the Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Discussion

Goalie, just curious, have you ever encountered any Erection or Low sex Desire issues while on the Zoloft ? Or any other Negative side effects such as being very sleepy, or headaches or upset stomach etc ?

thanks,

dj

Be82,

Id like to chat with you if you dont mind about your unique experience and knowledge on ssris. I sent you a Mssg. to ur inbox with my email address. Write to me when you get a chance

thanks,

dj

I currently take 100mg tablets of Generic Zoloft from online pharmacy. Otherwise known as Sertraline. I get a 3 month supply for the cost of 1 month at a local pharmacy. I have had no unwanted side effects, in fact since I am increasing my staying power, whether it be the Zoloft or the kegels or a combo of the two, i find my sex drive increasing. This is working for me and I hope it can help other people. I just started the kegels about 2 weeks ago and like i said only do them every other day to let my PC muscle rebuild itself.

Like one person said above, do not fight your arousal. When you tell a child not to do something it makes them want to do it even more. So think of it that way, if you let yourself become aroused rather than trying to tell yourself not to, you will have much better control over the situation.

This is a very common problem guys and i still am not at the level i want to be but i am confident if i keep up with the kegels that I will get there soon enough. So relax and enjoy sex, no matter how long it lasts. This is what i do when sex doesnt last as long as i want it to: I simply say "wow that felt amazing i couldnt help myself, let me take care of you until im ready to go again". then just go down on her for a few minutes and go right back at it.

if you play it off like it isnt a big deal, the girl will most likely follow. of course we dont want this to happen everytime but as we continue to progress this is a way to avoid the shame.

Dont be ashamed of it guys, orgasm is natural thing..if anyone should be ashamed it should be the girls for not being able to get off as easily as us. It would suck not knowing if you were going to get off each time you had sex. what a tease that is. Take it as it is and put forth the effort to change it, regardless of the outcome enjoy yourself.

Ive posted on this thread before but never really got any feedback at all - il keep this post short.
around 3 years ago i never had pe at all, was always in full control and could last as long as i wanted, however after a relationship i had that ended with my parters parents both dieing, it has gone downhill. with my last partner i had mixed fortunes. when i had been drinking alcohol, and in some cases not even being drunk i could last as long as i wanted, sometimes without ejaculating! though when im sober im back to my problem of sometimes blowing off without even making penetration. and it is these reasons why i think mine is mental. i dont know whether the alcohol helps me relax and thus allows me to have more control or not. i would really appreciate some feedback, thanks guys!

So I guess I am not the only one who believes that a day off of Kegel's is good for the muscle? And that strength wasn't necessarily the goal, but control, and the best way for control is by getting comfortable with the muscle.

But may I ask if anyone else can tell me how to perform a reverse-Kegel. I have researched it and found a couple different websites which try to explain it, but I just don't really know how to do it.

Another thing is, you guys talk about these SSRI's which is interesting, I have done some things before in my past, such as ecstacy which is the only time I have ever been able to control my PE, it made everything feel much better, but also gave me all the control over my PE.. I kind of wish there was a way or people were using some things in ecstacy to possibly help find a cure, or temporary fix for PE. And yes you may be thinking well why would they use that, its dangerous, but no, experiments are done all the time using various drugs for drug research, and not all the chemicals in drugs are bad.

Hey i finally got out of PE. I found that when my legs were hardly spread apart my muscles would push on my prostate durring sex and make it hard to control. Try spreading your legs out allot more and have sex. Deep breathing will also help you control your prostate.

Diet may also be a cause of this. If you have great cardiovascular health this wont apply but here's some tips.
-Carbohydrates. Some will give you serotonin which is like the drugs that are sold on the internet but healthy.
-Exercise. You gotta be in shape bud. get running.
-Spice it up. Add some hot spices to your foods. this can help clear out the arteries to your prostate. good blood flow means good sex and better stamina.

Hi,

I have a tight foreskin and i am affected by Premature ejaculation. I dont have any pains during masterbation. My doctor advices me to go for circumcision and saying that it will cure that.

Has anybody having similar kind of situation? Please help.

regards,
BS

Hi,

I have a tight foreskin and i am affected by Premature ejaculation. I dont have any pains during masterbation. My doctor advices me to go for circumcision and saying that it will cure that.

Has anybody having similar kind of situation? Please help.

regards,
BS

Not sure about right foreskins sorry, hopefully a solution to that fixes ya PE

Masturbated for like 1hr30 last night, came close to the point of no return but slowed down, relaxed and it passed. Really happy All the way through just relaxing my mind/body, taking deep breaths, and concentrating on keeping my PC mucle relaxed (Till it snuck up on me in the end, but hey ) That site John posted a while back was a big help on that. Here it is again

http://infosex.com/orgasm- control.htm

How's it going for you Jimmster and the rest?

Well, I had a mojor setback so I thought it best to describe what happened and you can all draw your own conclusions. I am convinced this is a breakthrough for me in understanding what PE is all about, so I’ll explain that at the end.

(Very briefly, I’m 40, married, 3 kids, great sex until PE started 2 years ago, so bad I climax before entry. Have had good success with exercises in Metz and McCarthy “Coping…” including getting her through to orgasm and coming when I chose to in the last month or so).

Last weekend we hadn’t made love for weeks and I am now away on work for two weeks so I was dead keen to have a go before I left. I felt we were going so well with the exercises that we could just freestyle, but she felt she didn’t know what she was meant to do and stopped and said so. I got tense and couldn’t get hard. So instead of getting a “calm erection” I jumped on top and started rubbing myself on her and got instantly hard. It felt so good and I had such faith in relaxing my PC that I got carried away and climaxed while I was putting on a condom (!) Very upsetting.

What I realised afterwards was that I was doing exactly the opposite of all the training I have been doing. The technique that has been working for me is focusing closely on the stimulation, the sensations that you are experiencing and not getting yourself aroused by looking at your lover or imagining the erotic movie scenes that really turn you on. I was doing that intensely and totally neglected to concentrate on the sensations.

I can hardly believe how powerfully this switch happened – I have felt totally in control until this time, like I could take any amount of stimulation, but the moment I switched to partner focus arousal I just totally lost it. I think this is the essence of what staying calm is all about. I know I have excellent control of my PC and it is strong, but that control is absolutely overwhelmed by being aroused in an over-erotic mental way instead of in a physical way.

Anyway, frustrating being away now for 2 weeks, but I promised myself (and my wife) that I wasn’t going to go into a spiral decline. I’m just going to go back a step and keep having the great sex we can now have until I get a better feel for switching between physical stimulation and “partner arousal” which is the thing that sets me off.

I hope this stikes a chord with some of you.

Jimmster.

jimster, do you get "calm erections" before having sex with your wife? meaning you guys stimulate each other as per the book to obtain a "calm erection?" I mean caca i get erections quick from my girl just holding me and especially when we makeout. i get a some precum after a makeout session. so i guess my question is, these aren't "calm erections" i'm getting when i'm with my girl correct?

i just wanted to mention about the book coping with pe and i have done some of the exercises like jim has stated such as the "calm erection." Relaxing/meditating exercises, the touch/massage yourself exercise and i just finished the "calm erection" section. After doing the calm erection exercise for the first time, i skipped whatever it said and started masturbating with my flesh light and noticed that i was about to come within a few strokes but i noticed that i couldn't control my PM/PC at all. It would clench whenever i went up and down with my flesh light. although i did notice this before i didn't think this was a real issue but after some of the relaxation exercises and the body massaging exercises, the book teaches you the sensations of your body and how your body reacts to certain body parts being stimulated. it teaches you to notice these things.

so i went back and did the relaxation exercises and the calm erection exercise about 2-3 more times. also i've been trying to relax my PC all day as many have done here. then again after obtaining my calm erection and went back get my flesh light to start masturbating. instantly i was able to relax my PC. i masturbated at an easy pace, just slowly up and down but again my pc wasn't clenching as much as it did before. i did this for maybe 8-10 minutes and towards the end as my penis got my sensitive, i couldn't control my pc any longer as i started to auto clench again. i didn't come as per Jim's advice but I'm almost convinced that relaxing your PC is the way to go here. I know this is the only the first week or so doing these exercises for me but I see hope and will continue to practice and practice relaxing my PC. Hopefully I see some more progress as I read on the book.

lotus that is exactly how i stumbled upon the pc relaxation technique it was with my fleshlight. good luck i hope it works as good for you as it is for me!

I just found out that my guy was using enzyte. They were hidden in his drawer should I be worried? Is this a sign that he is no longer attracted to me? Is this is a sign that he is cheating on me? We have been together for about 26 years, he is 46 years old. Is this the age when men start having problems with erections? He never had any problems before, so why the recent change? He now has a job where he is out of town allot, so if he is cheating, I wouldnt find out. Maybe I am being too sensitive about this new find, but I am worried that I will loose him, either to someone else, I also worry about the side effects this medication may have on him.

well i hate to make this a personal blog but i will lol. So i woke up this morning and again decided to get the calm erection. it took me about 10 minutes to achieve (man i didn't know it would take that long, usually i get hard instantly when me and my girl touch each other). so then i started to masturbate with my fleshlight. laying on my bed, relaxed and legs spread. well i am happy to say that that was fully able to masturbate for 17 minutes straight without even coming close to coming. i stopped because i needed to get to work, lol. i made a point to really concentrate on the sensations of my penis, relaxing my body and relaxing my PC. I did feel a few auto clenches of my PC but i remember during the session that i had it few minutes of where the PC was very relaxed. It didn't even auto clench at all. In my first post in this page, i mentioned that i masturbated for roughly 8-10 minutes at a very slow pace. well this time, i decided to up the pace a bit and started masturbating at a much faster pace and I couldn't believe that my PC was relaxed and I WAS LASTING. I was excited, lol. Again I just started and will continue to practice this and continue reading the book. I haven't had time to continue the book. all i'm doing is getting a calm erection and then masturbating with my fleshlight with the goal of concentrating on my penis and relaxing PC. I hope this helps somebody.

Hey, thanks Brad for your feedback! im going to my local GUM/sexual health clinic next week as ive had some discomfort but il definately get everything checked out. my grampa recently died and was diagnosed with prostate cancer which i know is hereditory so il definately want to get that checked out for any problems, however a few nights ago i had sex again with my new partner for the second time. the first i had been drinking some alcohol before at dinner and lasted literally hours, while this occasions i managed to keep myself focussed and relaxed for a change, and while i felt the urge to climax before entry as always i managed to understand my senses and controlled them. i dont think i did much different from any other times, however I'l see how things go for me!

So those who have had success with the PC muscle relaxation technique keep the anus relaxed and prevent it from clenching during intercourse. But if it involuntarily clenches whilst thrusting then what do you do?

Also, would you guys say it is most important to practise keeping the anus (pc muscle) relaxed throughout the day so if we notice it is clenched then we should relax it? I know we all naturally relax the anus or pc muscle just before we urinate as it's extremely difficult to urinate if the anus is clenched.

Yes, opening the legs during intercourse makes sense as if the legs are closed then I assume it can put some pressure on the pc muscle and make it more difficult to relax it.

Thanks very much guys.

hey pssd guy. although i wouldn't say i've had success with the relaxation technique, i would say that if you can't really control your involuntary clenches, then i think it is its almost game over and your penis is already sensitive. with the two sessions i've had success in, i achieved a "calm erection" meaning i self stimulated myself without any arousing thoughts or the use of porn while my body is completely relaxed. i was able to control my pc. the one time i couldnt control it was when i used porn to get up and was probably thinking very sexual thoughts in which almost immediately i felt my pc auto clenching and then i couldn't control my PC at all, even with doing reverse kegels. thats from my experience and its really hard to control your involuntary clenches. what you can possibly do is what many people do to fight the auto clench and thats to do a reverse kegel. you can also do reverse kegels when fighting your involuntary clenches during the day as you are trying to relax your pc. hope this helps.