look,,,,i dont think you are gay,,,i sure you are not,,,because i have this habbit of tickleing and caressing my analhole while masturbating,,,and once in a while i even put a fingertip up in there while masturbating too...and im 100% secure of what i am,,and i only have desire for womans.So im not gay.SO about your thing!!,,,i think you can use a vibrator,its better and safer,,it doesnt make you gay,,dont worry,,,im openminded person and i really know what you mean about your situation
So,fisting yourself is bad for your analhole,because medicaly it will eventually make hemorroids to come out and you will have serious complications ..Just try what i told you....im sure you will love it.