Is it possible to have a sort-of memory of something traumatic that happened when you were 3 or maybe 4 and suppress it your entire life then suddenly start remembering it?
I have a feeling something like this may have happened to me. I've always had this really weird memory of lying on the floor without my panties on at my aunt and uncle's house when I was 3 or 4 years old. This morning, I woke up at 4 in the morning and I was somewhere between sleep and wake and I started thinking about this memory and suddenly I could remember my uncle touching me inappropriately and that it was day and that I had been dropped off there while my mom ran errands with my grandparents.
Thinking about it was so upsetting, I had a panic attack while lying in bed, and then I just started crying and crying and woke up my husband and asked him to hold me. It was a relief to remember, almost, like it was something I'd tried to hold back my entire life. I'd always questioned that something happened with this uncle (he always creeped me out, thank God my aunt divorced him when I was still in grade school), and in fact, I'm relieved now that I remember and that I know it didn't go further than inappropriate touching, which is enough.
I called my mom today to ask her if it was even possible, if my sister & I had ever been left there during the day while we were young and she said yes, that he'd always creeped her out too, so she made sure my aunt was there and that we never spent the night, but I have a feeling when this happened, my aunt was out of the room, maybe in the kitchen cooking, doing laundry, in the bathroom or something.
I'm not 100% positive that it happened, but in my heart, I feel it did, and I think the hard part is past--the remembering and now I just have to deal with it.
It gives me some answers to things that could lie beneath my depression as well as the anorexia I dealt with while in college.
But it's so weird...could a memory like that be mostly buried for years and years (I'm 29 years old now) and then just suddenly resurface? I was in therapy for years looking for answers and never found anything and then all of a sudden, I remember something?
