Parenting Community Forum - Pushing Our Kids Too Hard And Too Early?

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Q: Pushing Our Kids Too Hard And Too Early?

asked by: foxy on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

Hi Guys, I have been posting for a while but I'm back Smile

I've been thinking about this for a while ever since my son started "school"......nowadays at least here in the Bahamas many kids are expected start school at age 1 (where they do school work and have homework), so you have Kindergarten -1, then K-2, K-3, K-4, then grade 1. In K-1 (age 1 yr old) and K-2 (2 yrs old), they are learning their alphabet and numbers and start to "write", in K-3 (3 yrs old) they are learning how to write their alphabet and numbers properly, colors etc. Tre is now in K-4, and he is still fine tuning his writing skills, he is adding, and also reading.

In order to get accepted into grade 1 for most private schools, your child has to able to read, write, spell, add and subtract, know sequences etc.

I just think this is way too much! Back in the day (my generation) grade 1 was where you learned your alphabet, numbers and writing and we didn't turn out slow or uneducated. So why the rush all of a sudden??

Yesterday my son had homework, 3 pages of the alphabet to write (that's roughly 35 upper and 35 lower case letters per page) and some math (addition, or just writing the numbers), and he did 2 pages of the alphabet and started complaining that he was tired etc. So I didn't push him to do any more, so this morning I told his teacher that he didn't finish his homework because he was tired, so she said "well he will just stay in during recess and finish it, and she started berating me and Tre for not completing the homework" So I had to tell her that I feel that they are pushing the kids too hard, he just turned 4 for heaven's sake, its not like a college is not going to accept him because he didn't do all of his homework in K-4! I also told her that when my child is tired I will not force him to do any more work period, its not like he gets 1 page of homework....he gets 5!

Opinions please....Am I over reacting?

Kacey

Replies(37)

HcoBrunette06

replied on March 8th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

i think that is a lot, i remember in kindergarden just learning which number is higher 5 or 9 and circling it lol that's a lot!

Emma2

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

YEAH ITS WAYYYYYYYYYY TOO MUCH....MY NEPHEW IS IN THE 3RD GRADE AND HAS A BROKEN BACK FROM CARRYING ALL THOSE DARN BOOKS EVERY NIGHT..HE DOES MIN 2 HOURS OF HOMEWORK EVERY NIGHT...BUT HE GOES TO AND ENGLISH AND FRENCH SCHOOL SO HE HAS DOUBLE THE WORK THAN OTHERS...

mamaTT

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I don't think you are over reacting at all. Starting school at age 1, takes away from them being able to be a kid. My stepdaughter is 4 years old and in preschool. She knows her abc's and can count to about 17, but she can't read or write yet. That's stuff that she probably will start learning in kindergarten this fall. I can't believe how much kids are suppose to be doing by her age in the bahamas. That's just too much too fast. Let them enjoy the first few years of their lives, for heaven's sake.

Kia

replied on March 8th, 2007

Moderator

I don't agree with the homework as such.
but I do think kids should be able to read and write as young as possible.

not forced but definately encouraged and guided to learn.

maybe I'm biased because of myself but I could read, write, count, alphabet, colors before I went to "playgroup" at 18 months old.

I know not all kids are the same and you have to adapt to fit you and your kid.

I had my nan at home all day everyday and all I wanted to do was academic type stuff - reading writing and so she went along with it.

then again I was with my mom and dad until 18 months so maybe that was just naturally me.

I know I was reading kid books (topsy & turvey - anyone remember them) when I was still in a crib.

Eyes Wide Shut

replied on March 8th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I'm split on this. The fact that you got repremanded because your 4 year old got tired after doing 3 pages of his 5, is totally wrong. You're right...it's not like a college will deny him for this.

But if I could afford to send .oni to a private school at such an early age, I would in a heart beat. But I would join the .p.t.a and show a concern for the amount of homework given to such young children.

I don't believe that before grade 1, homework should be given. Not only are these children in school early, but you're gonna send them *home* with *more* work?! Come on!!

Totally ridicilious!!

Have they at least taught him to tie his shoes? That's more of the type of homework, I would see suitable.

Sarah

foxy

replied on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

mamaTT wrote:

I can't believe how much kids are suppose to be doing by her age in the bahamas.

Its not all kids, only the kids that you want to attend private school from grades 1- 12. The kids that go to Government/public school aren't expect to know as much...BUT...with public school, you are dealing with safety issues, also some classes have like 40 - 50 students, and learning is not pushed...either you learn or you don't...some students graduate government high school who can't read.

And if you attend public school and want to transfer to a private school they automatically put you back a grade.

foxy

replied on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

Kia wrote:

.Kia I agree with you, there is nothing wrong with teaching your child how to read and write etc. at an early age.......but like you say it shouldn't be forced, learning at that age should be a flexible and fun thing. Its sad that by the time your child hits grade 1 they are already exhausted and have "school" burnout.

Kia

replied on March 8th, 2007

Moderator

babymajic0506 wrote:

I don't believe that before grade 1, homework should be given. Not only are these children in school early, but you're gonna send them *home* with *more* work?! Come on!!

yes, exactly.
they are there to learn skills - skills which will be used during the day with mom/dad
what color is this?
how many are there?
and so on

which is why I don't agree with "set homework" rather more I think parents should continue exercising those skills in general

does that make sense?

Eyes Wide Shut

replied on March 8th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

yupp!

I think that reguardless of attending school or not, your 2 year old should be able to recite the abc's and 123's.

You teach your child reguardless. But if you work, school is the better option to make sure your child has these things instilled. Does that make any sense?! lmao!!

Sarah

tigresacanela24

replied on March 8th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Kia wrote:

I know I was reading kid books (topsy & turvey - anyone remember them) when I was still in a crib.

LOL! I don't remember a time when I couldn't read! But you definitely have me beat! My mum says I didn't start reading until a few months past my second birthday.

foxy

replied on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

babymajic0506 wrote:

He is not in the private school yet Sarah, he is in the "prep" school to get prepared for private school.

But you think homework before grade one is ridiculous....lol...then you might fall out with this one, In order to get into K-4 at the private school, your child has to be interviewed, where they are verbally tested. TO get accepted into grade 1, you child has to do a written entrance exam, that includes writing, math, etc! And yes, they do fail some children and refuse to accept them.

Eyes Wide Shut

replied on March 8th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

lmao!! That's insane.

I was in a private school until my freshman year in high school. I transferred to a public school and *loved* it!

The teachers actually *helped* you, as opposed to saying "you should know how to do this, you're in a private school."(which was said many many times in my schooling years)

That's crazy. But, you know, you sign up for it. I'm sure they tell you that in the interview before you sign papers...so I guess it's a matter of takin it in stride.

But all that damn homework...it's obserd.

Sarah

Emma2

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

EVERY PARENT SHOULD BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR TEACHING CHILDREN THE BASICS BUT PREP SCHOOL IS A BUNCH OF CROCK AND IT WILL BURN OUT THE CHILD BEFORE HE HITS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL...ITS ALMOST LIKE KIDS ARE ROBOTS THESE DAYS NOT HUMAN BEINGS!

Willa Weintraub

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I can't believe people are actually pushing kids that far and hard!

foxy

replied on March 8th, 2007

Experienced User

babymajic0506 wrote:

over here its the opposite .Sarah, its the Public Schools that don't care if you are learning or not, because it is free education and they need to hurry up and get rid of you to make room for the other thousands of kids, the private schools have smaller classes and they will not pass you to the next grade until they feel that you have learned what is expected in that specific grade.

Yes, for private school you know that your child will have to work and do homework and such.......but it is excessive.....and I know this because of every afternoon when Tre does his homework writing for example the first page (70 letters) is perfect, the second page not so perfect and the 3rd page is down right horrible, and I know that it this happens because it is way too much for a 4yr old's attention span.

But like you said, I do have to take it instride, because there is no middle ground.......its either this way or Public school.

I just long for the old days when there were actually children walking around instead of little adults

Sunflower_pie81

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

My little sister could read the see sam books at 4.5 years of age. she could write her name, my mother's name and my father's name, her address, her home number, my mom and dad's cell phone numbers by age 4. crazy? Not if she got lost or abducted.

she could count to 100 both in english and spanish, and say her abc's by the age of four. she knew all he colors and what colors combined make what colors. (blue and red make purple ect)

but my mom is a teacher and worked with her since she was a year old with all of this. being able to do math and writing and reading before the age of 5 is kinda tough. wow.....some children arent' ready for this and will not excell. but hell i dont' know.

I think that being able to read at

Sunflower_pie81

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Emma2 wrote:

oh my god emma did you type this in all caps??? because when you quote this it's all caps....but it's not in the forum. crazy

Emma2

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Sunflower_pie81 wrote:

Emma2 wrote:

oh my god emma did you type this in all caps??? because when you quote this it's all caps....but it's not in the forum. crazy

i dont see the freakin caps!!! lol...i use caps for a program for work and i dont ever take them off..i guess i'll have to now!! surprise i've always typed on the forum in caps!! haha

Sunflower_pie81

replied on March 8th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

no don't worry about taking them off untl the caps work. i use them for a program at work too...but i have to turn them off for other programs. it's crazy....so i think your fine as of right now.

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