Hi lisa,
i so understand where you are at and feel for you. I have felt the same way too many times over the 27 years of this tmj nightmare and mostly because of doctors/dentists who have all had different opinions. I do believe you should go for 2nd and 3rd opinions, though, but not all should be surgeons. Seek opinions from different kinds of tmj specialists - regular dentists, orthodontists, oral surgeons and from teaching colleges.
Probably the one thing that kept me together a couple of years ago is the internet. I wished I had checked it out earlier, and, that it had been around 27 years ago. I highly recommend doing all the research you possibly can. You will find lots of interesting and differing information. I do believe the smarter you are, the easier it will be for you to know what to do.
What are you doing to manage your tmj at this time? What have you done other than surgery to help you? I must admit to being very much against surgery as it is irreversible and seems to do more damage than good. I did check into arthrocentesis a couple of years ago and that's when I began my internet quest. In visiting tmj support sites, I just couldn't find anyone who had been helped and there were many, too many, who had been harmed by surgery. You have already had surgery so it makes it harder for me to know what to recommend.
Research and visit support sites. Do not make any decision while you are emotional. Anything you do decide should be rational and make sense. Please take care and let me know how you are doing or if there is anything else I can help you with.
God bless...
Carol