the Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Discussion

Well I just spent the better part of the morning read this whole thread, and it has helped me more than anything I researched in the past couple years.

I've never gone before actual penetration, but after penetration It only takes a minute or two and I am done - whether a condom is on or not, it doesn't really help. Even the Extended Pleasure ones from Trojan, they haven't done anything for me. After we're done and I pull it off, I can definitely tell that it is a little numb, but obviously not numb enough to hold off ejaculation any longer than usual. I'm hoping to Stud Spray has better results.

PE is probably one of the most depressing things I've had to deal with, and unfortunately I've dealth with it ever since I've started having sex. Fortunately, my lady friend right now that I sleep with all the time (not dating though) doesn't seem to mind or ever say anything about it. So I am rather comfortable with her, but it doesn't help any. And I am honestly way to embarassed to ask her to actually help me get over it. But besides her I have a hard time actually working up the courage to sleep with anyone else. Usually the girls I sleep with say its awesome - not to me or else I probably wouldn't really believe it. But they tell their friends, and when you live in a small town, that stuff gets around. But no matter how good anyone thinks it is, I hate that it only lasts 2 minutes, and it is still rather embarressing... especially when you have to finally stop because its gone down and wonder what she is thinking about how short it was. I'm only 21, and would really like to get over this while I'm still in the college scene and have the opportunity to meet lots of girls easier.

I think I have finally just resorted to getting on an SSRI. I hate drugs, any kind of drug I can't stand. I've never in my life tried any kind of drug, but if an SSRI has the chance for me to last longer its worth it. I'd be happy with just 10 - 15 minutes, but would love to last a good hour sometime.

Hey Seajai I wanted to reply to what said because I know exactly where you are coming from. I am basically in the same type of scenario you are in. I am also 21 and suffering from the uncontrolable reflex of pe. I have only had sex with one girl, my ex girlfriend. When I would get off to quick she would never say anything and never really did throughout the relationship. However i was really lucky that she orgasmed quickly also so it wasnt that big of an issue. Now that we are not togerther I am afraid to get intimate with another girl because the fear of being embarrased in the sack. Im a horny 21 year old college student and i've actually turned girls down before cause i was too afraid of what might happen. That is such a horrible feeling. Any way I also wanted to reply because you said you might take srris because of it. I have been taking ssris for a couple years now and i would say they should be taken as a last resort becuase they are powerful drugs and can have profound side effects but at the same time, is the only thing that had really worked for me in delaying ejaculation. If you are really thinking about this i will share my experiance with them,if you are not interested ignore the rest of this post Basically in a nutshell i was prescribed zoloft 100mg for ocd a few years ago and i noticed that I started lasting longer in sex. To give you an idea i went from about a minute to about 5-15 minutes depending on differnt factors. However it can be a double edged sword because it also kills libido for some people. In my case iv'e never really had a problem with libido but i was super horny dude bedore i started taking the meds and i think it may have tapered off a little since ive been on them. You also have to "shop around" with srris because different people react differently to them. I tried Prozac for a short time and hated it, I had trouble sleeping and I wouldnt eat the whole day. But currently I'm back on zoloft but only taking 25 mgs. If I had a choice I would not take it but the only reason i even take it is for the delaying effects it gives me, I could care less taking it for what they originally gave it to me for. It is what has given me a somewhat "normal" sex life. My advice to you or anyone else thinking about trying srris is start off small (dosage) and give it time to work (it takes a couple weeks for it to start working) Anyway hope this helped you or anyone in the forum out.

Seajai - you wrote - "Even the Extended Pleasure ones from Trojan, they haven't done anything for me. After we're done and I pull it off, I can definitely tell that it is a little numb, but obviously not numb enough to hold off ejaculation any longer than usual. I'm hoping to Stud Spray has better results. "

I tried and have had success with extended pleasure condoms. After you put the condom on how long did you wait before penetrating? I found that the longer I waited the more numb I got. Try waiting a minute or so with it on. Then after penetrating go slow and pull out every few seconds to not only make it last longer, but to give the condom more time to numb you. I recall in order for me to orgasm I had to take the condom off and penetrate without it. I was so numb that didn't even work and my wife in the end had to masturbate me. We were both exhausted by the time I actually finished but it felt awesome to be able to last that long.

I switched to the stud spray because my wife does not like the feel of a condom, she likes to feel it naturally. If you use the stud spray there are a few tips I can offer from my experimenting. Granted this may just be me and these things may or may not be needed or helpful to you.

1. spray on when you are flaccid not erect.
2. wait 1 to 2 minutes to let spray soak in and activate.
3. make sure when you spray you get a mist not a stream. Push down completely on the nozzel to get a mist.
4. Hit your most sensitive areas, usually the head and underside of shaft closest to head.

Good Luck!

Why when flaccid?

for me, even after I ejaculate, it stays up for another minute or so, i've also can control mine after masturbation, my trick is when I feel im about to cum I hold down the skin in the middle of my penis for a small pause, then I feel like I haven't came, so its basically another "chance" if you want to call it

Hi!

I'm 14 and recently made out with a girl for the first time. I'm not sure how long it took, but I came in my pants (it wasn't noticeable). I went to the toilet, and when I had a look it was very transparent.

Do you think I suffer from PE?

i have quick question, i'm 19 and i recently had sex for the first time. i came in about a minute, i was bummed out but after i thought about it lying there with her i realized i hadn't masturbated or cum before that for over a week. anyway about 15 min after my first orgasm we started to do it again. this time was better although it was still only about 5 min.

anyway, after it was all over i wasn't really that worried about it. i figured it was the result of not masturbating for a while plus it being my first time.

then a couple days later we did it again and i came in a minute or two again. after that i started to worry about PE. I wonder though because i've had a couple of blowjobs and handjobs by different girls, granted they were sort of half assed by inexperienced teenagers, but i never came close cumming from either.

might i have a problem or is it just inexperience that i shouldn't worry about? does anyone who doesn't suffer from PE have a similar story about losing their virginity?

thanks in advance.

I think it's just inexperience. It can take a while to learn how to deal with controlling yourself with the new feeling of a vagina. From what I've heard, it's amazing compared to masturbation or even oral, so it makes sense why it makes orgasm a lot harder to control.

Hi, i'm only 16 and i'm wondering if i have pe . It is really driving me crazy. I have never had sex in my life before didn't want to have it before 18. I do watch porn and masterbate though. When I masterbate I only last like 1 minute while watching porn and really horny ( i am afraid of getting caught , not sure if that is effecting me..) While I masterbate in the bathroom alone it lasts 5 - 10 minute but that is without porn and no turn on. i find it very hard to imagine stuff so it's hard, 5-10 min is probably exaggerating.. probably 5 min max. i'm afraid to go out and get a gf / have sex now that I've read this forum. help! I also have a below avg penis so that doesnt boost my confident either

Hey everyone. Decided to drop a line after reading through all the posts. Im gonna keep my history brief and instead focus on what ive learned and what i believe will be the cure or "retraining as i look at it" that will satisfy most people as long as the proper time is put in. 1 thing. Please dont mind my spelling errors as i dont look at the screen when i type.

Im 28. Had PE since 13 or so when i first began to masturbate. Various sexual encounters while i had PE made it difficult to enjoy any of them or actually perform in any of them for many year sto come. Ive had a few serious GF's tho, and it does get better as you learn more. At 19 i went to my first sex clinic. And had gone a few times in the years after. But i still did not understand enough. I coudl go on for a while on what it was like before but im just gonna get to where im at right now. went from 10 seconds to 10-15 mins on average during sex. And sometimes, 20 mins. Now, mind you, these arent 10 mins of straight pounding. Every 30 seconds i do feel the urge. But ive learned alot, and sudden stops for liek a second or shifting weight allows me to restart the clock. When i was at 10 seconds it was impossible to do something like this. What changed it was masturbation and more sex. But really, masturbation the right way. Now, im looking into putting the most effort ive every thought of this time around because i feel now after studying and understanding my body i believe i know where it came from and how to prolong it. Now ive read this excat thing in a few cases from some peopel over teh net. And they were THE only ones who fixed it. But like i said. It requires so much time and dedication. And im just starting after learning so much over the years.


1) The quick jerk evolving to teh slow jerk. . How many of you are like this? My first sexual experience was me jerking it. And it was rapid style. Over the years, before my first shot with a chick, i jerked off many times a day but in a rapid fire pace. i was still doing this up to this year. i believe this is what trained my dick to have teh urge to ejaculate so quickly. Think about it. When u try these stop start things now, u dont see any difference in teh length before the point of no return because youve already trained your dick like a million times to rapid fire right to the point asap. Its all muscle memory. So jerking off is needed to clear this problem. Not asking you tto stop, just to SLOW DOWN. Dont worry about stop start with partner. This is all for you alone.


2) Time and dedication. Theres a few things i learned and try. As much as you can. I mean seriously as much time as you have alone at home, jerk off. Use porn, use images on teh net. Get going. You gotat retrain your dick and your brain to do thinsg teh new way. And you wont see results for a week, month, or even a few months. Maybe you will see a slight difference. But the big ones will take a while. No different then losing weight or gainign muscles during workouts. You dont lose alot in a week, or a month. Its like six months of training when you see your body learning your new lifestyle and growing from it. So set aside like 30 mins a day. I even try liek an hour sometimes just jerking off to porn or videos. Porn is harder to control. But stay slow. I will get to that in the next point. But this point is to find time. Make it. 2 times a week aint enough to retrain. Everyday would be ideal. This is one of teh hardest parts.

3) How do u jerk off? Or pound away in sex? Lets say you got some sexy pics from the net. Its a good start. Slowly start to jerk off until u get hard. Now enjoy it. But go slow. Train yourself. Stay slow. Even if you are slow, u will notice its still feeling liek ejac time sooner or later. But it is slower than the rapidfire jerking. And each time is better. When i say slow, i mean slow. 1-2 seconds per jerk helps. Ofcourse go faster at times to keep the feeling going. Now what happens eventually u will get to the ejac point, at which you shoudl stop. Clamp down your pc's, touch that part above your anus, or grab teh head of your penis. Do whatever. It doesnt matter which. Your just Shockign your brain with any of them saying" nope, i aint letting myself cum like its used to." thats teh point of the stop , start thingy. U might have to literally do this thousands of times over months before u get control but now u understand what its about. The time inbetween when u start jerking when u are hard and when you reach teh point of no return is where you want to lengthen. The more you stay in that area, the longer it gets. This is why u go slow. People do these start stop things with a fast or regular paced jerk off or thrust, then stop. But thats not enough to help. When you feel u get closer to the higher levels of arousal, slow down even more. Like jerk, wait like 2 seconds, jerk, wait 2 secs, jerk, wait 2 secs...this is when u feel that if u did 2 jerks in a row, u woudl reach the point of no return. Keep on staying at these levels with time in between and eventually after a few minutes it will feel easier. Try it. Dont worry if the next time u do teh exercise it feels the same as u started. Cuz liek i said, ur retraining will take many months. But u shoudl feel something in terms of feeling slightly better control over these exercises in a few weeks if done daily. When images get you bored, throw in some good old porn vidz to make it even more difficult. And it will be with teh sounds and stuff.

4) This one, ive read about in a few books and from a few posts aswell. Might seem sstrange to some but im tryign it. NEVER CUM. Together with slowing down your strokes quite a bit and staying at teh high levels of arousal and stopping when near the point of no return, thsi may cure it all over time. When u dont cum after stroking, your again telling your brain "NO". No to somethign you've said Yes to thousands of times before or maybe hundreds if your still young. Eventually, it will learn tthat its not been releasing and cumming after teh strokes and arousal. That it will push back the time. Thats its not nessary to blow it out so quickly, sinc eu dont blow out anymore. Muscle memory! hold it back. Blue balls doesnt exist by teh way if u worry about that. that caca happens when your witha girls. But it doesnt exist when your just jerking. So dont worry and start holding back your explosions.

These 3 things are things that not alot of you probably do and this is why there slittle chance at fixing it. I wish i started this stuff in my teens. I woudl have been happier. But better late than never. understand why this happens. Understand that this is a function that you have trained your body to do in this particular way. Its about getting comfortable by repeating, repeating and repeating. Many many times. Sorry if this was too long. I just wanna help myself and others cuz this caca sux. And every doing it thing out there is just designed to make money off suffering people, and thats just horrible. Imagine, if u have the patience and teh dedication, with this method . As long as erections arent a problem, u can have sex for as long as you want. If if erections are a problem, get some drugs, cuz now you can bang for a while.

BTW, weed is super once in a while. U can last long, and it feels great when actually having sex.

Ive had this problem for not very long, in fact it could be lack of sexual stamina, and I hope so. I find this doubtful tho since I have this trouble when masturbating too. Its annoying that us guys in our 20's most of us should have the extra stress of this.

Excellent post tito!
ur methods do seem very logical. I think I'll be trying them from now on. Its good to see the guy above confirming it too, be good if he could compare his methods to this .couple of questions-
How long was before you noticed any effects from this?
You say you get the urge every 30 seconds while having sex, do you control this from just shifting weight?and when you say you shouldnt cum while masturbating does this mean everytime?

thanks

brizi

brizi- how long before i noticed any effects? Hard to say as ive learned alot over the years in controlling myself from different things but similar methods.But i can tell I am doing this right now and although it takes alot of dedication, u should be able to notice something different after a week or 2. But not enough to make a huge difference. Honestly, this is why alot of peopel fail. Because results arent there in a week or a month or even more. As long as you feel even 0.5 % success after each day, you know its worth the time.
As for teh urge every 30 seconds- i would just thrust hard on the last thrust and hold and push for about 2 seconds and recontinue my normal routine. Or i would just go slow for a bit. Any of that works and is pleasurable. Keep in mind, then length inbetween will turn 30 seconds into minutes inbetween. Im talking continual thrusts not liek minutes total in sex. Before i couldnt restart so quickly after pausing or slowing down. Now, i can without the urge already built up. Actually, im quite better than that even now. And its a good 30, she never sees any stopping or slow down. But eventually theres a point where it gets close, whether its near the beginning or 10 minutes later. Even if i do the act more controlled and slower than what u woudl expect sex to fully be like. But thats where i will take it eventually.
Yeah, stop ejaculating. Not for ever, but for a while. Ive managed to do this for over a month now. And ofcourse theres not a huge difference, but i feel something. And i know my piece is learning every single time when i dont ejac while masturbating real slow. its learning that theres no point to the feeling of ejaculating since its not happening much anymore. Try to kill it. I dont even cum during sex anymore. U learn to enjoy masturbation thbis way aswell. Which is probably why we mostly have this issue in teh first place.We skipped enjoyment and went for the show closer right away. If u want to blow you rload, do it here and there. After long sessions of training. BUT DO NOT do it after a quickie. Meaning dont just start jerking fast as hell as we all do when u want to blow it. Go slow again all the way this time. I tell ya, even one false move can work against you. Personally, id cut it completely for a bit.

If everyone does this stuff, this will work. No joke. People on this board must read what i said and think about it. Understand it. I'll help as much as I can cuz i know this stuff just sux.

As for time of day. Yeah, i notice mornings i can work the best. Always. Especially afer a huge night of boozing.

anybody visit already http://www.TreatPremature Ejaculation.net/?
I found a neat list of possible treatments with a short explanation for each of them. I actually found out that is possible to cure it even with hypnosis but i dunno how much I would trust it...

I'm that bad only when I'm single. I've found once get used to a girl after a bit of time I then become a guy that can last super long, but if it's "new" sex, first date, and that kinda thing I'm Mr Quickdraw or Quickcum I should say. It's very embarrassing to say the list. I would usually get 3 pumps and i'm done. As soon as I would enter I automactically know I'm in trouble ! I did find a something that works for me though and is actually something the girl enjoys. First off I'm sure every on would agree hit her with some good oral pleasure and make her cum that way first, but when you're done there and about ready to enter her pleasure spot the mistake I was making was entering all the way. I now only put the tip in and automatically take it out. Here's the thing the minute I start this I'm massaging her clit, and no matter if my tip is in or not I never stop massaging her clit... So I take out my tip. I may not put it back for 10 secs, or a minute, just depends on how sensitive I am that day. Once I've done that several times I then put just a little bit more of my manhood inside her and pump 3-5 times and then pull my penis out and repeat as above. I at this point can stand 3-5 mini not all the way in pumps as I've gotten over a bit of sensitivity with my tip. All the while working her clit. While doing this I will try hard to think of something super boring to also help me hold back but thoughts alone don't work. I've tried to put my mind else where in the beginning and just go for it and BAM I'm cuming in three seconds ! So I have to do this method as I described along with thinking of something boring. After about 10 minutes of this, and massaging her clit all the while and making taking a second or two to make out with her or suck on a boob I find the sensitivity just disapears. The first time I did this with a first date I was amazed ! I was like what ? I'm not sensitive. Well I was in the beginning let me tell you, and if I didn't do I like did in the above, and I just were to have thrust myself in her it would have been a short party. But because I took it super duper slow and just used my etc and all the above the sensitivity was gone. This is where I started to pound the heck out of her love whole, hard long fast, quick thrust. The only thing is if you do such a good job at this technique you can find yourself on the other end real fast, meaning not being able to cum. The minute I feel like I'm getting into this territory, I start to think of super nasty stuff, kick up the making out with her while thrusting, and dirty bed sex talk. This helps get the cum feeling back real fast.

Well this works for me. maybe it will work for you.

dating in demand

Now that I've spent the afternoon reading through the posts, I have a question of whether anyone suffers the same problems as I experience?

As a kid I was NOT circumcized and had PE from the very first day. My case is that I had extremely tight foreskin which prevented me from stroking. Hence I developed this unusual practice of cliping my thighs together but I couldn't last more than 10-20 seconds.

Due to the nature of my foreskin I had to get circumsized by 16 years of age which after recovery, led to my fascinating discovery of stroking! Because I was circumcized at a late age, the head is now extremely sensitive!

I gave-up long on PE but instead focused on sensations rather than time. I could ejaculate in half an hour using start-stop which overly tenses my penis. It is so un-enjoyable that it's so hard that I feel no sensations and suddenly it pasts a point that I immediately want to ejaculate with no pleasure. However, once in a while (once every 2 months) I can feel a whur inside my abdomen inside and behind the penis. The whur is so strong that I feel like masterbating immediately. However this time, my penis feels so relaxed and I can come in 10 seconds but the sensation is unbelieveable. The sensation is from the whur deep inside combined with head outside

I assume this is 'relaxed' PE that everyone is talking about. I want to achieve this sensual 10 seconds everytime I masterbate. It is a world of difference between the rock hard half hour of stop and start, and the mind-blowing whur of 10 seconds.

alright dudes!!
im onto something here and if anyone can shed some light or relate then please share you stories if u have any tips as well

while choking the chicken the other night, i decided for the first time in my life to stay completley relaxed and stroke it till i would feel the urge to cum, whe i was doing this i relaized that i could go on for much longer if I didnt flex my pc muscle at all. I read on this board before some one saying something about the pc muscle doing that but I didnt think that was the case for me but it is. Fastforward a bit, i start getting "good feelings" but instead of flexing my pc muscle and holding them I left it completly relaxed and I could almost feel that good feeling travel up my shaft and out my spout, sensations increased after this but I was still going at a medium pace adjusting my stroking to how I felt to make it last even longer, the came time for the test, I stroked it till i felt i was gonna cum and right before I felt it i squeezed my pc muscle hard a couple of times until the urge passed and then continued slowly and repeated the whole process from square 1, i never had better sensations in my life by not squeezing my pc muscle when stroking only when I couldnt take it anymore. This is what I will do from now on and im definilty gonna do this with sex also and see the results.
cheers