Ending a Relationship Forum - Should I Still Try to Reconcile And Leave Or Move On?
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Should I Still Try to Reconcile And Leave Or Move On?

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nettech

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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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Should I Still Try to Reconcile And Leave Or Move On?
Posted: 03-15-07 22:39pm

Long story short... G/f of 2+ yrs and i moved recently to new city. I left three weeks later to go to work. She calls week after and tells me to stay out for a few months and she wants to break-up. I come home thinking she is cheating on me. Don't think she was now, she just needed time to think.
Now, she has hooked up with another guy that let her stay at his house since I've been home. That was four to five weeks ago.

Did I blow any chance of reconciling with her by coming home?

Do you think it is too late to reconcile, since she is already with someone else?
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DPantelones

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Posted: 03-16-07 10:52am

Well I hate to be the one to say this to you, but I think she's spelled things out pretty well.

What you need to do is realize this isn't the end of the world and move on with your life. Yes it will be hard, yes it hurts to lose her, but remember; she's not worth your time, energy and love anyway, because SHE made a choice...

Even when she comes crawling back, never forget what she did to you and DO NOT take her back. Don't even have sex with her if she begs for it, no matter what.

It's gut check time. Time to see what kind of man you are...
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nettech

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Posted: 03-16-07 12:06pm

That is what i've been told by everyone. I guess I just never realized how selfish a person she was until now. I do not think she meant to do me like this but that doesn't really matter now does it?
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DPantelones

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Posted: 03-16-07 12:07pm

Believe me man, I feel for you...I never thought my wife was capable of pulling some of the caca she's pulled either, but it happens to the best of us. Just man up and get on with your life, don't let yourself mourn too much because that hag sure isn't! Anytime you want to talk, lemme know!
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nettech

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Posted: 03-16-07 12:17pm

Well here is my next question. We acquired a lot of things during our 2 = years living together. I have given her most of it in an effort to get her out of my life, but now she wants more and I am not willing to give in.
We agreed I would keep the bed but now she wants that too. I've told her "enough is enough" but this is getting sick. I've not wanted to involve law enforcement in this but damn the woman is sucking blood.
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DPantelones

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Posted: 03-16-07 12:20pm

nettech wrote:
Well here is my next question. We acquired a lot of things during our 2 = years living together. I have given her most of it in an effort to get her out of my life, but now she wants more and I am not willing to give in.
We agreed I would keep the bed but now she wants that too. I've told her "enough is enough" but this is getting sick. I've not wanted to involve law enforcement in this but damn the woman is sucking blood.


You're not married, hell posession is 9/10th's of the law right? Screw her, tell her it's not up for negotiation and she's not getting poo! I'm just saying.....

Why would you have to call the cops? Has she threatened you or something? Or breaking in? I would call them in those cases, but if she's just hassling you, be the bigger person and ignore her.
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nettech

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
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Posted: 03-16-07 13:07pm

Well, the only reason to involve law enforcement is cause she has shown up at my door every weekend uninvited, demanding to get things and she just calls and calls all day. It plays havoc on my emotions and I don't want to run out, chasing her off screaming "beat it BXXXX!".

At this point, I know the relationship is over and I need time away from her. I'm in a new city, no family for 800 miles, trying to meet people, coming off a fairly emotional and financially devastating loss. Which doubles the hurt and pain. She has a new man and friends that are his, which angers me off(even As I type right now, which means I shouldn't have even typed it).

Good thing is I'm working out and jogging regularly. Finding the right job keeps me busy and out of the bars. So, things are looking up. I've met a couple of people who try to keep my mind off her, but for now I think it is important for me to focus on myself and what I want, and to spend time getting used to being alone. I've considered going to some support groups but I don't know if that would be proactive, in my stage of recovery. I don't want to be around a bunch of people still stuck on their ex's after 6 months and whining.

Like I said, she is dragging this out, like she enjoys the torture and I am done with allowing her to do that. But I still have times of weakness and forums like this help me vent
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DPantelones

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Posted: 03-19-07 11:20am

People in breakups can be cruel and it's too bad she's putting you through that crap, but you have to do like you said, look after you and try not to get too down.

Just kill her with kindness when she calls or visits. Let her see that you're moving past her, just smile and talk nice, be polite, ask her how she's doing and all that. Agree with whatever she says but don't give her anything, just say "Oh no, I can't see that happening right now, sorry" or something.

Don't go trying to get into a relationship right away, you'll be doing yourself and the new interest a disfavor...just like you said, work on healing yourself, have some fun, go get hammered with some friends if you want to...call family, talk/email, confide in someone you feel close to.

Most of all, just know that she isn't worth the hurt she's caused you, and you'll heal and be the better person in the end.
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DPantelones

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Posted: 03-19-07 11:20am

People in breakups can be cruel and it's too bad she's putting you through that crap, but you have to do like you said, look after you and try not to get too down.

Just kill her with kindness when she calls or visits. Let her see that you're moving past her, just smile and talk nice, be polite, ask her how she's doing and all that. Agree with whatever she says but don't give her anything, just say "Oh no, I can't see that happening right now, sorry" or something.

Don't go trying to get into a relationship right away, you'll be doing yourself and the new interest a disfavor...just like you said, work on healing yourself, have some fun, go get hammered with some friends if you want to...call family, talk/email, confide in someone you feel close to.

Most of all, just know that she isn't worth the hurt she's caused you, and you'll heal and be the better person in the end.
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Sunflower_pie81

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Joined: 17 Jan 2006
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Location: to hell with this crap

Posted: 03-19-07 14:08pm

she left the house and abandonment means that she didn't want it. Get the locks changed and stop taking her phonecalls stop seeing her.
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