Should I Still Try to Reconcile And Leave Or Move On? Posted: 03-15-07 22:39pm
Long story short... G/f of 2+ yrs and i
moved recently to new city. I left three
weeks later to go to work. She calls week
after and tells me to stay out for a few
months and she wants to break-up. I come
home thinking she is cheating on me. Don't
think she was now, she just needed time to
think.
Now, she has hooked up with another guy
that let her stay at his house since I've
been home. That was four to five weeks
ago.
Did I blow any chance of reconciling with
her by coming home?
Do you think it is too late to reconcile,
since she is already with someone else?
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-16-07 10:52am
Well I hate to be the one to say this to
you, but I think she's spelled things out
pretty well.
What you need to do is realize this isn't
the end of the world and move on with your
life. Yes it will be hard, yes it hurts
to lose her, but remember; she's not worth
your time, energy and love anyway, because
SHE made a choice...
Even when she comes crawling back, never
forget what she did to you and DO NOT take
her back. Don't even have sex with her if
she begs for it, no matter what.
It's gut check time. Time to see what
kind of man you are...
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nettech
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-16-07 12:06pm
That is what i've been told by everyone. I
guess I just never realized how selfish a
person she was until now. I do not think
she meant to do me like this but that
doesn't really matter now does it?
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-16-07 12:07pm
Believe me man, I feel for you...I never
thought my wife was capable of pulling
some of the caca she's pulled either, but
it happens to the best of us. Just man up
and get on with your life, don't let
yourself mourn too much because that hag
sure isn't! Anytime you want to talk,
lemme know!
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nettech
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-16-07 12:17pm
Well here is my next question. We acquired
a lot of things during our 2 = years
living together. I have given her most of
it in an effort to get her out of my life,
but now she wants more and I am not
willing to give in.
We agreed I would keep the bed but now she
wants that too. I've told her "enough is
enough" but this is getting sick. I've not
wanted to involve law enforcement in this
but damn the woman is sucking blood.
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-16-07 12:20pm
nettech
wrote:
Well here is my next
question. We acquired a lot of things
during our 2 = years living together. I
have given her most of it in an effort to
get her out of my life, but now she wants
more and I am not willing to give in.
We agreed I would keep the bed but now she
wants that too. I've told her "enough is
enough" but this is getting sick. I've not
wanted to involve law enforcement in this
but damn the woman is sucking
blood.
You're not married, hell posession is
9/10th's of the law right? Screw her,
tell her it's not up for negotiation and
she's not getting poo! I'm just
saying.....
Why would you have to call the cops? Has
she threatened you or something? Or
breaking in? I would call them in those
cases, but if she's just hassling you, be
the bigger person and ignore her.
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nettech
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-16-07 13:07pm
Well, the only reason to involve law
enforcement is cause she has shown up at
my door every weekend uninvited, demanding
to get things and she just calls and calls
all day. It plays havoc on my emotions and
I don't want to run out, chasing her off
screaming "beat it BXXXX!".
At this point, I know the relationship is
over and I need time away from her. I'm in
a new city, no family for 800 miles,
trying to meet people, coming off a fairly
emotional and financially devastating
loss. Which doubles the hurt and pain. She
has a new man and friends that are his,
which angers me off(even As I type right
now, which means I shouldn't have even
typed it).
Good thing is I'm working out and jogging
regularly. Finding the right job keeps me
busy and out of the bars. So, things are
looking up. I've met a couple of people
who try to keep my mind off her, but for
now I think it is important for me to
focus on myself and what I want, and to
spend time getting used to being alone.
I've considered going to some support
groups but I don't know if that would be
proactive, in my stage of recovery. I
don't want to be around a bunch of people
still stuck on their ex's after 6 months
and whining.
Like I said, she is dragging this out,
like she enjoys the torture and I am done
with allowing her to do that. But I still
have times of weakness and forums like
this help me vent
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-19-07 11:20am
People in breakups can be cruel and it's
too bad she's putting you through that
crap, but you have to do like you said,
look after you and try not to get too
down.
Just kill her with kindness when she calls
or visits. Let her see that you're moving
past her, just smile and talk nice, be
polite, ask her how she's doing and all
that. Agree with whatever she says but
don't give her anything, just say "Oh no,
I can't see that happening right now,
sorry" or something.
Don't go trying to get into a relationship
right away, you'll be doing yourself and
the new interest a disfavor...just like
you said, work on healing yourself, have
some fun, go get hammered with some
friends if you want to...call family,
talk/email, confide in someone you feel
close to.
Most of all, just know that she isn't
worth the hurt she's caused you, and
you'll heal and be the better person in
the end.
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-19-07 11:20am
People in breakups can be cruel and it's
too bad she's putting you through that
crap, but you have to do like you said,
look after you and try not to get too
down.
Just kill her with kindness when she calls
or visits. Let her see that you're moving
past her, just smile and talk nice, be
polite, ask her how she's doing and all
that. Agree with whatever she says but
don't give her anything, just say "Oh no,
I can't see that happening right now,
sorry" or something.
Don't go trying to get into a relationship
right away, you'll be doing yourself and
the new interest a disfavor...just like
you said, work on healing yourself, have
some fun, go get hammered with some
friends if you want to...call family,
talk/email, confide in someone you feel
close to.
Most of all, just know that she isn't
worth the hurt she's caused you, and
you'll heal and be the better person in
the end.
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 03-19-07 14:08pm
she left the house and abandonment means
that she didn't want it. Get the locks
changed and stop taking her phonecalls
stop seeing her.