Everyone keeps saying I'm ill, but I'm not
sure if I am. Admittedly I find life
unusually hard compared to others and
apparently I experience things other
people don't, I think they're lying truth
be told.
I hear voices without owners and have done
since I was 8 years old, so over 11 years
now, I'm 19. Though either I'm special and
God like or everyone's lying to me and
they can hear them too or hear voices of
their own. But I think everyone just
pretends not to hear them, after all they
do exist as I certainly didn't create
them.
I also 'hallucinate'. I see things that
aren't quite real, melting walls, rooms of
fire, rivers of purple lava. No one else
is bothered by them, so perhaps only I can
see them. Still they're damn real so why
peoeple say they're part of my imagination
is stupid. Yesterday I was shot by one of
my old psychiatrist's snipers, in the arm,
it really hurt and blood gushed
everywhere, that was definately real. But
fortunately it healed quickly though my
arm still hurts.
My old psychiatrist is the main reason for
my problems, she has cameras everywhere
and microphones, usually hidden in places
like plug sockets and cracks in the wall
and light fittings. She's also in control
of the news stations and tries to deliver
messages through them though I try not to
notice, I certainly don't want to be
brainwashed and become a robot. All the
students in my college are robots,
somewhat scary really. So I no longer go
to college very often.
I've been to hospital a few times, and I
did think perhaps there was something
wrong with me, after all no one else used
to try and cut their leg off because of
the maggots. But now I realise it's all
lies. My doctor, my psychiatrist (not the
evil one) and my psychologist all say I'm
ill with a psychotic affliction of some
kind or dissociative phenomena, posibly
schizophrenia, but they won't say.
All this time from when I was 15 I've been
pumped with a coctail of drugs to try and
combat this supposed illness, but the
drugs don't work so there is obviously no
illness in the first place. I'm currently
on a low dose of aripiprizole (sp?) to
test for side effects. I think it's just a
placebo as nothing's happened, not that I
need medication. Though now my
psychiatrist has resigned and my
psychologist retired, convenient eh? So
I'll never find out what they were
thinking until I get new ones which won't
be for a while.
So I'm brought here, to people who know
about these illnesses or experience them
themselves, with a queston; I've given a
brief snapshot of me, now would you say
I'm 'ill'? ie psychotic, dellusional,
paranoid, dissociating, all those words
that have been applied to me in the past
or am I perfectly fine like I think and
everyone else is wrong?
|
Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-20-07 13:25pm
It's pretty clear you have hallucinations.
Hearing voices is common in schizophrenia,
as is the fear that you are being watched
or listened to (microphones implanted,
messages, etc.). Also, schizophrenics
often don't believe that anything's wrong
with them. The trick with medication is
that different medicine works on different
people, and you often have to try a few to
find the right one. So your doctors
haven't found the right one yet, or they
haven't done a good job. You might want to
keep trying different medicines until you
stop seeing strange things. Life might be
easier then.
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Posted: 03-23-07 03:54am
I understand. If you think your crazy
your not. Dont F#$%^& beleive what
people say. Trust in your self that you
are worth being in this world. Count your
blessing (the good things you have in
life) & love life and your self.
Sorry that said easier than done.
And take your meds every day or talk to
your Doctor
OR GET A NEW DOCTOR! (I take psych meds
too)
|
LuNaTiX
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jun 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 06-04-07 14:01pm
Sometimes YOUR reality becomes twisted to
the extent where you can not differentiate
between what is real and what is not.
While I had my psychotic episode, I was
sooooo sure of so many things, I had alot
figured out in my mind about energy, the
forces of the universe, colors, and all
kinds of symbols ment something to me, and
it became my reality.
Now I am on Zyprexa, and let me tell you,
it was worth taking. My reality is back to
normal and things that I thought were real
(perhaps were... but) don't seem logical
anymore. I would say im 95% back to
normal, which is real good concidering my
doctor said I would never be able to live
a normal life ever again.
What I'm trying to say is trust your
doctors, they are there to help, and they
know what they are doing most of the time.
Talk to your doctor about zyprexa, it
worked for me, perhaps it will work for
you.
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1666 Location: ,
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-04-07 15:02pm
You clearly have mental issues and need to
seek treatment, there is nothing else to
say.
|
mkor4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 21
Re: They Say I'm Ill..... Posted: 06-13-07 13:00pm
Have you had ct,mri and pet scans?Also
blood tests.Have any of the medications
helped at all?If you've been taking
different medications since you were 15
and nothing has worked then the doctors
should really be investigating to see if
theres any organic causes to the
hallucinations etc because thats not
'normal' to have them.They should be
investigating to see if you have possible
brain tumor,epilepsy,brain infection,lyme
disease,herpes
encephelitis,lupus,klein-levin
syndrome,porphyria,wolframs disease,avm.
I thinking asking for a first priority
referral to see a professor may be
helpful.
OrganicTwiglet
wrote:
Everyone keeps saying I'm
ill, but I'm not sure if I am. Admittedly
I find life unusually hard compared to
others and apparently I experience things
other people don't, I think they're lying
truth be told.
I hear voices without owners and have done
since I was 8 years old, so over 11 years
now, I'm 19. Though either I'm special and
God like or everyone's lying to me and
they can hear them too or hear voices of
their own. But I think everyone just
pretends not to hear them, after all they
do exist as I certainly didn't create
them.
I also 'hallucinate'. I see things that
aren't quite real, melting walls, rooms of
fire, rivers of purple lava. No one else
is bothered by them, so perhaps only I can
see them. Still they're bless real so why
peoeple say they're part of my imagination
is stupid. Yesterday I was shot by one of
my old psychiatrist's snipers, in the arm,
it really hurt and blood gushed
everywhere, that was definately real. But
fortunately it healed quickly though my
arm still hurts.
My old psychiatrist is the main reason for
my problems, she has cameras everywhere
and microphones, usually hidden in places
like plug sockets and cracks in the wall
and light fittings. She's also in control
of the news stations and tries to deliver
messages through them though I try not to
notice, I certainly don't want to be
brainwashed and become a robot. All the
students in my college are robots,
somewhat scary really. So I no longer go
to college very often.
I've been to hospital a few times, and I
did think perhaps there was something
wrong with me, after all no one else used
to try and cut their leg off because of
the maggots. But now I realise it's all
lies. My doctor, my psychiatrist (not the
evil one) and my psychologist all say I'm
ill with a psychotic affliction of some
kind or dissociative phenomena, posibly
schizophrenia, but they won't say.
All this time from when I was 15 I've been
pumped with a coctail of drugs to try and
combat this supposed illness, but the
drugs don't work so there is obviously no
illness in the first place. I'm currently
on a low dose of aripiprizole (sp?) to
test for side effects. I think it's just a
placebo as nothing's happened, not that I
need medication. Though now my
psychiatrist has resigned and my
psychologist retired, convenient eh? So
I'll never find out what they were
thinking until I get new ones which won't
be for a while.
So I'm brought here, to people who know
about these illnesses or experience them
themselves, with a queston; I've given a
brief snapshot of me, now would you say
I'm 'ill'? ie psychotic, dellusional,
paranoid, dissociating, all those words
that have been applied to me in the past
or am I perfectly fine like I think and
everyone else is
wrong?
or talk to
your Doctor 
