Probably because something is contracting when you orgasm and it gets tight. Imo

Yea thats kinda what I talkt...I know they say you have the opening of the anus and then a little bit in there is a valve if I may that opens and closes...They say if u insert the penis in just a bit and let it sit there a few min and relax that 2nd thingy will relax and open as well makin insertion less painful....I kinda figured once I have an orgasim I tense up once again and due to that I become uncomfortabe

i think you hit it on the head! No pun intended.

as for holding off on orgasm, ?????? I have no idea. Be happy you have one at all.

I would definitely agree, as I know that once I have orgasmed through anal sex, I just want to have him pull out quickly.

Wendy

i have never had anal sex with my husband, he wants it so much and i want to let him have it, but when we try, well it just does not "go in" and i get this yuk feeling because it is not the nicest area to have sex..

what do u suggest i do?? how can i do this with no pain??

shaneer,
First let me say that although I love anal sex, it is not for everyone...we alll have our own tastes/likes/dislikes and some gals just don't want something shoved up their bum. If you do want to have sex the absolute first rule is lubrication (this is a must) as you butthole is very tight and there is a need for external help in getting it loosened up and slippery. Second, you have got to be in the mood, let's face it, if you don't want a penis shoved inside you then it's not going to happen, on the other hand if you are aroused, and have relaxed your anus then it can happen. Your husband needs to understand that he must get you going and aroused so that you will be more open to experimenting. Third, your hubby has to go slowly at first, none of this shove the pole in the hole with all his might stuff, cause that will hurt you (ask him what his reaction would be having a broomstick shoved up his butt!). He should ease in his penis and do slow strokes, at least until you are comfortable be entered anally and then he can speed it up a bit - be careful and trust your body as to how fast or slow or deep you allow the penis.
Lastly, you have to be confident that your husband will pull out whenever you tell him. It may seem like a burden for him, but if you know that you can have his penis removed whenever you need to, it will relieve some stress and, again allow you to relax.

Hope this has answered your question,

Wendy

thanks wendy,
i do want to try it with him, and this does help.
i will try again tonight, hope all goes as planned

I wish I could do this!!! It drives me INSANE that it just doesn't happen

It happened almost one it was half way in and then I felt like something was being pushing on and it was a lot of pressure! and to add on to everything I have been told about people having a bowel movement while pulling out TOO SCARY! I was afraid and made him pull out... slowly I might add. We used tons of lubrication ours and the bottles haha! I just don't know it felt AMAZING but once it hit that spot I was DONE! What can I do to stop it? positions? is it normal? HELP!

SmilesandSunshine,
You say that you got a penis is halfway but hit a spot and had to have it pulled out. Can you describe the "spot"? Was there simply discomfort (i.e. just not the right fit) or actual pain (if so, how much pain)?
As for positions, I have always preferred doggy style for either vaginal or anal intercourse. Also have my bum entered while lying on my side, is very comfortable.

Wendy

We tried it laying on our sides. It felt like pressure not really painful. It felt like my first time having vaginal sex. Like you had to get past the one spot and it was fine. It feels the same but I just can't get past it. I've tried a few times after but I don't know whats going on.

Its never painful, it feels good but the one spot just scares me for some reason... Is it suposed to feel like that? If you get past it will it stop feeling that way?

The idea of anal sex isn't really my thing so I've never tried it, but we used to have a poster who explained how to make the first time for anal sex enjoyable/painless.

Form what I can remember, she explained that it was a good idea to take some time before anal sex to gently stretch your sphincter over a period of time. I remember she suggested anal plugs and starting small (like the size of your finger) and working your way up to the size of your partner's penis. If you don't want to invest in anal plugs, then I'd really suggest you at least start small with fingers first-- kinda like how you would your first time before vaginal sex.

As Maddie has suggested you have to get your sphincter stretched a bit. I know when I first started doing anal that it feel very tight and a number of times it just felt like the penis was never going to get all the way in, but it eventually did.

Wendy