Hi my names Darius i'm 17, and i believe i need help. I've been slightly despressed for 2 years now for two years now and i think things are getting worse and i'm starting to scare even myself. My lifes been slightly rough, parents divorced, being moved around alot, moms boyfriends all piss me off, lack of popularity and attention in school. My lifes not perfect but i know i'm fortunate for what i DO have which leads me to start discussing the things that disturb me. I've contemplated suicide before, but have never gone all the way, ie just planning in my head, grabbing the knife and putting it away etc. Common sense just came into place, i know that the things that make me upset and despressed are not worth taking my life over. but lately i've been thinking more and more about suicide and i honestly don't know why...
Over the past few months, maybe since the start of 07 stuff has been going downhill, my grades are slipping, my energy and drive just seem completly gone, my desire to hang out with my friends and my hobbies and interests are far lower than they used to be. Getting up in the morning is really really hard now, and the last few days i've not been going to school, but taking residense(sp?) hiding underneath my bed...
Only way to describe it is i'm afraid to go to school... and i don't know why, i'm not being bullied and sure i'm not popular but i have my circle of friends... i've avoided talking to my friends lately aswell once again don't know why...
I've overdosed on pills and other random stuff to miss days of school in the past, and i now see that i'm trying to take the easy way out of everything in life, seems childish but i don't want to be challenged... it frightens me to think my ideal situation is being a vegetable in a mental institution...
Well thats about everthing i know i need help, so i guess i'm looking for advice and suggestions, my mom is already aware
I've told her recently bascially all this stuff... so maybe some suggestions that i could also share with her?