Hello everybody, I have a problem. I have an overall problem keeping an erection in just about every situation including masturbation. I'm gonna be honest about things so don't judge me on a few of these points. It all started one night when I did E....I've done E quite a few times and it has made my relationship with my wife a helluva lot better because the first time we had the best open conversation and fixed a few of the problems we have had which are very minor. But it still made life better for both of us. Now another night I did E and researched a few things which I had already done before about the dangers (I know of the dangers, please don't even bring it up), mainly about what someone kept repeating to me about sexual dysfunction while on it which I never had a problem with before. I know it's possible that it may affect it but ever since I've gotten it in my head I just cannot seem to concentrate properly to maintain an erection. I have lost alot of sexual desire. This problem is purely psychological as I have gained an erection during moments where I got excited and I got an instant hard-on. I'm away from my wife and on a base so I cannot do alot of testing but previous "tests" bored me cuz I kept thinking I'm gonna fail and sometimes I don't but it goes limp soon after I put it in and start getting tired.....I tend to concentrate on the wrong things so I just lose it. I somehow managed to impregnate her and I know the point of the sex was to get pregnant.
Now when I watch porn and try to masturbate I just cannot get hard except at certain points where a spot catches my eye and it excites me to get a hard on and once I do I can maintain it for a short time until I start thinking the wrong things.
The weird part is that although I do not cheat on my wife I have had brief encounters with women who really got me going and did the grope my penis on the outside of my pants. Now of course I am not going to tell her that kinda stuff because I declined ,nicely, to these women but I see it as a key to my cure. Oh I forgot. Now that I do think of it I had a blowjob, I of course feel bad about, 2 of em actually from the same women, but I came so fast that I was amazed. In fact blow jobs from my wife do excite me but only to a point of keeping a rigid hard on for the time it's happening but there have been times where I just went completely limp in her mouth.
I seem to be self diagnosing myself here and probably seem like I don't really need any help but I guess maybe letting it out here anonymously will help to hear feedback.
My main problem is a lack of concentration
-My mind tends to get bored during sex
-Me thinking I am gonna fail is affecting my sexual ability
-I for some reason think think that another woman in bed with me would excite me so much to have my ability while with her
-I feel kinda ashamed about this but my wife is supportive and has tryed to be sexy, however when I met her she was extremely sexy and seductive but after two kids she has lost some of that appeal and I feel wrong about that because she is still beautiful but I'd be lying if I said it didn't play a factor. I still love her to death especially as my best and sometimes only friend I have. I have tryed to encourage her to lose some of the weight but it has only caused her to feel she is unattractive to me which is partly true in a way but I've never let her know it's true and I prove to her it's not by showing my love and it's only cuz I have this problem and have encouraged her to improve herself. I guess I only do it to try and get the excitement back cuz I could pull off some cool sex moves if I could easily pick her up and put her against the wall to have sex or make it easier to have sex in slightly public places.
I may have my own answer within what I wrote and I already feel better knowing someone will respond.
BTW....since I have already admitted I partake in doing a very casual amount of drugs I should say I feel much more horny when I get high on E or the very few and far between snort of coke which improves my sexual desire but tends to make the concentration factor worse so I cannot concentrate on a good porn with a limp dick. I need to find a way to get into the moment like I used to. Of course I can do this without drugs but I thought I would add it to my story since it sometimes plays a role in sexual activity, mostly getting high and masturbating since I am away for so long and cannot visit my wife.
Anyways, don't give me a hard time about the drugs, it's absolutely not the cause of my dysfunction except in the fact that when I did E one time I did alot of thinking and kinda realized I am bored of sex and masturbation....It's kinda weird to be bored of masturbation especially when in my mind I want to cum so bad to a porn over and over. So don't bring it up except in a positive way to be helpful. Thanx
My friend you are suffering from performance anxiety. I am suffering from it presently myself. Once it happens once or twice then every time you go to have a sexual encounter its like you are already telling yourself that " you know " its gonna happen again. Well that creates anxiety and as long as your having those physchological issues it will block the feelings of stimulation from your brain to the nerves that relax the blood vessels that create erections. When it happens all the time and you cant make it go away you are stuck in what is called the vicious circle. It becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. A prophesy is knowing and declaring that something will happen before it happens. Its self fulfilling because you end up fulfilling exactly what you predicted that would happen. All of this it just too much thinking. An erection cant be thought about. It just has to happen.
Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra will help butt he cure will be phsychotherapy.