Long story short. I was married for 2 years to my ex-husband, we had a son. I have been married to my husband now for 2 years in July. WE have our fair share of problems but overall we have a great marriage and most of the time we are best friends.
Anyways, my ex-husband picks up my son about every 2 weeks. Sometimes my husband is there when he comes and sometimes he's not. everytime he'll ask me a bunch of questions about, how long did he stay, what did you guys talk about, where was he in the house etc.....
I always answer these questions with complete honesty and he might leave it at that but there are times where he just goes beyond the insecurity limit. Like today for example my ex was driving down to pick up my son and it took him a bit longer for whatever reason and my husband came home while he was here (they were getting ready to go sledding) and he flipped out on me in the garage and said "what do you think i'm stupid?" He called here at blah blah time and he should been here a long time ago. I said, I dont know what to tell you ask him why it took him so long. He got pissed off and peeled out of our driveway. My six year old who had just gotten off of the bus saw him and heard him do this. Might I mention that my husband (current) and I have a daughter that is 1 year. So all together there are three children in this home. My ex still had his jacket on and had been here for approx 15 minutes.
Now, way back when....I left my ex husband for Brad(now husband). It was a bad marriage to begin with but before any papers were signed I was gone with Brad. There was some pressure from my family for the first few months and I did go back and forth between the two, fighting my heart vs other people's advice. So Brad had a lot of pain from that and even though I was indesicive he stuck with me and now here we are.
When we talk about this stuff he always brings all of that up and obviously he still holds on to all of it or it wouldnt be such an issue here. SO I guess I dont know how to approach him, I want to be sensitive to his feelings but at the same time. enough is enough. What about my feelings now, does my marriage vows and 2 years of commitment and love not mean anything to him or is he so irrational he cant see beyond his own doubts. Please help me-I know it seems complicated. I cant see through this muck, I need an outsiders view.