweet guy, or used to be! Why does he become this evil guy when he's angry? He lacks compassion and ugh, i'm rambling.

My biggest concern is that I walk on egg shells around him. We can be having a lovely day, as long as it's on his terms. If I, or if anyone or anything else stands between him and his way, look out. you're in for a crappy day. Then, once I'm beaten down, he apologizes and cracks jokes as though he didn't just embarrass me, or hurt me, or make fun of me. Ironically, he is always angry at me before he wrongly assumes that I am laughing at him or making fun of him (which I am not -- and if I do, it's lovingly, like friends do -- like we used to) or, my favorite, "telling him what to do." yeah right!

i've read up on abuse and it seems that while he could be a candidate for an emotional abuser, he's not possessive or physically abusive and he seems to lack the manipulative quality most emotional abusers carry. He is very honest and doesn't manipulate me to do things that he wants. He just makes it totally unbearable if I don't do things his way. (ha, is that manipulation?) Oh, and that includes going to a marriage counselor. In fact, he's made it clear that he will NEVER go to a marriage counselor because he knows that "you guys will just gang up on me." I'm very confused. Any suggestions?