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Q: What Sould I Do?

asked by: Sail Away on February 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I feel so sorry for brayden right now guys, I feel like he shouldn't be around my 3 year old niece anymore and i've tried to talk to my mom about it but she ends up pissing me off.

My mom has been over here a few times with my niece to visit with brayden, and my niece (dashawntay) has always been *so* good with him and she always talks about how she loves her baby cousin and etc. Well her dad is in the army and she went to kentucky because thats where he lives at right now, she was down there for a week and came back and was the biggest brat. It drives me crazy now...I can't stand to be around her anymore. I know she's just a little kid but omfg!!! My sister isnt the best parent but she still gets toys and stuff, and brayden always gets new toys anytime we go to wal mart or something...So everytime my niece comes over she likes to play with his toys, which is totally fine by me. But then brayden tries to play with them too, and she takes stuff out of his hand and yells at him. And I tell her "you don't touch him like that and don't speak to him like that either" and she started crying, so my mom was like "brayden takes stuff from her too" and I was like yes he does, but he only does that because she's showed him how.

I've tried to help the situation but I am just fed up with it, I cannot be around a little kid that treats my son that way. And I think about when brayden goes to school and if some kid picks on him...Oh god it just makes me so angry... I've taken boxing lessons since I was 10 and i've always stood up for myself and if I ever got picked on i'd ignore it until they took it to the next level or if I got really pissed off then i'd take care of it, so I think i'm gonna get brayden into boxing really young, so if a kid ever picks on him like that he'll know what to do.

But for real guys, how the heck can I control this situation? I feel like I don't even wanna try with it anymore I just don't want brayden to be around her!!!

And my daughter has never been like this....She's around brayden all the time and they play perfectly fine together, they *share* but if brayden is gonna be around kids like that and if they're gonna teach him rude and mean stuff like not sharing and taking stuff away from eachother then i'll just homeschool him because that's ridiculous.

Shocked

helppppppp

i have been trying sooo hard to make brayden different from other random kids, I want him to make something of himself and not be some lowlife that picks on everybody. I remember when I was in school and some of you may not know this but I quit going to public schools when I was in the 6th grade because of a few girls there that wouldn't leave me alone, I got in fights with them all the time and my grades started dropping.

Replies(16)

Nataliachick7

replied on February 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Well I was going to say that that is how most toddlers are...We have a 3 year old family member that was taking toys away from my son and I just told him to share,. And I was told thats how a lot of toddlers are...
But you said your daughter isnt like that. So I think a lot of it has to do with the parenting style too. If your neice isnt being parented correctly then she will prob have an attitude. If it was me personally, I would say this is my house and I dont allow this in my house. I wouldnt allow her over until she changed her attitude.

ThriftyGal

replied on February 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

She's pretty much your mom's responsibility right? And you did what I would say someone in that situation should do, talk to the one responsible for the child's behavior. But since your mom isn't doing anything about it I think that in your house you can take over. If she does something that's not acceptable give her a consequence, like a time out. If she screams and cries... Who cares. That's what kid's do when they don't get their way. Let her cry it out and I think eventually she'll figure out that when she comes to her aunties house she shares, and if she doesn't she get's in trouble, and if she throws a fit then she still doesn't get her way. I think if you're consistent with it and don't give in when she gets mad she'll eventually get the message. But if your mom gets angry at you doing this then i'ld say just tell her that her and your niece can't come over until you two can agree on dealing with the behavior and fixing it. I mean the little girl can't be blamed for acting like this, it's what she's been allowed to get away with. Good luck!

taya

replied on February 18th, 2007

Experienced User

My cousin .Memory had her daughter, .Braelynne when she was eighteen, and braelynne was sweet when she was little, and then when she grew up (particularly when her little sister, .Faith, was born), she became a total brat. This was beyond sibling rivalry; she would hit .Faith and break her toys and now .Faith, who was the sweetest little girl i've ever met, is now completely taking after her sister (.Braelynne's four and .Faith is two.) it makes me so mad that .Memory lets .Braelynne get away with teaching .Faith these things, and I think you're right to get upset; definitely don't let your niece corrupt .Brayden like this...I know she's little, but you need to get your mom's support and lay down the line.

Good luck!

Sail Away

replied on February 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Thanks for the replies guys.

I'm not gonna let her hang around brayden for a while but I just feel so bad for doing it because shes so young and I know it's not her fault. But I know my mom seems to baby her a lot because of my sister, but my sister is actually a good mom when she's sober, and she's doing really good lately but it's like my mom works every day of the week and the only time she gets a break is on weekends, well every weekend she has my neice. Like this weekend she spent the night on friday, and went home at like 9:00, came back at 11:00 because my sister ended up getting drunk.

I just can't stand the thought of brayden acting like that when he's older. My mom was like "ohhh you just dont understand that brayden takes stuff away from her too and she tries to play and he gets in the middle of it and makes her mad" well for 1 he takes things away now because she taught him that and for 2 she yells and screams at him aswell and like I said, my daughter has never had this problem, ever. Her and brayden get along so well. I don't know if its because of how she was raised so differently or if its because she's just that mature for her age. Maybe both.

I feel so over protective though, I dont know how i'll handle it if he gets picked on in school. Ahh.

No sex until your 50 brayden!!

Melissa_20

replied on February 19th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

you know I totally agree with you .d.Another thing is,she is 3 and she should know a little better how to treat others and not to be mean and take things from other kids.brayden is at a stage where is is *just* learning things like that and she is teaching it to him.All you can do is raise him right girl,and if that means not alowing others who are bad influences around so be it.Maybe you could teach her some?Your her auntie,maybe you have some influence on her so you can work with her a bit unless you feel you shouldn't have to to because she is not your child.to me it sounds like your doing a good job with bray and I don't think he'll turn out bad! Wink

candita_sky

replied on February 19th, 2007

Advanced Support Team

next time you know she is coming over i would put all toys up except the one your son is playing with and if she tries to take it away say no it is his toy you should of brought your own then she will learn not to take his. it worked for me when i had same prob with a couple of neices and nephews. i didnt know you had a daughter congrats. i am a little behind on everyones storys sorry

Sail Away

replied on February 19th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

sadie lynn wrote:

I don't want her to think she can't play with his toys because she can, she just needs to learn to share. And she does have toys over here but brayden always has new stuff so she wants to check it out.

Actually, I gave my daughter up for adoption when she was born. I was too young and too stupid to raise a baby!

candita_sky

replied on February 20th, 2007

Advanced Support Team

sorry i hope that i didnt upset you. but you werent stupid if you knew that you couldnt raise her hun but you do have a beautiful lil man .he def is a heartbreaker. Smile

Sail Away

replied on February 20th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

sadie lynn wrote:

sorry i hope that i didnt upset you. but you werent stupid if you knew that you couldnt raise her hun but you do have a beautiful lil man .he def is a heartbreaker. Smile

No it's fine. I'm okay with talking about it actually! And thanks!

tdr

replied on February 20th, 2007

Supporter

I babysit for two different families, one has a nine month old (ten in .March) little girl named .Lucy, and the other family has a three year old named .Addison and an eleven month old (she turns a year on .March 23rd!!!) named Genevieve. Adi does .n.o.t like .Genna at all, and .i think it's so sad. But she exhibits the same sharing "issues" that .Dashawntay does. Basically, what her parents and .I do is she is allowed one hour of .t.v per day (this can be replaced with something else) and if she yells at .Genna or takes one of .genna's toys or anything like you mentioned, she loses her .t.v time. If she goes the day without doing anything mean, she gets a .saf-t-pop.
It's a decent system, actually.

Sunflower_pie81

replied on February 22nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

hey 'd' i didnt' bother to read over the other posts, but i would have to say that i wouldn't let my daughter hang out with children like that. no brats around my little brat. (jk) but you know that if a child hangs around another child they pick up on ever little thing that the other child does and if the child is a brat or disrespectful or naughty then children pick up on that. just like they pick up on us being stressed, angry, happy, sad....they feel the vibe. so children that around other children that are brats and get whatever they want and treat other children badly isnt' good on the. you are a good mother and i am sure that you will make the decision on what is good for your family. i think limited time with her would be ok...until she starts acting a fool then tell them to leave.

or you know have her in your home and if she starts acting that way you can say that people don't act that in your home and she can sit on the couch until she decideds that she will be ok.

Sandbox Party

replied on February 22nd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

i dunno.

maybe Brayden can show that little girl how shes supposed to act. Be a good influence.

Sunflower_pie81

replied on February 23rd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

rainfire1424 wrote:

i dunno.

maybe Brayden can show that little girl how shes supposed to act. Be a good influence.

yeah maybe.....but you neva know

Sandbox Party

replied on February 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Sunflower_pie81 wrote:

rainfire1424 wrote:

i dunno.

maybe Brayden can show that little girl how shes supposed to act. Be a good influence.

yeah maybe.....but you neva know

lol @ neva.
my gangster homie.

Melissa_20

replied on February 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

rainfire1424 wrote:

i dunno.

maybe Brayden can show that little girl how shes supposed to act. Be a good influence.

maybe after he learns and is taught right by dalicia,but he's too young right now.

Sandbox Party

replied on February 23rd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Melissa_20 wrote:

rainfire1424 wrote:

i dunno.

maybe Brayden can show that little girl how shes supposed to act. Be a good influence.

maybe after he learns and is taught right by dalicia,but he's too young right now.

well if Brayden is as good a kid as Dalicia says he is, maybe something could rub off.

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