Poll

That is such a hard one..... Even my head hurts thinking about it!

Me too! I wish life was black and white sometimes, it would make things easier

Dani, you have a pm sweets.
Love,
chanda

Hi, I am hilary, 25 weeks preg tomorrow. I am giving my son up for adoption and I think it will be the best for him. You have to decide what is best for the baby and for your children! Good luck!

Hilary

Hey, I was just curious why you decided to give your baby up for adoption. You dont have to answer either I was just wondering.

I am 19 years old and I will be 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow. When I first got the news that I was pregnant, it was the happiest day of my life. My fiancee and I had been trying for a baby for about 4 or 5 months. When I did find out that I was pregnant, I had what my doctor called a threatened miscarriage. For the next 3 months, I had to be so careful, I was bed ridden most of the day, I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize our baby’s health. So I didn’t, 3 months passed and my baby was still there, happy and healthy. At 17 weeks, I found out that I was carrying a little boy. I couldn’t have been any happier and I didn’t think that anything could shatter that happiness. Just a week later, my fiancee of 11 months came to me and said that he didn’t want to marry me or be with my son or me. He started to deny paternity of him saying that there is no way, that I must have cheated on him. And of course I didn’t, I loved this man. Come to find out only 2 weeks ago that the reason he was leaving me was so that he could marry some bimbo in a vegas chapel only 3 days after leaving me. I graduated high school in 2001 on honors of recognition, the top 1% of my class, I was saludictorian (2nd of my graduating class) with a full scholarship to go to the university of my choice and become a doctor. I began college in the spring of 2002 and continued through until I became pregnant, when I professor suggested that I just take some time to enjoy my pregnancy and my fiancee, so I did. Now look at me, I will have a newborn, an unfinished dream and I will have to work. I cannot do both schooling to be a doctor, work enough hours and support this baby. And although this may seem like a bad decision for some of you, I have decided that my best option would be to put him up for open adoption. Though it may seem selfish, I don’t want even a part of me to blame my son for me not being able to go back to college. The family that I have found to adopt him is so loving. They have a 5 year old daughter and because of a bad c-section with her, they are no longer able to have children and they wanted 5 or 6. They have stable careers, they are good to each other and best of all they have been happily married for 13 years. I think they are incredible and their daughter is so lucky to have them and I know that my son will be too. I know that adoption is so hard to think about, but you need to think about not just the next few months, but the next 18 years of both of your lives.


Hilary

Oh I totally understand! Adoption is the single most unselfish thing anyone can do. I think you sound like a great person! I hope your planning on sticking around here! You dont have to keep your baby to be welcome or even have one!

Thank you! I jump in every once in a while. Just to update everyone and help people who need advice, but mostly I just read up.

Hilary

Yeah I see you've been here since oct. And only made 23 posts i've been here since dec. And I have made like 600!! well I might write to you sometimes to see how things are going for you. You seem very nice!

Thanks for the reply. I also think its sweet what your doing! Your son is so lucky that he has a great mom!

Danielle

Hilary-i dont think ur bad at all.Adoption 4 u was a good choice and I think the outcome will be very happy because ur child is going to a loving,caring home.I hope u get ur dream of becoming a doctor.
Best wishes
liz x

I dont think that you are a bad person for giving your child up for adoption but just the fact of it all makes me cringe..You know what I mean? Last night I was watching mtv and the girl was having an adoption,and she went and met the parents, and was just balling her eyes out when she was signing the papers, she had a cesearean. And I just couldnt see goingn through all that and then not keeping the baby. You carry that baby, you learn to love that baby, that baby learns to love your voice, you do everything you can for that baby and then you give it up I just wouldnt have the heart, but I guess anything is better than leaving a child on the streets (not saying that you would but people do)..Once again though this is just my feeling..I am sorry that your fiance was such an azzz. And I am sorry that he is treating you like this, treated you like this.

As for danielle, hunny I think that you need to listen to your heart, and think about your life now, and weighh the pro's and cons. I think that that is all I can say without saying something likke "keep your baby" because that is just the type of person that I am.

I agree I think u have to do wots in ur heart. Think about ur hubby and wot he would want u to do, think of the impact on the childrent u already have(altho im sure u have already done these things)

listen to ur heart and soul and u will find the answers and if all that fails lie on the grass outside on a nice sunny day and watch the clouds its very theraputic altho I havent done it in years I think it helps relax and calm down and usually u become so relaxed that u realise what u have to do.

Good luck im thinking of u sweety

from someone who cant wait to have a jellybean all of their own