Well its been 46 days and my wife and I are still separated. Lately we have seen alot of each other. She says she wants to spend time with me. She also says that in part it's to test me. She is expecting me to be abusive again. Well i'm really trying not to. After realising what hell I put her through I don't ever want to be that way again. No decisions about us have been made. The only thing we have decided to do is to heal ourselves and become healthy individuals before deciding about us. So I wait. I don't even know if she loves me. She hasn't been able to say it since day two of our separation. I love her very much and am trying to wait this out but it is so hard and it maybe for nothing. Two days, two weeks or two months from now she could say, it's not going to happen and I want a divorce. Everytime she calls I dread answering but am also glad to hear from her. Most of the time I can't stop thinking of her or worrying about her. I am in therapy and looking for support groups but have not found any yet.