To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they
are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...Here is
something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even god's omnipotence did not extend
to his own children. After creating heaven and earth, god created
adam and eve. And the first thing he said was "don't!"

"don't what?" adam replied.

"don't eat the forbidden fruit." god said.

"forbidden fruit?We have forbidden fruit? Hey eve...We
have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"no way!"

"yes way!"

"do not eat the fruit!" said god.

"why?"

"because I am your father and I said so!" god
replied, wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the
elephants. A few minutes later, god saw his children having an apple
break and he was ticked!

"didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" god asked.

"uh huh," adam replied.

"then why did you?" said the father.

"i don't know," said eve. ( or "i forgot" )

"she started it!" adam said

"did not!"

"did too!"

"did not!"

having had it with the two of them, god's punishment was that
adam and eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set
and it has never changed.

But there is reassurance in the story!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If god
had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Things to think about!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them
to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 15 telling them to sit down
and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are god's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to
remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


Advice for the day: be nice to your kids. They will choose
your nursing home one day.

And finally: if you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do mesmeriwhat it says on the aspirin bottle:

"take two aspirin" and "keep away from children"