ive been suffering with my weight since i was young. i began to get serious about losing it in any way at 16. i barely ate and threw up. i am 20 now and still do, i dont know if thats considered anorexic or bulimic. i dont binge, but i do purge. i throw up without even making myself. i can feel it ruin my body and my relationships. but i cant stop. all i see is FAT FAT FAT. im 5'7 and weigh 125. i am scared to get help because i just got a fantastic new job and dont want to lose it. what should i do?

-its very hard for me to talk about this, but i need to find answers from people that know where i am coming from, so be kind.