Mental Health > Eating Disorders Forum > I Need 2 Talk 2 People Dealing W/ Or Who Overcame Bulimia...
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Q: I Need 2 Talk 2 People Dealing W/ Or Who Overcame Bulimia...
asked by: sierra82 on February 27th, 2007
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I am 24 years old & started losing weight about year ago. I was doing it healthy at first, I managed to lose 55 pounds on my own, with healthy diet & exercise. I went from 185 down to 130. I'm 5'6.

But I really started to obsess on gaining back my weight... and I started to become bulimic. I was purging every now and then at first when I felt I had eaten too much, or had eaten something not healthy. It's become more frequent now... I'll do it up to 3x's a day... sometimes I'll be able to skip a day or two & try to stop, but then the next day I'm back to doing it. And the thing is, I don't eat alot at all!!! I only eat dinner and my dinners are usually really healthy, vegetables, salads, boneless chicken, and even if I eat something totally healthy, I might still purge. And if I do allow myself, say one cookie. When all I had all day was a veggie burger on wheat bread for dinner... then I will still feel guilty and end up purging....it's just this cycle.....

This has been going on for 6-8 months now.... and I know it's already wreaking havoc on my body. Sometimes I'll get sores inside my mouth, and I have to use mouthwash. And my one tooth has been killing me & I made a dentist appointment I'm sure it's a cavity... and my hair is very brittle and dry..... I know this is the effects of the bulimia. But I think it could also be, because I am only eating one meal a day... so I'm having double vitamin deficiency. Even though I try to take supplements...

I need to STOP this... I need to OVERCOME this...but I don't know how. I'm so obsessed. I weigh myself twice a day. In the beginning I was working out 5 times a week. Now I've tried to cut back by working out 2 times a week, but I still run 4 miles a week. I'm now 127 pounds... I've lost 58 pounds... I would like to get back up to 130, or at least stay at 127 and be healthy about it! And not do this anymore....

I just want to talk to people that are also dealing with this problem, or have overcome this problem... I want to get past this and be healthy about staying in shape..... and not worry about every little thing I put into my body, or panicking on it's effects. Thank you...
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tinkinpink84
replied on February 28th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Ive dealt with bulimia in the past, etc. i used to do that as well, i would really only eat one meal a day that was with my family, then purge it. But if I were you and really wanna recover id go seek therapy. Finda psychologist in your area. Even though you havent been bulimic for long, seeing a counselor will help. If you want to be healthy you need to eat healthy as well, 3 meals a day or 6 small meals. since u seem to eat pretty healthy dinners id do the same for breakfast and lunch, and cut down yuor workouts just a little bit. You should be able to maintain your current weight that way. But if your mind isnt into it it wont work thats why i suggested a therapist to talk to as well to help you recover and not become bulimic for years and damage your health worse. Keep taking the multivitamins though Smile
Diane
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hawkeye69
replied on April 11th, 2007
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Wow! When I read your message, I thought of myself. I started out with a weight loss program and managed to lose 90 pounds, healthy. Now for the past several months I've been purging up to 7 times a day. My dentist recognized it. My teeth began to erode. I'm actually not ready to give up the purging just yet. I know for health reasons I should, but it has become an obsession just like you said. Exercising and working out also has become an obsession.
I'm sorry that you have this, but I'm also glad I'm not alone...
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v00d00cita
replied on April 12th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
I haven't purged since mid-January. So I can tell you that it's possible not to purge. And I purged a lot, it took me a long time and effort to make it.
I still don't see myself as a beautiful body nor do I think that, but I haven't purged for three months..
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davec26
replied on May 16th, 2007
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Try Here
website taken off.
You aren't allowed to post advertisements for other forums in this forum. I'm sorry.
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Nakisha
replied on August 13th, 2009
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Hey, i go through the same thing. I have not lost as much weight as you, but to be honest...and i know it bad but....i want to. I'm not overweight or anything, but in my own eyes i'm obese and disgusting.
Usually all I eat now is one protein bar a day and some soymilk (regular milk makes my throat swell until i cant breathe). Today i tried something different because i wasnt feeling as bad as i normally do. I ate half a small bowl of mandarin oranges for breakfast and a sandwhich for lunch (whole wheat bread with 2 delislices of turkey, lettace, tomato, and cheese). when i finished the sandwich i couldnt help thinking how unhealthy cheese is for a person. But i tried to ignore it. I looked over and saw some sour punch bites. I bought them. I ate about 4 and then my mouth started salivating like i was going to puke. I held it back and told mentally told myself i knew i shouldnt have eaten it. It was completely unhealthy. And my mouth stopped salivating. I went to the bathroom and purged. not just the sour punch bites, but the whole lunch. I made sure everything was out of my stomach.
I hope you can beat this cycle. I'm sure it will not be easy because it is a mental addiction. For me, purging was just a switch from something worse. When i thought i had beat one thing, i had really just adopted another.
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Zazxy
replied on August 13th, 2009
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I can totally relate to your post. I was anorexic from the age of 13 and spent a lot of time in hospital. Somehow I managed to get into uni at 17 to do nursing which I thought would be the start of my 'new life'. It lasted a while, then when I faced stress again, I thought it would be so much better if I just ate all the things I refused myself then vomitted it all up. Little did I know then that a surprisingly large amount of calories are actually absorbed during a binge and I actually found myself putting on weight.Not only that but my face became puffy making me even more unhappy with how I looked.
It is a horrible cycle to be stuck in and theres no easy solution, every case is different. Even tho' I now am working with people with eating disorders I still sometimes struggle, particularly with meals I used to skip and I easily find excuses for not eating things high in fat. I never used to believe people that your body does its best to stick to the weight right for you, binge and starving yourself only slows your metabolism making it harder to lose weight. I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day now, have the odd takeaway and treat and my weight hardly fluctuates. Now I enjoy myself, know that if I do put on a bit weight I can go to the gym to balance it out a bit. I learnt the hard way how hard it is to put on weight, meal plans when I felt like I was eating ALL the time. Now rationally I realise that 1 bar of chocolate isn't going to make me put on weight! It's amazing how quickly when you eat sensibly and regularly you crave a binge less too. When you get the urge apparently sucking ice cubes helps?! For me I just had to take myself to a public place well away from my fridge.
I hope you get over it, little warning about internet things tho'. I think its great you are seeking advice but sometimes it can turn into a competition, as in one person saying well daily I eat this bla bla bla. if you are like me, that only makes me more determined to eat less. good luck.
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kandiapple
replied on August 14th, 2009
New User
Your not the only one out there, I can totally relate to you as well. I've probably been a bulimic for over 2 or 3 years and I was just in denial until a month ago when I told my doctor. I don't think I would have said anything until I read all these effects about being a bulimic, teeth eroding, acids coming through your mouth, etc. I don't want it to happen to me. Sometimes I would purge 5x/day depending on what I eat and sometimes I wouldn't purge for days.

I think its important that you realize you have a problem and taking the initiative to solve the problem plays a big part. I've been better after I saw the doctor, she introuduced a Physiologist for me and I've talked to him once. He told me to make a chart and record what I ate, my mood, the time, who I'm with and if I purged after the meal or not. So I started doing that and under the Purge column I would put a happy face Smile if I didn't purge and a sad face Sad if I did. I want to see more happy faces than sad faces... and suprisingly I've been better. I don't want to purge anymore so I think about what I eat and what I shouldn't eat if I know I'll be purging after... My eating habits are still bad, sometimes I eat really little (at least I'm not purging) and sometimes I eat normal... still working towards normal eating habits.

You've lost a lot of weight (good for you) but its ok to eat things without purging. Look how far you've gone and you deserve to eat things without purging, esp. healthy foods! Loosen up and tell yourself its ok to eat.

Best of luck.
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