If you're having sex with each other for the first time, why not have fun doing other things until you get a bit more used to each others bodies and you're a little less nervous? There's lots of other fun to be had so why not start this evening off just playing around until you maybe feel psychologically ready for it later on, whether that is tonight or another time - you might even come during that playtime anyway so masturbating earlier wouldn't be necessary. I'm sure that if this girl has invited you to her house she is interested in you enough to want more than just immediate penetration, in fact women often require a great deal more time to warm up for sex than men, so why not oblige? It is the best way for you to form a bond, explore each others' bodies and become comfortable with each other. It will be fun and will relieve the pressure on you while you both enjoy it - everyone's a winner.

Its not the first time we have sex, I've been wit her a couple of other times. I still dont feel at ease with her because I cant last long and that makes me feel like crap afterwards, not being able to satisfy her. On the other hand all the other times we had sex, I didnt last long either, so she proabably put two and two together and realized that I have a problem...

Oh and I never cum before during foreplay, its not like that, I just cant last while penetrating her.
Im beginning to think its all phsycological...the problem is in my head, maybe I get too turned on...I know for one thing that my erections are rock hard, maybe its too sensitive to pleasure.
This is so confusing

If you don't ever come during foreplay and ejaculate quickly after penetration it does sound like there's a mental barrier in your head to do with sex. I think that from listening to you, the pressure is coming mostly from you (has any of the girls this has been a problem with ever complained?) as you talk about how you feel afterwards - this is bound to be the dominant feeling that you're left with next time you're about to have sex. It's a difficult one, but if you really like this girl, maybe you should talk to her about it - it might really help if she made you feel more at ease about everything. If talking to her doesn't work, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Men think they should be able to put in pornstar performances with any woman any time, but we also have to feel aroused and comfortable to enjoy sex - if you're not comfortable with someone it's very hard not to be anxious.

One of my ex's once complained about it not lasting long and it pissed me off bigtime, I felt like such a tool for not being able to last longer. I do put alot of pressure on myself cause I sorta have to prove to myself that I can satisfy a woman, its the only thing that will make me feel like a man at this point in my life. I know this adds to the pressure of the situation but I cant help it. I dont really have feelings for her as I dont know her too well. Maybe Ill just face my fear head on and medical question the rest.

I think sleeping with someone you don't have real feelings and trust for when you are in your position re PE could be more damaging than anything else. Your language about having to 'prove something to yourself' is exactly the way I used to sound when I was suffering from a similar problem - as is often said, the brain is the most sensitive sexual organ you have. My advice to you; only way you're going to get over feeling like that is to wait and work it out with somebody you really trust and care about - get to know this girl and see if you can trust her like that. Anything else will just multiply your feelings of inferiority as you fail (completely understandably may I add) to live up to the pressure you put yourself under. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk some more.

Thanks for your help, despite not having feelings for her, im gonna go to her house and try to have fun, Like I said I have something to prove to myself and I dont want to wait till I find someone I really care about, that could be a while. Ill focus on setting the right mood and hopefully my mind and body will follow.
Again , thanks for talking it out with me.

No probs. As I said, PM me if you want to talk some more.

One last thing - don't go there with the mindset of proving something to yourself - it won't happen if you do. Pressure comes from within.

I agree with woods. Even if you don't have feelings for this girl, if you are sleeping with her, you should probably feel comfortable enough with her to be honest. It's only a big deal if you two make a big deal. If she is aware of the situation, at least she won't sit there wondering. She might even be able to come up with some ideas to help get around it a bit. Also, if you could be open and honest with her about it, then that might be a bit of a load off your mind.

Many men believe they suffer from premature ejaculation when in reality, they possess perfectly average staying power. It might surprise some men to learn that the bulk of males can only last somewhere in the region of 15 minutes during fairly rigorous intercourse. Of course there are exceptions, given that there are lots of variables (such as intensity of sex), but most men aren't nearly as premature as they might think.

I dont know where you got that from, but most reading Ive done stated that up that up to 40% of males from 18-35 suffer from premature ejaclation and 15 minutes is not premature, try 2-4 minutes or less.

They didn't say 15 minutes was premature, they said that 15 minutes was average.

Thanks for that info, wow I feel as if my PE problem is solved.

It's not just the length of the sex. Sometimes I can control myself to stop or slow down when I feel the orgasm is coming, so I can do it longer, but my woman will lose interest in sex if I do that a lot.

Well the thing is, if your girl is getting bored, then you're either taking too long (quite the opposite of pe!) or you're not paying enough attention to her needs.

Those who say 15 minutes is average are 'showing off'.
Studies are more at an average of 5 minutes! And this is the average about all over the world!

Masturbating before you get together with her is the optimal solution (at least in my case). I was able to maintain a constant erection for over 2 hours (intercourse, handjob, blowjobs and other fooling around) when i masturbated 2-3 hours before we ended up in bed.Highly recommended. The ammount of control over one's self is amazing.

That, or COMPLETELY relaxing your muscles when you ejaculate the first time so the orgasm is much less intense but the erection doesnt die.


1st option is the best one though