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Biological Mom - feelings about adoption

A few years ago I had to put my daughter up for adoption due to my lack of parenting abilities and my lack of income. I know where she is but I am not supposed to know. Her new mom is a wonderful mom and woman, She sends me emails and photos online but somehow my heart needs more. What can I do? I know she is in a loving enviroment and that she is well cared for and I would never try to mess up the contact I do have with them now. So how do I fill this void with out putting one in between them and me? Confused
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replied March 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
Could you maybe talk to this mother and ask if you could have either supervised or unsupervised visits maybe once a week or fortnight?? What is in the contract e.g you are to have no contact?? etc
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replied March 3rd, 2007
I am not really sure what that means but it was done by CPS in texas. closed adoption. They let me see her a few years ago but now when I ask to see her as ms. rhonda they just tell me that they are not ready to tell her who I am or who my son is(her little brother). This kills me everyday. I found them only about a few miles from me. I drove by there but I know if I go any further than that I will lose her completely.
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replied March 3rd, 2007
I know that I am like the odd ball in here but I just wanted to say thank you to some of you who are so dedicated to adoption. If it wasnt for the ones I picked I dont know what I would have done.
I hope that no one takes this the wrong way but one thing to remember when you make your adoption books to be looked at my potential bio-moms, just be yourselves and dont try to sell your selves because people can feel when you are trying to say all the right things and not what come from your heart.
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replied March 3rd, 2007
Experienced User
Awww it must be so hard for you to deal with knowing your daughter is only a few miles away but you cant see her. Im guessing that closed adoption means that you give her over and thats it, you go and live happily ever after?!?! How old would your daughter be now?? if she is young they could introduce you as a friend of her adoptive mother??

I really wish i had the answers to give you!! I wish you the very best in trying to see your daughter!
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replied March 8th, 2007
Destiny
Her adopted mom sends me photos and emails about my destiny but somehow it is not the same. They say they will tell her when they think that she is old enough to understand. I know that she is okay and that she is loved so it is not like I know nothing about her but I still would like to see her. I wonder if I have any rights at all?
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replied April 11th, 2007
Supporter
i dont think you would, im pretty sure when its a closed adoption you loose all rights to your child
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replied April 11th, 2007
Destiny
Oh My Goodness. I just came from a visit with my daughter. Her mom called me last nite and said they have started to show her pics of me and her brother and that they are telling her about me. God Bless them. Thank you all for your support and for your huge hearts. I guess I have learned first hand that God does answer prayers.
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