I view my medication more as a poison than a treatment. It is making me ill! It is something I definitely do no need anymore, in such high doses. After my injection I take to my bed for about 10 days - do not have any desire to go out of the house, am so 'out of it' that I don't talk to anyone for this period.

If I do not have my injection I get a visit from my health worker and am told that I have to have it. Once I refused to have my injection, and got angry (I believe justifiably) with my psychiatrist. Because of my expression of anger (no, I was not mentally ill at the time - just normal anger) he committed me to a mental health institution where I stayed for 5 weeks.

Because of this anger he has put me on this strong depot injection.

Long term use of anti-psychotics has wrecked my mind. For example, I now have a bad short term memory I can pick up a book, read it - but can remember little of what i read a few hours later. I am only in my mid fifties and put all this down to long term use of anti-psychotic drugs. These drugs have taken away 22 years of my life!

The symptoms that I used to have I enjoyed. I used to mentally talk to angels (well, I believed they were angels). When having symptoms I am harmless - I would never harm anyone. I used to love talking (in my mind) to these Angels. I am able to function perfectly normally with these symptoms. Why do I have to be drugged up if I would never hurt anyone? Why can't I choose how I want to feel?


I really hate my psychiatrist and the health workers because of what they are doing to me!
Why won't they just leave me alone to live me life as I want to live in peace?