I'm a 24 year old man and I've had serious problems with ADD since I was a child. I've also had problems with depression and anxiety, and also have a family history of mental illness.
I was never diagnosed with ADD in my earlier years, but rather depression, although I think it should have been fairly evident that the ADD was there-- my report cards would usually end up being an "A" in two subjects and then an "F" for everything else, my behavior was typical of those with ADD, all while having a high IQ. My grades and behavior were so bad in fifth grade that they decided to give me an IQ test to see if they could establish reason for putting me in a Special Ed classroom, but I ended up scoring in the top 1%. Somehow, it never clicked with anybody at the school department that I might have had ADD.
So, I was put on a few anti-depressants as a teenager and they never had much of an effect. Eventually my behavior got me thrown out of high school and put into an "alternative school," which was essentially a pool hall (the teachers let us play pool and video games all day and have smoke breaks, and I was the only one there who hadn't been kicked out for physical violence or drug dealing). I graduated on time but I leaned absolutely nothing, and was ill-prepared for college. Since the age of 18, I've willingly tried both Paxil and Effexor, and both had no positive effect, and in the case of Effexor, it nearly made me lose my mind. And all the while I have been going to college on and off again, and I usually get sidetracked and give up on it for a long period of time.
While I lack energy and motivation, I've never been suicidal or hopeless. It feels like I have a physical depression, more so than a mental one. I'm at a point now where I am desperately trying to finish college, but I end up dropping classes every semester. If I'm not interested in the subject, I can't pay attention at all, and then I end up having intense anxiety over it. It's still either "A's" or "F's"
So, I have an appointment at a clinic later this week, and I want to address this with the doctor, but I'm not so sure if I should even waste my time bringing up Adderall. I have done illegal drugs in the past, but it has been years since I've used anything, and I barely even drink alcohol anymore (maybe four or five times a year). With a past history of drug use, even without addiction, will a doctor automatically refuse to prescribe me ADD meds? If I bring up the fact that I think I have ADD, will a doctor become suspicious automatically? It seems every wealthy college student I know has absolutely no problem getting this stuff prescribed- and they are often lying to the doctor and abusing it themselves- but I feel like I'm going to have a few strikes against me, considering I'm fairly poor and without health insurance.
I actually want to be open to all options, and I want to be honest with my doctor because I really need to fix what's going on with my brain, but I'm 100% sure of having ADD. What is the likelihood that a doctor is going to tell me "no," all things considered? I have been eating healthier, exercising, and trying to keep my sleeping patterns in line as much as I can, but this isn't going away. Adderall was really the last option on the table for me.