I know this is long, but I wanted to be detailed so you guys could sort of understand my mindset right now. Ok, anyone who has read my other post (In Love But Shes Taken And I Can't Get Over Her) will know the backstory behind this, but in a nutshell, been in love with this girl for over a year, but shes always been taken.

Well, a lot of stuff's happened in the last couple of weeks. Her boyfriend dumped her out of the blue, and since she didn't seem that upset I called her pretty much immediately. She knows I really like her and I told her how much I wanted to be with her. She said that she really couldn't have a boyfriend right now, she just wanted to date around and have fun. I understood this point of view, and she said that we could still go on a date.

The rest of that week she called me everyday, and we went out Saturday. It went along smoothly if uneventfully for a while, but when we were driving to my house she suddenly starts holding my hand and stroking my arm, and before I knew it we were cuddling on my bed with a movie on and then we were kissing. It was my first kiss and it was with the girl I had been in love with for a long time. I was thrilled.

We went out again that Monday for pretty much the whole day after school. Again, it was amazing. We had great conversation and chemisty, and more kissing, cuddling and hand holding. It really felt like we were a couple. She came on strong, but in a very romantic and affectionate way. But the whole time she was still sticking with her "no boyfriend" story. It was still a fantastic day and I though that our time together might have changed her mind. This was almost three weeks ago.

But since then things got really shitty. She has been really busy and we haven't been able to hang out at all. There was a time when I became quite frantic about the whole thing, because I couldn't get her on the phone either. While she later clarified that she wasn't avoiding me on purpose, we were barely in contact at all. I kept trying to make plans to hang out with her, but nothing worked out. Finally I became desperate just for the chance to talk with her alone about where we stood, but I never got that chance either. I finally got the chance to talk to her on the phone, she said that she just couldn't date me right now, but there was a lot of potential in the future (we are going to the same college). I was bummed, but satisfied.

Well since then, things have gotten worse. I thought I would be able to handle waiting for a while, but I can't. Its only been a week and I think about her constantly. Its gotten to the point where I can't really be myself around her anymore. We still talk on the phone a few times a week, but I barely ever see her at school and when I do there is so much tension, and we still havent hung out again outside of school. On top of that, her ex has been asking for her back, and shes also been talking to her OTHER ex as well. While I don't think she will get back with either, it makes me that much more down about the whole thing. Whats worse is that I have to play it off like I don't feel the way I do when I talk to her or see her. But I'm at breaking point.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about her. I know the fact that she was my first kiss and everything is part of it, but I feel more strongly about her now than I ever have. The fact that she has two exes sniffing around just makes it worse. The stress is getting to be unbearable, I can't concentrate at school and I haven't been myself lately at all. Its almost like the fact that she is single now makes it worse than when she was taken. I understand that she wants to wait, but who knows how long that will be, and what could happen during that time?

I don't know how much longer I can take this. I really want to tell her how happy it would make me to date her and how depressed I am now, but I don't want her to feel guilty. But at the same time, don't my feelings count for anything? Especially since she was the one that came on so strong? Help! I need advice.