So I met this guy in December and we had sex a couple days after meeting. This was a bit of a mistake since it set our friendship off on the wrong foot. I was confused about the whole thing and we talked it out. We decided to stay friends and I guess have a casual fling. This guy is a lot more experienced than I am and is several years older.
I haven't seen in face to face since we had sex but we have talked on the phone and on-line. He's always the one who's setting up dates and asking when he can see me. But he's always the one who ends up breaking those dates and standing me up. I was supposed to see him yesterday and tomorrow. He cancelled last night because he's got a fever and he's cancelling tomorrow because he didn't work today and has to work tomorrow.
So basically... am I being played here? I honestly don't know what to do. I'm thinking of breaking it off but I don't want to but I know if I don't it'll just be worse.
I haven't seen in face to face since we had sex but we have talked on the phone and on-line. He's always the one who's setting up dates and asking when he can see me. But he's always the one who ends up breaking those dates and standing me up. I was supposed to see him yesterday and tomorrow. He cancelled last night because he's got a fever and he's cancelling tomorrow because he didn't work today and has to work tomorrow.
So basically... am I being played here? I honestly don't know what to do. I'm thinking of breaking it off but I don't want to but I know if I don't it'll just be worse.
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Re: Is the Joke On Me?
| forever16 wrote: |
| So I met this guy in December and we had sex a couple days after meeting. This was a bit of a mistake since it set our friendship off on the wrong foot. I was confused about the whole thing and we talked it out. We decided to stay friends and I guess have a casual fling. This guy is a lot more experienced than I am and is several years older.
I haven't seen in face to face since we had sex but we have talked on the phone and on-line. He's always the one who's setting up dates and asking when he can see me. But he's always the one who ends up breaking those dates and standing me up. I was supposed to see him yesterday and tomorrow. He cancelled last night because he's got a fever and he's cancelling tomorrow because he didn't work today and has to work tomorrow.] So basically... am I being played here? I honestly don't know what to do. I'm thinking of breaking it off but I don't want to but I know if I don't it'll just be worse. |
Howdy
It sounds like he wants a friend with "benefits" if you ask me.. and in a way-- unless you agree with it-- that is a form of being "played." Do you truely enjoy this relationship? You say he's older...should be old enough to quit with this nonsense! Be at the very least- civil. You are thinking of breaking it off for a reason-- and you need to trust your instinct. There are plenty of fishes out there, why waste more time on this one?
He's cancelled twice.. if you like- set one more time up. If he cancels- third strike your out! Thereare tons of people in need of friends.. and he doesn't quiet fit the "friend" description if you ask me. Sounds like a Sex Guzzler if you ask me!
Good luck in your decision-- it comes down to what *you* feel *you* want & diserve!! don't settle!!
-=Reds=-
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It was a "friends with benefits" relationship with us. He had no time for a serious relationship and I needed to concentrate on school.
And thanks for the advice! I ended things with him a couple nights ago.
And thanks for the advice! I ended things with him a couple nights ago.
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| forever16 wrote: |
| It was a "friends with benefits" relationship with us. He had no time for a serious relationship and I needed to concentrate on school.
And thanks for the advice! I ended things with him a couple nights ago. |
You just made me smile
Which is a challenge in itself-- but bravo girl!! that is awsome!
I hope things are better for you now!
-=Reds=-
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Man could I ever use a "friends with benefits" type of relationship right about now...how does a guy approach a woman with that proposition?? How do women these days take to that?
I know, it's been a long while since I've been "sniffing around", any advice is appreciated!
I know, it's been a long while since I've been "sniffing around", any advice is appreciated!
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| DPantelones wrote: |
| Man could I ever use a "friends with benefits" type of relationship right about now...how does a guy approach a woman with that proposition?? How do women these days take to that?
I know, it's been a long while since I've been "sniffing around", any advice is appreciated! |
"Sniffin' around.." .N.I.C.E ! Haha!! I *love* how you put that!!
Hum... well go to a bar/club. Those types usually hang out there. I'd be up front.. I am sure there are woman out there that would love a free hump with no commitment.
I am going to get in trouble for this one- oh well! It's the truth!!
-=Reds=-
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i hear alot obout these friends " with benefits" and think it's the way to go if you are not ready to commit
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| MissDepressed wrote: | ||
You just made me smile Which is a challenge in itself-- but bravo girl!! that is awsome!
I hope things are better for you now! -=Reds=- |
It was a "friends with benefits" relationship with us. He had no time for a serious relationship and I needed to concentrate on school.
And thanks for the advice! I ended things with him a couple nights ago.
Thanks, its been a tough week. But I'll survive. lol
| DPantelones wrote: |
| Man could I ever use a "friends with benefits" type of relationship right about now...how does a guy approach a woman with that proposition?? How do women these days take to that?
I know, it's been a long while since I've been "sniffing around", any advice is appreciated! |
It was just a spontaneous thing. We never really said we were friends with benefits but it was understood by both of us. The only reason why it happened was because we had sex in the beginning of our friendship and it just complicated things. We then talked and he said that he had no time for a girlfriend (nor does he have anytime with anyone else other than his right hand
). Then it went on from their. We both wanted sex, etc.
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missdepressed, you're going to be disappointed in me. He called me today and wanted a second chance. I was reluctant but I agreed.
Stupid of me?
Stupid of me?
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i don't think it's stupid of you as long as you have no hopes for a relationship with this guy. if you are okay just having sex than it's not stupid. if you are thinking or hoping he will change or it will be different then i think it's stupid to be with him. just be honest with yourself. you can't change anyone but yourself.
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Jigga-wha?
| forever16 wrote: |
| missdepressed, you're going to be disappointed in me. He called me today and wanted a second chance. I was reluctant but I agreed.
Stupid of me? |
Howdy, forever16
Disappointed- in a choice you wanted to make? Heck no! Forced into? Then of course, I would be. But you weren't.
At the end of it- you are the one that has to make a choice--for what you want! You can take advice-- and not always have to follow it. But...the fact that it is in the back of your head, and you will know what to do- if the situation turns sour...then it was all worth it.
I hope everything works out well- and if for some odd reason it doesn't- you know what needs to be done.
Sometimes you don't know what you got, until it's gone. As cheesy as it is, coming from a counting crows song- it's very true!
And while we are quoting songs--- keep this for thought- "Your my lover, not my life." Sounds a tad brutal- but Boy George is right!
Take care & keep me updated, girl!
-=RedHots=-
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Re: Jigga-wha?
| MissDepressed wrote: | ||
Howdy, forever16
Disappointed- in a choice you wanted to make? Heck no! Forced into? Then of course, I would be. But you weren't. At the end of it- you are the one that has to make a choice--for what you want! You can take advice-- and not always have to follow it. But...the fact that it is in the back of your head, and you will know what to do- if the situation turns sour...then it was all worth it.
I hope everything works out well- and if for some odd reason it doesn't- you know what needs to be done. Sometimes you don't know what you got, until it's gone. As cheesy as it is, coming from a counting crows song- it's very true!
And while we are quoting songs--- keep this for thought- "Your my lover, not my life." Sounds a tad brutal- but Boy George is right! Take care & keep me updated, girl! -=RedHots=- |
apparently he didn't want to end it. He said that i was avoiding him since I had been silent for the past week. I mentioned that he was too and he said that he was giving me space because he thought that it was what I wanted.
I never really wanted to end anything with him but 2 months of trying? I got sick of it. But I guess he's going to make the effort now. We're planning on seeing each other soon since we both haven't had sex since the end of December.
Its a shame that I stopped taking my pills though. We have to wait a week.
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Is the Joke On Me?
hi there,
this guy sounds like a typical player which is fine if you are being a player in this situation too. sex has such a grip over people and if thats all that you want out of it i would probably agree that it is ok to carry on with it. but it also sounds that he clearly has the upper hand in the situation and maybe does not have a lot of respect for you and others? i may be wrong of course.
it is good that you were strong about it and told him it was over and its totally ok that you took him back but there prob should be some changes otherwise you will keep going around in circles with this guy. do you have any feelings for him at all? if you do then it sounds destructive bc it seems he may not have feelings for you.
is there a future here? prob not? do you want to have sex with him that badly? there are plenty of people to have sex with.
good luck
this guy sounds like a typical player which is fine if you are being a player in this situation too. sex has such a grip over people and if thats all that you want out of it i would probably agree that it is ok to carry on with it. but it also sounds that he clearly has the upper hand in the situation and maybe does not have a lot of respect for you and others? i may be wrong of course.
it is good that you were strong about it and told him it was over and its totally ok that you took him back but there prob should be some changes otherwise you will keep going around in circles with this guy. do you have any feelings for him at all? if you do then it sounds destructive bc it seems he may not have feelings for you.
is there a future here? prob not? do you want to have sex with him that badly? there are plenty of people to have sex with.
good luck
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Re: Is the Joke On Me?
| Runner83 wrote: |
| hi there,
this guy sounds like a typical player which is fine if you are being a player in this situation too. sex has such a grip over people and if thats all that you want out of it i would probably agree that it is ok to carry on with it. but it also sounds that he clearly has the upper hand in the situation and maybe does not have a lot of respect for you and others? i may be wrong of course. it is good that you were strong about it and told him it was over and its totally ok that you took him back but there prob should be some changes otherwise you will keep going around in circles with this guy. do you have any feelings for him at all? if you do then it sounds destructive bc it seems he may not have feelings for you. is there a future here? prob not? do you want to have sex with him that badly? there are plenty of people to have sex with. good luck |
Basically we're playing each other. He wants sex, I want sex. But the only we can't seem to work out is our schedules. He's a busy guy, works for the city and usually works from 12pm to 8pm. But we're trying to make it work. I'm seriously deprived right now.
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Re: Is the Joke On Me?
| forever16 wrote: | ||
Basically we're playing each other. He wants sex, I want sex. But the only we can't seem to work out is our schedules. He's a busy guy, works for the city and usually works from 12pm to 8pm. But we're trying to make it work. I'm seriously deprived right now. |
Two words: Super Dildo!
Great investment
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Re: Is the Joke On Me?
| MissDepressed wrote: | ||||
Two words: Super Dildo! Great investment |
lol, its not the same.
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Re: Is the Joke On Me?
But it's still fun!!!
Woooo!
Woooo!
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hey love!you need to turn your attitude around to this situation.
you cant just think right he likes me and this is all genuine OR he is playing me he is a tosser!
you need to think deeper and you have to remember you my darling are a woman!
you obviously like him or you would have binned him by now and people saying chuck him your not really going to do or be satisfied you want to hold on incase there is a chance. but you also don't want to look or feel like a fool.
so this is where you need to test/play with him a little. think of what hes attracted to, what he likes about you or other women, dont be too keen.
why don't you play it all cool for a a little while. meanwhile sex your self up get shopping get your hair and nails done, feel beautiful and get that confidence!you need to be in control you need to feel your doing him the favor even just chatting to him online or on the phone don't make your self so available but be careful not to be arrogant with this.
do a little research does he have others like you? Get gorgeous and casually bump into him in the street, i say casual but youll need to plan it (SECRETLY) then say a quick hello hows it going and " dash of to meet friends" if he is messing you around hell think wow she isn't just all over me and wow shes got hotter. if he does genuinly like you but is busy hell think wow shes looking more amazing than ever and maybe shes moving on i need to act fast.
either way you should find out exacly how he feels.
the worst that can happen is that he will see you and not be bothered ,he might be a jerk but then youll know still holding your pride!
you cant just think right he likes me and this is all genuine OR he is playing me he is a tosser!
you need to think deeper and you have to remember you my darling are a woman!
you obviously like him or you would have binned him by now and people saying chuck him your not really going to do or be satisfied you want to hold on incase there is a chance. but you also don't want to look or feel like a fool.
so this is where you need to test/play with him a little. think of what hes attracted to, what he likes about you or other women, dont be too keen.
why don't you play it all cool for a a little while. meanwhile sex your self up get shopping get your hair and nails done, feel beautiful and get that confidence!you need to be in control you need to feel your doing him the favor even just chatting to him online or on the phone don't make your self so available but be careful not to be arrogant with this.
do a little research does he have others like you? Get gorgeous and casually bump into him in the street, i say casual but youll need to plan it
(SECRETLY) then say a quick hello hows it going and " dash of to meet friends" if he is messing you around hell think wow she isn't just all over me and wow shes got hotter. if he does genuinly like you but is busy hell think wow shes looking more amazing than ever and maybe shes moving on i need to act fast.
either way you should find out exacly how he feels.
the worst that can happen is that he will see you and not be bothered ,he might be a jerk but then youll know still holding your pride!
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*sigh*
I'm sick of it. I'm ending things with him.
I want to thank you all for the advice that you've given me! THANKS a whole bunch!
I'm sick of it. I'm ending things with him.
I want to thank you all for the advice that you've given me! THANKS a whole bunch!
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