the Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Discussion

Well I am definately most sensitive on the tip, so when I masterbate, I usually tug down lower on the shaft to try to delay ejaculation. When I want to cum, I usually move up to the tip. And I am circumsized from birth.
I could probably ejaculate if I just rubbed the underside of my tip with a finger. Now on the other hand, that would not happen if I tried that at the base, there's just not as many nerve endings there.

From what I understand, our system sort of prime's the pump before we ejaculate. I forgot the exact science, but I believe "Coping with Ejaculation" explained it all. I would really recommend this book to everyone. There is stuff in there that could help, maybe not cure, but at least raise your awareness. For $10, go to amazon.com and get the book.

NYC- Have you gone to the Urologist yet? Any news?

I'll share my experience from the weekend. Well we finally had some alone time, so we had a chance to do things. Well I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to cum so darn fast, so I really poured the Stud spray on. I am almost out, so it didn't mist, but it was more like liquid. It probably only had a minute or so to soak in, and I wasn't feeling the numbness right away. She got on top of me and I could still feel a great deal of sensitivity, so I started doing a "reverse kegel", where you sort of push out like you are trying to pass gas. This helped delay time while the spray soaked in, and sure enough, it delayed it enough and I pretty much could not cum. Reverse kegels may a very important tool. You guys should try and practice and let us know if it does anything for you.

The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get. My girl actually cums pretty quick. Usually it only takes her about 2 minutes to cum if she is on top. If only I could last 2 - 3 minutes naturally, then I wouldn't have a problem at all.

hi, I'm new around here and I've read the first few pages of this topic. good stuff.

I've read here that some have experienced PE before penetration and through oral sex. I don't experience those two but I do climax prematurely when i penetrate..within 1-2 minutes.(I can last long through oral)

Is this normal for PE?

ok, thanks for the good reading and help out there.
Time to order that 'coping with PE' book.

Hi, I had stumbled upon this forum a while ago and began reading this particular thread from its beginning. I have recently finished and would also like to contribute my trials and tribulations in hopes that maybe sharing all this stuff, that we can help each other out. Because I know how pe affects me and I hate it, and i'm sure the rest of you feel the same. Before I go on i will give a little background about myself. Ever since I started masturbating i reached orgasm quikly. In fact I used to masturbate in a way in which i would reach orgasm as quikly as possible (which makes me shutter to think about now.) Which makes me a good candidate for the whole "pe as a learned behavior theory." Anyway when i reached about age 16 i realized that if i orgamsed quikly while masturbating the same would hold true during sex. This is when I began to worry a lot about what my future sex life would hold and I began to avoid relationships with girls. Around age 17, in an unrelated matter i was prescribed the drug Zoloft. While on the drug I noticed that it took me longer than usuall to reach orgasm and thought it was pretty cool but did not really think much of it at the time for I did not plan on being on the drug for very long. I stoped taking the srris and shortly after i met my first serisous girlfriend. I was around 18 at this time and was no longer on the medication. The very first time we had sex I ejaculated upon entering her, which was to say the least extremely embarrasing. The second time we had sex a day later or so i got a good 30 seconds in before I lost it. This made me very distressed and I did not know what to do. I remebered what the ssris did for me and began taking them again, this improved my time to about 2-5 mins.Still not great but a vast improvement over my original time. Luckily my girlfriend was able to acheive orgasm very quikly so it wasn't much of an issue. I have been taking the ssris ever since for that reason. I feel that the ssris are the only reason I can even have a sex life and I would not be able to with out them. This worries me as I can not take these the rest of my life. And believe me I have tried many different things to improve my time from kegals to creams to pills to ebooks. I have gotten the stud spray do to succeses of other users on this forum and found it to be pretty good also. This is why i am glade this forum is here to shre succeses with certain things and maybe some of us can crack this pe code. I am glad to contribute in any way i can regarding ssris or other things ive tried. Anyway sorry for telling me life story thanks for reading this if youve made it this far i look forward to hearing back from you guys soon.

Been awhile since I've been around. Good to see this was stickied.

I'll try to answer some q's, sorry if I get the names right cuz I'm not gonna quote everyone.

Pom82, I'm circumcised, so it has little or no effect.

NYC, please let us know how the urologist visit goes.

MandM, you asked about the difference in feeling between men with PE and men without, or men who have taken SSRI's. Well, lucky you I fit all 3 categorie (at least at one time or another). With PE the feelings are very strong, very sudden, and very uncontrollable. On an SSRI the feelings were weak and really had no need to be controlled. In order to cum, strong pelvic muscle contractions were needed. And before the SSRI when I was not on medication and did not have PE the feelings were strong, but not as strong with PE. They also did not build to uncontrollable levels so easily and quickly. So yes, the feelings are different. I would say that men without PE are not feeling what we feel. Instead, they have weaker sensations and have little need to control it. And with weaker sensations comes easier control.

So if you were wondering if non-pe men felt this amazingly strong feelings of orgasm and ejaculations, but were able to delay it, I'd say that's not the case from my own experience.


Soca, I too do not have PE with oral or hand jobs. I think it's a combination of the better stimulation from intercourse and the ability to control the muscles. During sex you may be in a position that makes it difficult to relax certain muscles. Also in positions where the male is responsible for movement you already have many muscles working, it's hard to control the pelvic muscles. That probably explains why certain positions work better for me. Woman on top, I can concentrate on relaxing them. Standing up, I may not be able to concentrate as well, but standing up seems to give a natural delay perhaps because of natural relaxation or perhaps a reverse contraction. In fact, standing up works better than laying down for me.



I quote this one because I'd like to ask some questions and make some comments.

First, the penis is not a muscle. The penis is spongy tissue, but there are muscles connected to it. Just like the ear is not a muscle, but it can be moved by the muscles connected to it. So you're not exercising the penis, you're exercising the muscles around it.

Secondly, you bring a whole new realm to the kegel exercise theory. I've seen it briefly touched on, but never so specific as you mention. The explanations I usually hear as reason to exercise these muscles are one of two. One being that exercising these muscles will give you the strength to physically "pinch" off ejaculation. The second being that the exercise is meant to give you control of the muscles, so that you can relax them when needed.

So you're bringing a third to the table, which I'd like to ask about. It seems that you are suggesting that by exercising the muscles you're not simply delaying orgasm, you're not simply blocking the escape of ejaculate, and you're not simply controlling the muscles, but instead you're using them to maintain an erection after ejaculation.

My question is mainly to clarify this one quote...

"After some practice you find that you can flex this muscle after an ejaculation and your penis will remain hard after a minute of more sex your penis will become stimulated again and you will not have to flex it in order for it to stay hard."

Are you ejaculating, and right afterwards you contract the muscles and continue to pump in and out? And then after a minute or so of continued sex, with contracted muscles, your erection then becomes naturally sustained?

Do you hold the muscles during that minute or so, or do you contract and relax and contract and relax? Quickly? Hold for a certain time, relax for a certain time? I'm asking about what you do during that time to pass the refractory period, not how you exercise the muscles.

Which muscle? As there are more than one in the area. The one that when pulled will pull your penis in some? The one more in the perineum area? The one more in the anal area? All of them?

thanks healthy sex.
I've been reading through these pages and I can't believe you're not a doctor, hehe.

I have a question for everyone.
what is it about PE that angers you off the most? I mean, coming fast is emabarrassing and all but what about round two or three?
let me ask this...I'm not too schooled on viagra but if say you blew your load in 10 seconds. Usually after that your penis goes soft. but if you had viagra, wouldn't that keep your penis hard so you can go and please your woman? this may be expensive and may not be a long term fix but will it work?

this may be a dumb question, but I haven't read it here yet so please indulge me.

thanks everyone.

I'm not really sure, as I've never used any ED drugs. However, since they carry a risk of priapism (erection for over 4 hours can cause tissue damage, which by the way can lead to permanent ED) I'd imagine that they can maintain an erection after orgasm. I believe they also cause a slight delay in ejaculation, but not to any extent that they would be called a premature ejaculation drug.

Not something I would want to try, especially since I don't have ED, but it might work. I think without ED your risk of priapism may be increased, so extra small doses might be the way to go. I'd hate to get ED from an ED drug.

hi guys, I know I'm new around here but I had great results recently and I thought I'd like to share. All I did was use 'Extended Pleasure' condoms by Trojan and I wore a rubber penis ring. I lasted 45 min. the first time and the three times since I didn't even come at all which kinda sucked but atleast I didn't blow in a minute lol. Last night I used a regular condom and lasted 10 minutes and it was well more than enough to please myself and my woman. anyways, hope everyone is doing ok and thanks for this forum.
take care.

I also thought that a penis ring would keep it hard after ejaculation but that's not the case...well in my experience anyways. As you said, you lost your erection half way through when you used the 'extended pleasure' condom and so have I. so I tried a penis ring on at the same and it kept me hard until I came.

The only thing now is...she is thinking about getting birth control so we won't have to use condoms. So no more help from Trojan! So I'm thinking about using the 'extended pleasure' condoms every other time to get used to having sex without that help and learn to control myself better.

bye.

Healthysex- Thanks for the input. It's good to hear from someone who has had many points of view. I was just thinking, maybe it's not the actual sensitivity in the penis which leads to PE, but rather how we are perceiving sensations in our mind and body. I wonder if there is a faulty link in our body that is perceiving extreme sensitivity. I mean if it were a problem with extreme sensitivity in the penis, then why would we last so much longer after the first time we ejaculate? Wouldn't we ejaculate just as fast the second time if it was a physical penial problem?

Soca - I've also tried those condoms, Durex Performax are the same as well. Those are very powerful as well. Those can definately delay orgasm. If you are worried about not using a condom and going raw, try numbing sprays or gels instead. Make sure they are a kind that soak in well and don't rub off, as that would numb your partner, and she'd never orgasm.

POM- Alcohol is an old trick to massively increase stamina. Just be careful of getting whiskey-dick, not being able to get it up, if you drink too much. Alcohol numbs the entire body, including the jewels. It also slows all your reactions, including your ejaculation reflex. This is another reason why you aren't supposed to drink and drive, because your reaction times decrease exponentially. Alcohol cools/slows the central nervous system; alcohol is a depressant.
The trouble is, are you going to drink every time you have sex? It would be nice, but it's not realistic. I also think the more sex you have while buzzed/drunk, the harder it is to control PE while you're sober.

Ive been suffering all my life apart from 3 occasions which i had to purposefully try to ejaculate after about half an hour, the feeling after that was amazing.

I'm hoping that someone has had similar symptoms to me and has some advice.

When i recieve hand stimulation it is very rare that she can make me ejaculate. Oral is similar unless she is very good, its been been a long time or i am extremely horny.

Then comes the penetration, its a constant battle from the start to hold back, on average i think its about 20 seconds, then i try to keep thrusting until i lose all firmness completely.

Over time in a relationship this sometimes increases but maximum a minute on the first try of a night.

As for masturbating, if i go as fast as possible again this lasts between 20 seconds and a minute.

I'm currently single but would like it that the next time i'm with someone to not be embarassing.

Any advice or training tips are very welcome